Wishing It Away
by MrsMargeryLovett
Summary: Johanna was discovered that night, and Sweeney isn't going to give her up without a fight. Johanna thought she would feel the same way. She had always dreamed for a father, hadn't she? But is it really worth all of this death and hurting?
1. Johanna

My heart raced as I sat alone in the trunk, listening to the muffled voices of who I could only assume were Judge Turpin and the kind man Mr Todd that Anthony spoke so fondly of. Even though I was petrified, I couldn't help but smile through it. He had said so many kind things about Mr Todd that it would be impossible not to feel slightly safer. Yet the fact of the matter was that while I still heard Judge Turpin's voice, I could not leave the cramped space I was in.

"Where is she?" I heard. It was Judge Turpin. I waited with bated breath for his answer, just for curiosity's sake. There was a slight pause, in which time my heart started beating faster, almost echoing.

"She is down below, sir, with my neighbour." In those words, it was as if all the air had been knocked out of my lungs. She is down below? No, that did not make any sense. I furrowed my brow, searching through his words for something that could possibly hint at my escape from London. Not a word of it allowed such. And yet, not a word of his sentence meant that I would be found by Judge Turpin. I felt tears pricking in my eyes; tears of fear.

"She has seen the error of her ways."

"She has?"

"Oh, yes, sir. She speaks only of you. Longing for forgiveness." There was a sigh of lusty relief from the Judge, making me tremble.

"Then she shall have it," he said slowly, almost superiorly. "She will be here soon, you say?"

"Any moment soon."

"Excellent." I covered my mouth with my hand, almost crying out loud. I assumed my whimpers were audible only to myself, because I heard only silence for a few seconds. The sudden noise came as a shock to me.

"How about a shave? Sit, sir. Sit." A shave? How would a shave be suitable at this time? I understood that Mr Todd was a barber- one of the best in London- but I did not see how it was needed. Perhaps there was a plot of some sort going about. Anthony did not tell me that he had such a peculiar friend. I expected a kindly man who would speak sweetly. Anthony was not someone to make friends with this harsh man, who did not sound as if he cared for anything but keeping Judge Turpin's attention. Judge Turpin started humming slightly, almost singing to himself.

"_Pretty Women…"_

"Yes, pretty women, sir."

"_Johanna…Johanna…_"

"_Pretty Women…Pretty Women are a wonder._"

"_What we do for Pretty Women…_" I listened, shaking in the oversized sailor clothes Anthony had given me. I concentrated on their scent for a moment. They smelled so dearly of the sea. Soon enough, the salt was almost burning my nose, but it was something else to concentrate on. I replayed Anthony's voice in my head, trying to block out the little ditty that the two men on the other side of the trunk were singing. Finally, the singing stopped as Judge Turpin sighed again with satisfaction.

"How seldom it is to meet a man with similar tastes, Mr Todd."

"Yes, similar tastes indeed. In women, at least." I stopped smelling the clothes, and pressed my ear against the wall of the trunk.

"What was that?"

"The years no doubt have changed me," Mr Todd said sinisterly. "But then I suppose the face of a barber…the face of a prisoner, is not quite memorable." There was silence, and I could hear the tension echoing off all walls. It surprised me that I was not bouncing off the sides of the trunk I was that scared. Then slowly, and quietly, I heard those words.

"Benjamin Barker…"

"Benjamin Barker!" A squelching sound emitted through the air, and I cowered away from the edge that I had been listening through. There was grunting sounds of fury, soon dying away, as did the gurgling. With a last, pleased grunt and squelch, I heard the sound of gears turning, and a distant thud. I listened out, waiting for a voice to call out. There had to be a voice to tell me to come out. How else would I ever be able to tell Anthony where I was? For all I knew, he was already out there. Tentatively, I lifted the lid of the trunk.

There stood a man that would change my life forever.

The man stood cleaning a shaving razor, but his head snapped quickly towards me as the trunk lid creaked slightly. I thought perhaps he was looking at a picture above me. This was more a wish than a thought, though. He started to walk towards the trunk, and lifted the lid all the way to see me cowering away. I saw his face clearly now. Well, as clearly as you could see a face when it was covered with blood.

"Come for a shave, lad?"

"N-n-n-o, I-" I could not finish my sentence, as I was grabbed by the scruff of the neck and dragged from where I was sat. Without a second going by, I was thrust into the bloody chair that I knew Judge Turpin had just been sat in. My voice jumped from my throat, and I could not speak. The only thing I could do was look up into the man's eyes imploringly, looking for forgiveness and liberty from his grasp. He held his razor high.

"Everybody needs a good shave," he said darkly, and his hand came down towards me. In that moment, there was a scream from downstairs. I didn't hear it though. My voice came back to me for, last second.

"Anthony!" I cried out, squeezing my eyes shut and hoping for a quick, painless death. Yet, when I expected it, I did not feel my skin become pierced by the metal blade. I felt absolutely nothing. My eyes were still securely closed, and the firm hand was still on my shoulder. I opened one of my eyes cautiously, looking up at the man.

"Anthony?" he said brusquely. This man, as it appeared, was the kind Mr Todd I had heard so much about. My lips pressed together firmly, holding back the scream that wished to burst free of my throat. Anthony had told me so determinedly that Mr Todd was the greatest of men, and here I was, his razor only inches from my throat.

"H-h-he sent m-m-me here, sir." Slowly, the razor moved away from me, and was dropped with a clang on the floor. Out of the corner of my eyes, which were still gazing into Mr Todd's, I saw his hand moved gradually towards the hat that Anthony had told me to conceal my hair with. The hand took hold of the rim and pulled it off gently, allowing my hair to tumble free about my shoulders. Mr Todd opened his mouth in shock, but still gained a composure one would not expect from a man covered in blood.

"So you are Johanna?" he said breathily.

"Y-y-yes, sir. Anthony told m-m-me to come here f-f-for safety." Mr Todd choked slightly with a suppressed laughter at this. His hand dropped my hat to the floor, and wandered across my hair. My eyes widened with shock. This man was supposed to be helping me, whether he was covered in blood or not. He was not supposed to be making me relive every nightmare I had experienced, every night where Judge Turpin had haunted me, every single scarring moment that I had spent in his leering presence. My breath became heavier when Mr Todd's hand no longer wandered through my hair, and the other no longer gripped my shoulder, but instead they both wrapped around my form, embracing me firmly. His face buried in my hair, and I could feel the blood running over it. It all would have been easy enough to bear, had he not started to mutter mindlessly.

"Johanna," he muttered, rocking slightly.

"S-s-sir-"

"All those years," he carried on mindlessly. "All those years, wondering and waiting. But finally, after…after all those years. It's all worked out. After all those years, it finally worked out."

"M-M-Mr Todd, y-y-you're scaring me." Hurriedly, Mr Todd stroked my hair- almost possessively- and hushed me.

"Hush, now. It's all alright, Johanna. I promise. Don't worry. You'll be alright, Johanna."

I shuddered, gasping for breath now; I couldn't find the air to do so easily.

"_My Johanna."_

_With that, all of a sudden, everything went black._


	2. Sweeney

Her figure became limp in my arms. I knew this, but I didn't care. All that mattered was that I was finally holding her. I breathed in her scent, the past fifteen years rushing back to my mind. She was just as I had imagined her. Every last detail as I had wished. I sighed in comfort, feeling her safe in my arms again. There was such an elation in my blood I had not felt for so long that it burned my skin. For some strange and unnatural reason, it was a burning sensation that I seemed to have yearned for for so long. Just to know that, for a moment, I could feel again. The thing of it was, though, that it was my daughter that had made me feel that way again. Another first for so many years, I smiled.

Johanna stirred slightly in my arms, and I noticed that maybe twenty minutes had gone by in this way. A stench started to emit through the air, and I knew that finally the job was done. I would have to thank Mrs Lovett for burning the bodies so quickly. I allowed myself to let go of Johanna for a short few moments as I made my way to the small jug of water and bowl that stood mostly unused at the far end of the flat. I had only just noticed that I was still covered in blood. The blood of the Judge. I sneered with satisfaction, glancing at Johanna. She would understand when she woke up. This had all been for her.

The cool water was a strange sensation after Johanna's warmth. I looked over at her, and saw she was still soundly unconscious on the chair. I bathed my face hurriedly in the ice cold water, relishing the cool sensation. As I towelled my face, I heard a hurried thumping outside. I sighed, sensing the fact that Anthony was to visit again.

Then I turned and remembered why Johanna was here.

Before I could run to the door, Anthony had already opened it, running inside.

"Johanna?" he gasped, obviously out of breath. He saw me, and straightened himself out. "Mr Todd! I completely forgot. I'm sorry, very much so."

"It's alright Anthony." He smiled, and saw Johanna in the chair.

"What happened?"

"She's tired, Anthony." His smile grew softer, and his eyes gazed at her. I felt anger pulsing through my veins as I saw this young man staring so longingly at my daughter.

"Thank you, Mr Todd," he said softly. "I don't know how I can thank you any more, my friend."

I knew very well he could not think of a way. I looked at his completely innocent eyes, which had turned to me in his thanks. The fire in my veins started to subside, as I watched and saw nothing that hinted at lust in his eyes. I saw only pure and unconditional love. That was what was going to make this the hardest thing I had ever had to do in my life by my own hands.

"Anthony…"

"Yes, Mr Todd?"

"I think you should go now." Anthony jumped slightly, and smiled, as if he had just remembered something he should not have forgotten.

"That is right! I have left our coach downstairs waiting." He moved towards Johanna slightly, but I had already stepped in between them.

"Anthony, I still owe you my life for saving me from the storm when we first met, and so I'm going to let you leave now."

"Sir, I only have to get Johanna, then I'll-"

"No," I said firmly. "No, I'm sorry Anthony, but you won't." Anthony laughed nervously, shaking his head.

"Mr Todd, I can't say I understand."

"Then hear this, Anthony. I can't let you take Johanna." He stopped laughing, and looked at me.

"You're joking, aren't you, Mr Todd?" The look in my eye told him I wasn't. "But- but you helped me find her again! You helped me find out a way to retrieve her from Foggs Asylum. You encouraged me, you told me to bring her here."

"Anthony, if I could find the patience, I would tell you why I won't allow you to keep her."

"Tell me, Mr Todd," he said firmly. If I had not already seen more exceptional things during my life, I would have been taken aback by his much firmer tone.

"You wouldn't believe me if I did, Anthony."

"I can barely believe what you are doing now. I don't think it would be much harder to find an explanation in front of me." I looked at him, trying to stare him down, but it seemed he would not be swayed.

"You can't imagine how much I've waited for this day, Anthony."

"About as long as I have, I would have thought."

"Then you've thought wrong."

"What's going on, Mr Todd?" I looked at Johanna, and saw she was still soundly oblivious to everything that we were saying.

"She's my daughter," I said quietly. I don't think Anthony heard me when I first spoke. There was a moment silence, until Anthony started to smile again. Obliviously.

"Then you want me to ask for your blessing?"

"Not at all."

"We have already received it?" I shook my head, sighing.

"You're not listening to me, Anthony," I said through gritted teeth. "Just go now, before my temper becomes out of my control."

"But, Mr Todd-" My anger became outrageous at this point, and before he could utter another word I already swooped down to retrieve my razor and held it to Anthony's throat, pinning him against the wall.

"How many times must I tell you, Anthony?" I saw his horrified face, but I didn't mind any more. I had seen men preparing for engagements, marriages, and even the births of their children come to me for a shave, and I had had no trouble in slitting their throats. The only difference with this man was, deep down, I know he had long to go before he did anything to harm another man.

"Mr Todd, what are you-"

"If you would not listen to me then, you'll listen now. Johanna is mine. She always has been, and now that I have her back, no one is taking her away. Any man that tries is going to have to answer to my little friend here. Believe me, Anthony, I don't want that man to be you." Anthony was shaking against the blade, looking at Johanna.

"B-b-but, sir, I-I-I worked so hard to f-f-f-ind her. You can't take her away from me," he added more boldly. I pressed on his neck a little bit harder, watching him grunt in pain as a small trickle of blood escaped from the wound.

"Fifteen years, Anthony," I said. "Fifteen years! And those fifteen years aren't going to waste." In my fury, I didn't realise I had already raised my arm, prepared to start my razor slashing through his throat.

"No, Anthony!" We both turned, and saw Johanna's horrified face staring at us. At me. Before either of the two could move, I already had jumped to Johanna side, pinning her back onto the chair.

"Anthony, go!"

"But-"

"Now!" He looked at Johanna with wide, frightened eyes, and shook his head slowly.

"I'm sorry," he said in barely a whisper, and he ran from the room.

"Anthony!"

"Calm yourself, Johanna." All of a sudden, it was as if a candle was suddenly lit in her head, and she finally comprehended what was going on. She started to thrash, fighting against my arms. She started to claw at my shirt, trying to break free with the passion of a bird in a cage.

"Let go of me! Let go! I need to- I need to see him! Anthony!"

"He's gone, Johanna." She shook her head fiercely.

"No, no! He'll come back! He always comes back for me." Her tears started to form, falling gracefully on my shirt. Slowly, her struggling weakened, and all she could do was cry. She feebly batted me away as I wrapped my arms around her more lovingly, but I was far stronger than her in comparison. There was barely a struggle left in my daughter after that. The only movement Johanna made for the rest of that night was slight shaking from her sobs, and even that did not last very long.

After an hour or so of crying, Johanna blinked a few times, wiping away her tears. She still cried, but they were dry tears. Her shivering body was alarming, and so I quickly wrapped her in the blanket that Mrs Lovett would always leave out for me. They had never been used by me, and I was glad to see that Johanna stopped shaking as much as she had done before. I pulled her onto my lap and rocked her slowly, just as I had dreamt all that time ago. As I rocked her, Johanna's lips parted slightly with a shaky sigh.

"_A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain, softly blows over Lullaby Bay._" She sighed again, a much lower and more melancholy sound.

"_It fills the sails of boats that are waiting, waiting to sail your worries away._" I looked down at Johanna, whose eyes were fastened shut through sheer will. Her lips quivered as she sang.

"_It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain, and your boat waits down by the key. The winds of night so softly are sighing, soon they will fly your troubles to sea._" I leaned over and pressed my lips to her head, keeping them there in a frozen kiss. My hand moved up and down her arm, attempting to warm her and soothe her to the best of my ability.

"_So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain,_" she continued, her voice cracking. "_Wave goodbye to the cares of day. And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain, sail far away to Lullaby Bay…" _With a soft breath, she finished, and to my knowledge fell asleep. To say the least, I was fascinated. I had not expected her to be able to sing, let alone actually sing out loud to herself. I replayed her voice in my head. It was exactly as Lucy's had been. I closed my eyes, picturing her face for a moment, then realising the pain it caused me. I could not concentrate on that any more. I had Johanna now. And we would never be apart again. Not if I had anything to do with it.


	3. Johanna 2

Throughout the night, I was constantly cringing. The cold hands that had laid on my shoulders before the night enveloped me were disturbing, and not at all what I had planned on having by me. I hoped dearly that when I awoke, those hands would be gone. I dared not look to see if they were. I expected at first I should have been able to feel those hands, but I had been wrapped in a thick blanket and it would have been impossible to tell. All that I could have been sure of was that I was still sitting in that awful chair.

The chair in which a man had died.

I shuddered slightly. It was then I felt the hands. One lay a slight pressure upon the blanket, rubbing lightly as if to cause friction for heat. Strange, I thought. This man had kidnapped me, and scarred my mind beyond repair, yet he worried about such a trivial thing as warmth. I shifted my shoulders, trying to move away from his hand, but it only gripped on. I surrendered, allowing him to do as he would.

All of a sudden, I opened my eyes. My hands started to trembled inside the blanket cover, and slowly wandered up to my chest. I sighed with relief. The shirt I was wearing was still fastened as it had been the previous night. I was still fully clothed, just as I had been left. My mind started to race. If this man had neither hurt me physically, nor touched me in any way except through a blanket, then what was it that he expected of me? Of course, I did not wish for any harm to come for me, but I almost wished that he would have done something to let me know what his intentions were.

I heard him sigh lightly, and wrap his arms around me. Gently, he pulled me closer towards him. To my relief, it was all too gently, giving me the chance to sprint from my place. Despair flooded my heart and mind as I realised I was wrapped too tightly in the blanket, meaning I tripped as I jumped up. I came crashing to the ground, and immediately he was by my side. I thrashed a hand out at him, yelping, and crawling away from him to the nearest wall.

"Please, don't come near me."

"Johanna-"

"No, don't you dare." He stopped, hovering a few feet away from me, his hands held up as if to claim an innocence. In the back of my mind, something told me to take heed of this, but the majority of my instinct told me to make sure he didn't come any nearer.

"Johanna," he said again, softer this time. "Just stand up. We'll get you washed and properly dressed, then we can talk this through."

"Talk what through?" I asked shakily.

"I'll tell you that when we've gotten you sorted." I blushed at this.

"I am not something to be sorted." Mr Todd sighed irritated.

"You know very well I didn't mean that."

"Then what did you mean? You're not making any sense!"

"Calm yourself and I will be able to tell you exactly what I mean, won't I?" I felt behind me for a support on the wall, and started to climb to my feet slowly.

"I can't."

"Of course you can," he said gruffly. Instantaneously, it was as if he regretted the tone. He changed to a much gentler one. "I only want you to trust me until you've heard me out." A hand was held out towards me, and I stared at it.

"You can't fool me that easily."

"I'm not fooling you." I snorted with laughter, suddenly hysterical. I don't know why, but maybe a small part of my mind had snapped, disallowing me to control my giggling.

"Of course not. My captor would never dream of such a thing. A murderer would never lie. A kidnapper would never jest."

"This is not kidnapping."

"So you deny kidnapping, but you do not deny murder." He stopped in his tracks, his mouth slightly open as if to answer me. Then his face set again into a more brooding countenance.

"You and I both know what happened last night. By me telling you that I murdered the Judge should be enough to tell you I would not lie to you."

"_Judge Turpin was not an honourable man, but I don't see what right you had to kill him."_

"_I have my reasons." I tilted my head slightly, still watching his hand which was still held out towards me._

"_How do I know I won't find the same fate?"_

"_Did I kill Anthony last night?"_

"_Well, no, but-"_

"_Then why would I kill you?"_

"_Why would you kill Judge Turpin?" That question stopped him in his tracks. The hand in front of me dropped back to his side, and Mr Todd turned from me._

"_Like I said. I have my reasons for killing him, and I have my reasons for not killing you."_

"_Then tell me!" I became furious now; impatient with being told all of these silly nonsensical words like 'I have my reasons' and 'I'll tell you later'. I felt almost as if I were a child of six, not sixteen. Mr Todd did not turn to look at me when I shouted at him. My face turned red with rage, and I gritted my teeth._

"_Calm yourself," he said simply, not even turning around._

"_How dare you tell me to do such things when I can barely imagine you being who Anthony said you are. I do not see Mr Todd before me. I see a man- no, a demon- with no pity in his heart. Who are you? Tell me that, and I may finally be able to trust the man before me." He still did not move. There was an unnatural aura to the way he stood so still. It simply wasn't ordinary. I gritted my teeth harder, and without warning from even myself, I pounced upon him from behind. He was barely jolted by it, but was alarmed all the same. I began to beat at him with my fists._

"_Tell me, Mr Todd!" I cried, my voiced frenzied. "Tell me who- what!- you are!" Two firm hands placed themselves on mine, successfully halting them._

"_You'll hurt yourself," he muttered. I bared my teeth in a snarl._

"_If I did, it'd be your fault!" He sighed, and made one last attempt to soothe me by words. When it didn't work, he gripped my hands firmly and swung me around from his back and into his arms. I was trapped again, clinging onto his neck so as not to fall to the ground. He looked at me, his eyes calm._

"_At least now," he said, "it won't be either of ours fault." My eyes started to tear up again, and my lip quivered._

"_Just…tell me who you are." His eyes were buried deep in mine, and for a while there was silence in which I was fastened into his gaze. When he spoke, his tone was low._

"_My name is…Benjamin Barker."_

"_You lied to Anthony?"_

"_I lied to everyone."_

"_Why?" He chuckled darkly._

"_For the same reason I killed the Judge."_

"_Judge Turpin."_

"_Yes." I shook my head mournfully._

"_I detested him so, but what reason can you give for killing the man I once called father?" He winced slightly._

"_Because he took that title from another man."_

"_Then why did he not claim it back?" I was dropped again to my feet, and the man whose name was still a mystery to me grabbed my shoulders firmly, shaking them slightly._

"_I could not! The man you once called father was a pious vulture of the law who removed me from his plate to steal your mother! Why did I not claim you back? I was across the world in Australia, under false persecution! What better excuse can you hope for, Johanna? You have heard what I call my reasons, and they should be plenty enough for you, for you can not escape them!"_

_My quivering lip froze, and my eyes stayed unblinking. Our faces were inches apart, and I could feel his ragged breath upon my skin. His dark eyes showed no light that was natural with such fury, and which was disappearing quickly from my own. Slowly, I began shaking my head._

"_No."_

"_Johanna, you-"_

"_No. No, it's impossible. No, my…my father is dead. Judge Turpin said so."_

"_Would he have wanted you to know."_

"_My father is dead," I said louder, more determined. "With my mother, too. Both of them died when I was a baby, and they're gone. Together in heaven. They're not down here."_

"_Your mother is gone, Johanna, but I am still here."_

"_But you're not my father! I don't care if you're Benjamin Barker or Mr Todd, but whoever you are, you are not my father!"_

"_Johanna, your birth certificate tells different. You were born Johanna Barker and you will die Johanna Barker. You can not be so childish about this all."_

"_Childish!" I said, my voice high and shrill. "I'm not at all being childish!"_

"_Johanna, if you will only listen. I know it is difficult to say the least, but I am your father."_

"_You are no father of mine! I have never met you until last night, and even then I have seen not one ounce of fatherly affection."_

"_How can you say so?"_

"_I have been pinned in a blood soaked chair while my love is sent away from me by a man who claims to be my father, and I threatened with a razor by him not long before. I have been frightened out of my wits, waiting for molestation of some sort."_

"_How dare you think such? And what is this about no fatherly affection? Last night I had not a wink of sleep because I spent the night soothing you as you whimpered in your dreams. I wrapped you in that blanket when you shivered. I hushed you as you cried, and waited patiently until you slept. If you can not find any affection in that, then so be it. But there is no denying that simply because you were too distressed to notice it, does not mean that it was not there!"_

_He was panting, the breath now heated against my face. I still did not blink, afraid that if I did, I would never open my eyes again._

"_It doesn't make sense," I said finally, my voice cracking. The fury in his eyes quickly vanished, revealing a childlike guilt._

"_I'm sorry. I didn't want to have to say that so…"_

"_Viciously."_

"_Call it what you must, but I don't regret saying it." I noticed that I was still leaning against the wall, my legs shaking._

"_What is to happen to me?" I asked warily. Mr Todd- or whoever I must call him- looked at me strangely, and then shook his head._

"_I don't know."_

"_Th-then there is hope for me to le-"_

"_No!" His abrupt answer made me jump slightly. At least, it was not much, but it resulted in me falling to the ground again._

"_But, if you don't-"_

"_I know where I'm keeping you at least." My pale cheeks began to blush in fury again._

"_I am not a bird, sir."_

"_I never said you were."_

"_Yet you wish to place me somewhere as a bird. Either way it seems I am to be more of a pet than any child you think you have."_

"_That I know I have," he said dully. "And you must know I would never intend such a thing to happen."_

"_So tell me that I may leave when I chose." He pressed his lips together, his eyes showing light of a mind at quick thought. Then, again, he shook his head._

"_I couldn't allow it."_

"_Then I must," I said firmly, and as quickly as the thought had come to my mind, I was running for the door. It came closer towards me, but my opponent was both stronger and faster than I was._

"_What did I just say?" he asked fiercely as he blocked my way through the door. There was only a pause in my efforts, though, as I began pushing him out of the way._

"_If you can put up no better argument for me than 'because I said so' then I shan't stay any longer!"_

_He wrapped me in his arms again, trapping me. This time, I refused to be put down so easily. My temper increased more than it had done in the past few hours, and I fought as if I were an animal. I was glad I could not see myself; it would have been frightening. Mr Todd even swayed under the effort of trying to calm me._

"_Mrs Lovett!" he shouted, turning his head to the door. I did not know nor care who Mrs Lovett was, and simply carried on thrashing and squirming. After a few mere seconds, though, a pair of hurried footsteps came up the stairs outside the barber shop._

"_What is it, luv?"_

"_Take her legs." My eyes widened._

"_No! Get off me!"_

"_Luv, do yeh really think that's the best thing to-"_

"_Just do it, Mrs Lovett."_

_I kicked out my legs when the strange woman tried to grab them._

"_Leave me alone! Get off!" Sadly, this woman seemed strong compared to her slender form, and finally managed to take hold of my legs, lifting them so I was at the mercy of the two._

"_Where did yeh want to put 'er, Mr T?"_

"_We'll take her down to one of your rooms." Their grip was so firm on me that I was glad my screams of disgust were hiding my whimpers of terror and ache. I didn't care where the room might be. All I knew was that I didn't want to go there, and there was no chance of escaping it._


	4. Sweeney 2

I tried not to look at the screaming figure in my arms, and instead concentrated on not tripping as I walked down the steps backwards. I could see Mrs Lovett was sweating slightly with the effort of keeping Johanna still, but it was no use. She was small, but Johanna fought strongly. I could see something behind her screams, though. There was a slight whimper in the back of her throat, as if she were in pain. No doubt she was. I suddenly realised how tightly my arms were gripped around her as we carried her, and the shock of it almost caused me to drop her.

In no time at all, we were inside the pie shop. I didn't like to go in there, usually. It was almost strange to see the difference that a few corpses had made to the riches. I wrinkled my nose at the sight. Johanna was still fighting us, but her efforts were slightly more feeble, making it easy enough to open the nearest door I could find past Mrs Lovett's parlour. I didn't bother asking which room to put her in, and simply let go of her in that nearest room.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, barely audible to myself. Yet Johanna seemed to hear it. Her eyes widened.

"You can't just leave me in here!"

"We'll speak again tomorrow."

"No-" I didn't allow her to finish her sentence, and closed the door behind me and Mrs Lovett. She handed me the key and I hastily locked the door. After mere moments, Johanna's fists were banging against the door.

"Let me out!"

"You'll stay in there until I say so."

"You can't do this to me!"

"I'm your father and I'll do as I see fit."

"You're not my father," she screeched at me, her banging stopping suddenly and her voice higher than it had been before. "You're not my father! You're not my father!" She repeated herself mindlessly, on and on until I couldn't take it any more. I pushed a wary Mrs Lovett out of my way and charged from the parlour, directing myself back to the barber shop.

"Wait, love-"

"She needs time to calm down."

"I ain't denying that, but yeh've gotta by a bit more sensitive in this kinda situation."

"I've tried explaining, but she isn't listening."

"I 'eard yehr explaining, Mr T, and I've gotta say, yeh ain't that calm yehself." I turned sharply, glaring at Mrs Lovett's exasperated face. Her cheeks flushed, and her eyes were sparkling with vexation. I paused, my face dropping from anger to a more subtle tone of regret.

"There's still no chance she's getting out of there today."

"Never said that, now, did I, Mr T? I just think yeh need to be more careful with 'er. She's 'ad a lot to deal with."

"And I haven't?" I snapped back.

"Yeh're making assumptions again, Mr T. If yeh'd listen to me carefully for a little bit, then maybe yeh'd understand."

"There's no need for that, Mrs Lovett," I said coldly, turning back to the door. "She's my daughter. Of course I'm treating her as kindly as I would Lucy, and as kindly as I ever would have treated her had this never happened."

"I'm not denying that either, Mr T, but yeh've gotta understand that yeh kindest ain't what it used to be." I bared my teeth threateningly, and was dissatisfied when she simply sighed.

"Don't yeh start taking it out on me, Mr T." She folded her arms, staring me down. In that moment, I became slightly calmer, but not by very much. The only thing that changed for me was that I no longer felt the need to leave the room, and surrendered myself to one of the booths by the window.

"You got any gin?" I asked gruffly, not looking her in the eye. There was a hurried clatter of glasses, and before I knew it the glass was in front of me. I downed it in one.

"Yeh should take it easy," she said thoughtfully. "Drinking ain't gonna make yeh any more the father figure to 'er."

"I know," I replied dully, pushing the glass away from me. I slumped forward, covering my face in my arms. Mrs Lovett did not move from where she was, even as I sighed heavily. It was strange. She usually would have made much more of a fuss. Of course, it had always annoyed me, but without it, I felt as if I were…alone. Fifteen years of my life had been wasted in solitude, and when I came back to London, yet again I was alone. But somehow, having Mrs Lovett- as annoying, loud and provocative as she was- there to attempt to comfort me, I was more…approachable. That was not to say I liked her in any way, nor that I ever should have with anyone else but my daughter. Yet while my daughter ran from me and screamed as if in pain, I needed at least that one person to take comfort in soothing me.

"Mrs Lovett?" I said brusquely. "You've suddenly become quiet." She turned from me for a little while, not speaking as she began towelling some of her glasses.

"Yeh need some peace," she said finally.

"Never bothered you before."

"It bothers me now."

"Why?" She looked at me, her face much more composed than it had been before. She smiled slightly.

"Mr T, yeh're looking far too deeply into this."

"I'm not," I mumbled, suddenly realising how childish I sounded and then slumping back into my arms. Mrs Lovett sighed, stepping from behind the counter back towards me.

"There, there, love. There ain't nothing to worry about. She'll come round."

"Mrs Lovett, for the past few weeks, the only company you have had apart from myself is that lad Toby, and even he adored you from the start."

Suddenly, her eyes widened.

"Toby?"

"Yeah. Course, that was then, this is now." Mrs Lovett lowered her head slightly, staring down at the floor. She breathed in deeply.

"Mr T, we never found 'im, did we?"

"What are you talking about? Of course we-" Then I remembered.

"I'm sorry, love," she said quietly, looking at my now detesting face.

"He's gone, then."

"I really am sorry, love, but-"

"No, you're not!" I banged a fist onto the table, standing up abruptly and staring her in the face. "You loved that boy, and without me being there you wouldn't have even tried to find him."

"Yeh know I would, Mr T. I'd 'ave done it for yeh." My hand shot out and grabbed her neck, pushing until her back hit a wall.

"And you never told me?"

"Mr T, yeh were busy with Johanna. I wasn't going to disturb yeh." My hand tightened for a second, then relaxed. It only rested for a second on her neck, and then I walked away.

"You burned the bodies?"

"Yes."

"And their clothing."

"The beadle and Judge were burned with that as well."

"There was an old beggar woman as well. Did you burn her too?" A slight pause.

"Yes. 'er as well."

"Good. And I want you to make sure everything else is burned. The bones, any fingers, toes, whatever is left. I'll help you clean it tomorrow." There was silence for what could have been seconds, or minutes, or hours. However long it was, I grew impatient. I snapped at her:

"Then what are you waiting for?" As if she had been poked with a hot iron rod, she jumped and ran from the room, mumbling her apologies. The moment she had left the room, I banged my fist against the table again. The vibrations cause one of the chairs to fall, but I was past caring. I suddenly realised that there was silence. Which meant that Johanna had calmed herself finally.

I made my way towards to the door that she waited behind. I knocked gently.

"Johanna?"

A whimpering sniffle.

"I can have Mrs Lovett make you a pie if you're-" I suddenly stopped. The only meat stocked in the building was human. I shook my head. "I could go and get you something from the bakers, if you like."

Again, there was only a whimper.

"Or…or I could go and get you some water. You must be thirsty."

"Go away." The voice was so quiet that I had barely heard it, but understood it well.

"Just…bang on the door again when you want something."

Again, there was more silence. I sighed lowly, and walked back to my apartment above the shop.


	5. Johanna 3

"Just…bang on the door again when you want something."

Those were the last words I heard from him as he started to walk away from the door. I sat in the corner of the bedroom I had been placed in, trembling. I had finished my tears for this day, and my throat was too sore to allow me to shout out again. My fear was all I had left.

What did this man want with me? Was he starting this father story up to fulfil some sick fantasy he had in store for me? Or did he really and honestly think he was my father? Either way, I couldn't stand the idea. I was through with the idea of someone I could call 'papa'. Judge Turpin had set me straight on that. I didn't need this man to tell me lies. I just needed him to tell me what was to become of me, with a straight face and a look in the eye.

I looked about the room, almost waiting for an escape route to appear in front of me. I had banged the door for so long that if it was going to give way, it would have. The window was an obvious choice after that, but it had already been padlocked. I groaned in disappointment at the fact, slumping against the wall. Air was becoming a more thick substance to inhale at this point, making the whole breathing fiasco rather pointless. Either way, I wasn't going to be able to stay awake much longer. Spots soon started appearing in front of my eyes, signalling the oncoming darkness.

I almost welcomed it.

But I couldn't.

I wasn't going to let this happen. I still had so much I needed to do. I was still curious about this Mr Todd, or this Benjamin Barker. I wanted to know what it was he had to say, whenever he could manage to spit it out. I still wanted to know what was to become of me. I still wanted to know whether I would see Anthony again.

My breath came out raspy and heavy, but it was still there. The dots started to disappear, and I could breathe. I released myself from the heavy jacket I had been given by Anthony, shaking it off my shoulders. It made the process of breathing much easier.

All of a sudden, my thirst became more apparent than I had first thought. It must have been at least an hour since the man had told me to simply knock my door and he would bring me what I desired. Of course, I assumed it was not anything I desired. I desired Anthony, my freedom, the cottage by the sea Anthony had promised me. No, anything meant food and drink.

I sucked in my cheeks, trying to soothe the burning sensation in my throat. I had not eaten nor drunk since I had been in Fogg's Asylum. It seemed so long ago. With much hesitation, I began to crawl towards the door, and knocked feebly on it. I waited, realising that I had been much quieter than I had intended. Before I had the chance to knock again, though, there came his voice.

"Yes?"

"I-I-I'm thirsty," I rasped, my voice not even a whisper. Yet somehow, he managed to hear me. There was a split second's silence before there was a clatter of footsteps and the movement of a distant glass. I backed away from the door as the footsteps approached again, the person who the footsteps belonged to soon opening the door. He closed it quickly behind him, afraid almost that I was fast enough to dart from the room in that second spare. The idea was laughable, if I were not too weak to do it.

"Drink this," he said huskily, putting down a tray in front of me holding a wrapped package and a glass of wine. I had hoped for water, but I was not one to complain. Without needing his demand, I reached out for the glass greedily and drunk deeply from the cup. I did not look at Mr Todd, but could see his features in my mind. I was surprised to sense a concern in the room. Before I had finished the glass, he placed his hand on mine, directing the cup away from my lips.

"Be careful. You'll make yourself dizzy at your age." I raised my chin indignantly.

"That's my own business and none of yours."

"It is while you're under this roof."

"Under your command," I muttered placing the glass back on the tray. He sighed, and pushed the wrapped package in front of me.

"Mrs Lovett dashed out and bought you this earlier. It's a veal pie." I started to unwrap it, and was quick to eat it.

"Anthony told me Mrs Lovett was renowned for her own pies, so why would she bother leaving here?" I asked before I took the first bite.

"She was out," he said hastily, and almost too smoothly. "The last batch went off, so she burnt them."

"That would explain the smell," I commented lightly, sniffing the air. "I would have guessed those pies were off." He made a slight sound out of his nose, as if he were laughing. I looked away from him, carrying on with the pie. It was surprising how hungry I had actually become over the last little while. At most I had spent 24 hours without food, and I had done so before.

"The Judge's items are going for sale tonight," he said abruptly when I had finished my pie and took the last drops of my wine. "What do you need?"

I put down my glass again, but did not look up. For a moment, I thought. I never once contemplated about my old things. Then I suddenly realised the one thing I would forever have regretted losing, had Anthony taken me away.

"My reticule," I said quickly. "In my room, there will be a pink reticule with a golden floral pattern."

Mr Todd stiffened, staring at me.

"Your…your mother's reticule?"

"Well, yes, actually. But, how did you-"

"I bought it for her," he said softly, no longer looking at me, but instead at something farther off. "Just before you were born."

He seemed sincere in what he said, but I was not to be fooled.

"That little story isn't going to make me change my mind. Anyone could have bought it for her."

Mr Todd looked as if he were going to say something, but then shook his head.

"I'll get you your dresses as well, then," he added, taking the tray that I had finished with. Without another word, he left the room. I waited to hear the click of the lock…but it did not come. I watched the door for a few minutes, waiting for the eventual click as Mr Todd realised he had not locked it.

That few minutes passed.

Tentatively, I started to crawl towards the door. My hand reached up to the handle, and turned. The handle at least moved, but it was a few more minutes after that before I could find the courage to actually pull the door.

No one was in sight.

I slowly started to drag myself to my feet and sidled out of the room, into the small parlour I assumed belonged to this Mrs Lovett I had heard about. It was almost as gaudy as my bedroom at Judge Turpin's house had been, but a more blue version. I looked around me, and noticed a slight burn mark on the wall paper next to the door I had just come out of.

My eyes started to blur slightly with the change of scenery. I delicately lay my fingers upon an armchair, stroking the slightly worn material. I could see the padding was coming out of it in some places. I was so entranced in this new scene that I did not notice the soft padding of feet from behind me.

"Yeh'll be Johanna, ain't yeh?"

I turned abruptly to see that strange, pale woman again. The one who had taken my legs and guided me down here. With a yelp, I jumped so unexpectedly that I even ended up tripping over the coffee table that stood just behind me.

The woman had her hand offered to me in absolutely no time. I stared at it much like I had Mr Todd's, but took it graciously this time.

"I'm sorry, you just took me by surprise."

"No need to fret, dear. Nothing broke, it's alright." Again, there was silence. I barely knew this woman, and yet there were no questions running through my mind what sort of person she was. She was a born mother. Of course, I was not interested in her for myself, but it was simply the air around her that screamed out for a child to hold.

"I'd like to thank you for the pie earlier."

"That's alright, love. Yeh'd gone a good day from what I've 'eard without food and Lord knows 'ow long since yeh last proper meal." A small smile came to my lips, and at about the same moment my wandering eyes turned to the open door to the little pie shop. Mrs Lovett noticed this, and looked in the same direction. She chuckled.

"I wouldn't bother, love. Mr T made very well sure we were both prisoners in 'ere for the next few 'ours."

I did not make a reply to this, and instead I sat down on a battered sofa. Mrs Lovett moved to sit opposite me, taking out a book that sat on the coffee table- and fortunately had not fallen- to start reading. I stared at her for a few minutes, taking in every feature, then sighed tiredly, leaning back into my chair. She looked up, smiling.

"Beg me manners, love. Do yeh want a drink of something?" At this, I sat up a little straighter.

"If you don't mind some water, ma'am. Mr Todd only gave me wine before." She tutted slightly.

"Silly thing, really. Then again, 'e ain't drunk from what I know for the past while. Might think it's quenching." I kept my head low until the glass was given to me, at which I snatched it and drank as quickly as I could, almost afraid that it would be taken from me again. Mrs Lovett simply chuckled.

"Yeh must 'ave been thirsty."

"The water from Fogg's Asylum wasn't very nice, or in large supply, and I don't suppose I've drunk well since then." I froze slightly, noticing her calm face. "Anthony did tell you about…that place?"

"Of course, love. Anthony always kept us up to date." I smiled half-heartedly, then lowered my head again. The idea of listening to the story was more painful than I had first thought. Mrs Lovett sucked in her breath.

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't-"

"When am I going to see him again, Mrs Lovett?" It was the first time I had used her name, but the fact went unnoticed. She did not answer my question, but instead moved to sit by my side.

"Well, Mrs Lovett?"

"Yeh've gotta understand yeh father wants what's best for yeh." I shifted slightly.

"He's not my father."

"Love, in all fairness, 'ow much do yeh really believe that?"

"He's not my father," I repeated firmly. "But you're straying from the question."

"I don't think I should be the one to tell yeh anything, love. I'm just 'ere for water and such."

"But…but you have to know whether I'll see him again."

"I don't-"

"Please," I said fervently, turning to her and placing my hands on her forearms as firmly as I could. "Please, I don't need the truth. Lie to me if you must. I just…I just need that hope, Mrs Lovett."

Mrs Lovett's eyes did not water, but they showed the emotion that would often lead to tears. I dared not cry, for if I had, I feared I should faint from exhaustion. I did not want to be locked away in that room for such a petty thing such as that.

"Well," she said hoarsely, yet a smile on her face. "We'll have to wait and see, won't we? Mr T'll become more lenient soon enough. Yeh'll see yehr Anthony soon enough, with a little patience." I nodded solemnly, and without even thinking lent my head on her shoulder.

"Thank you, Mrs Lovett," I said quietly, not even looking at her through my eyelashes. I was glad, though, that she felt it appropriate to hold me.

"Nothing to it, love." I smiled to myself, and closed my eyes. At least, if I was to be stuck in this house for so long, I would have someone I may speak to.


	6. Sweeney 3

I walked through the vapid streets of London towards Fleet Street. The trunk I carried was not as heavy as I had expected, and the twittering bird I had in the other hand was starting annoy me exceptionally.

Imagine my surprise when I arrived back to Mrs Lovett's shop. She wasn't in her usual place behind the bar, nor sitting at one of the tables. I went to see if she were in the bake house, and stopped abruptly when I got to her parlour. There she sat, with my daughter in her arms. I did not know whether I should have been elated or furious.

For a few minutes, I stayed silent. Mrs Lovett did not know I had appeared yet, and I was almost sure Johanna was sleeping soundly. After a small while, I cleared my throat, dropping the trunk I held gently onto the floor. Mrs Lovett's head snapped round to look at me, a smile on her face.

"'ello, there, love."

Johanna also became alert. She turned around to look at me, her face suddenly frightened. That look burrowed through my breast and pierced my heart, but I tried not to let it show. I had had fifteen years practise. I raised the arm that held the bird.

"Your cleaning maid told me to give you this when she found out I was the one looking after you."

Within moments, she was kneeling down in front of me, her head level with the cage. Her smile was small, but it was most definitely there. I wished dearly that it was directed at me, but it was instead directed at the little green finch. She then turned to me expectantly, her hand reaching out. I gave her the cage, and was content with the nod I received from such a simple service.

"Yeh did something right there, then," Mrs Lovett murmured, having sidled up to me while this was taking place. I shook my head.

"If I'd done something right, she would have smiled at me rather than the bird."

"She 'asn't seen it Lord knows 'ow long."

"She hasn't seen me in fifteen years," I muttered. A hand lay gently on my shoulder, until I looked at her through the corner of my eye, whereupon she quickly retracted it.

"Johanna's young, love. She'll learn." I sighed lowly, looking at my daughter crouching on the floor, staring at her bird. My lip twitched slightly, yet barely noticeably.

"So," Mrs Lovett said cheerfully, clapping her hands. "Which room are yeh staying in, love?"

I spun around quickly, my face furious. Wasn't it obvious?

"Johanna's staying in my flat." Immediately, Johanna looked up at me.

"There's only one bed," she said, her lips trembling. I shook my head.

"I don't sleep."

"But, you must-"

"I don't sleep," I repeated firmly. She swallowed bravely, and nodded. She took the handle of her bird cage and stood, lowering her chin until it pressed against her breast. Clearing my throat, I took the trunk and put my spare hand on the back of her neck gently. Johanna shuddered clearly, but I ignored it.

"Come, then. It's late." I cringed at my own words. Words I should have been able to say ten years ago, rather than when she was sixteen. I guided her back up to the shop, dropping her trunk on the small bed.

"It's not exactly glamorous, but it'll do," I said, remembering the silken sheets the Judge had given her. She nodded solemnly, looking around her.

"Where will she go?" she asked quietly. It took me a moment to realise she was talking about the bird.

"I'll hang the cage tomorrow." She nodded again, and then became quiet. For a moment, I looked at her, still in awe of the fact that I had managed to bring her to the room quietly. I cleared my throat.

"I'll leave you to change, then."

As she changed, I waited outside the door, leaning over the barrier around the platform. The night was cool, the breeze bitter yet soft. London was still, give or take a few lonely couples around. I was alert, looking around for specific people. I even looked for those I had murdered, but soon enough sense came to me. No, there was only one person I needed to look for.

Anthony.

Even as I entered the flat again, I looked over my shoulder, as if he were following me at that point. I shook the thought from my head, and nodded towards Johanna as I entered. She already sat on the edge of the bed, her knees tucked under her chin. Johanna looked up at me when I entered, then lowered her head again dejectedly.

"There's water in that jug," I said, nodding my head towards the desk. "I'll be locking the door when I leave."

Johanna's head snapped back up again, her eyes wide.

"You mean…you're not-"

"No," I said firmly. For a moment, my heart had leapt, until I saw the small smile on her lips. I turned to the door.

"Then I'll come back at ten o'clock tomorrow morning."

"But, shall I be able to leave the house then?" I stopped, my hand resting on the door handle. The idea went through me head. I shook my head.

"No."

"But, I haven't-"

"I won't risk that so soon, Johanna."

With that, I left her, securely locking the door behind me. I groaned lowly, cursing myself for the blunt words that had just come out of my mouth. For once, I believed Mrs Lovett to be right. My gentlest wasn't what it used to be when I was Benjamin Barker. After that light pause, I moved along back to Mrs Lovett's shop.

"Is she sleeping, Mr T?" asked Mrs Lovett the moment we were together in the same room.

"Perhaps. I wouldn't know." She clucked her tongue and tilted her head sympathetically.

"Like I said, love. She'll come around."

"I did not say she was angry with me," I snapped.

"I just assumed, love."

"Mrs Lovett, that isn't your best trait. Don't assume." She wrinkled her nose.

"If yeh're gonna act civil in front of yeh own daughter, yeh might as well practise with me, Mr T." I shook my head.

"The logic isn't at it's best either, Mrs Lovett."

"All I'm saying is-"

"Don't."

She sighed, and immediately took out two glasses and poured gin into them. I quickly grabbed the one with the most clear liquid, tipping it down my throat as rapidly as possible. Mrs Lovett raised an eyebrow.

"Yeh not taking it too well?"

"Another one, Mrs Lovett," I said roughly, raising the glass. She nodded lightly and filled it obligingly, only to have that light air knocked out of her when I took the whole glass in one mouthful again.

"Listen, love, yeh can't beat yehself up about this."

I swirled the last drop of the gin around the bottom of my glass, watching it out of purely the lack of anything else to watch. Mrs Lovett sighed and snatched the glass from my hand. I glared at her as she placed the glass in the sink behind her bar, then turned to look at me.

"I'm not beating myself over anything."

"Well, I just-"

"Assumed?" She swallowed thickly, and nodded. I looked over her features, seeing terror. I suppose it was easy enough to inspire it, but I sighed and shook my head.

"You should go to bed, Mrs Lovett." She nodded frantically, and scurried towards her parlour quickly, not even asking if I needed anything. I helped myself to another drink, sneering.

"Pathetic," I muttered, taking another gulp.


	7. Johanna 4

I rocked myself gently as I sat on top of the sheets. I could hear muttering from downstairs, but none of them made any sense. The idea came to my head to run at this point, but after several times of thinking this, I realised Mr Todd had locked the door. It wasn't that strong, though. Maybe, if I ran at it fast enough, I could have broken it down…

No.

I had not been brought up to work. If I had, my pitiful fights would have had more passion in them. I cursed myself, wishing that I had just asked to do more at Judge Turpin's house, just for this moment of needed energy.

My fatigue started to take hold of me, and soon enough my head dropped heavily onto the pillow that was set out before me. The night was dreamless, which vexed me dearly. If I dreamed, I was more prone to nightmares. If I had a nightmare, I wouldn't have been able to sleep, and I should think I would have felt much better knowing I could watch out for Mr Todd. Despite his reassurances, I did not feel at all better about him being in the same room- nay, the same building- as I slept.

When I awoke, the large window that took up the wall at the foot of my bed let in a thick stream of light. I blinked twice, trying to get used to the strange sun. If any time Judge Turpin had taken me down the way of Fleet Street, it had always been filled with a terrible smog. Now, it was almost as if summer had arrived again. Which was preposterous. It was autumn.

I listened quietly to the sound of the streets. There was something missing. There was only one bird I could hear. The one in the room I had slept in. I sighed, closing my eyes again. If I concentrated hard enough, maybe I could hear another bird.

There was nothing.

Except footsteps.

Soon enough, there was a clicking sound at the door, and it swung open. I quickly pressed my chin against my breast and embraced myself, soothing my eyes as if I were asleep.

"Johanna?" I did not answer, and heard nothing more from Mr Todd. I do not know whether he knew I was awake, but it did not bother me too much. A blanket was placed over me, and with that the footsteps led out of the flat again. When the sound of the lock echoed about the walls, I dared to open one eye, seeing everything as it had been before.

I decided it best I should finally attempt to leave the room. I carefully started to dress into one of my dresses- a light cream coloured frock, just to become used to wearing dresses again. Once I had dressed, I paced the floor, wondering how to gain attention.

All of a sudden, the footsteps came up the staircase outside, and in moments the door was open. Mr Todd calmly nodded at me.

"I hope you slept well." I opened my mouth, but then snapped my lips together. There was no real answer to that question.

"Mrs Lovett has some breakfast for you, if you like."

"I'm not hungry," I said quietly.

"She could get you-"

"I'm not thirsty, either." He blinked twice, then nodded.

"At least come downstairs."

I nodded nonchalantly, or as nonchalantly as I could, and walked out of the room as Mr Todd beckoned for me to go first. I don't suppose I could blame him for wanting me to go first. He would want to keep an eye out on me, to make sure his prize didn't run away. Not that it was very likely. I was wearing a dress now, which would slow me down even more than my already pathetic attempts at speed. I also wasn't wearing any shoes, making the idea harder. I don't know why I wasn't wearing shoes. I simply wasn't.

"So yeh're up, love?" Mrs Lovett said to me cheerfully when I entered the pie shop. All of her teeth were bared in the friendly smile. Somehow, though, I did not feel like smiling back.

"I have some business to attend to with the shop. Mrs Lovett will look after you, I'm sure." Mr Todd tilted his head towards her, and Mrs Lovett's smile grew wider- if such were possible.

"Course, love. Yeh know I will." My eyes widened as I noticed something in Mrs Lovett's voice. It wasn't a gentle, mothering tone as she had given me only the night before. No, it was something else. Something more…devoted. I shook my head slightly, and followed Mrs Lovett as she took me towards the parlour.

"We 'ave some books 'ere, if yeh want, love."

I shook my head.

"Well, yeh can look about for some things to entertain yehself."

Again, I shook my head, not wanting to do anything.

"Love, yeh've got to have something yeh wanna do around 'ere." I thought, and then swallowed thickly.

"I…want to go outside." Mrs Lovett's smile dropped, and she bit her lower lip.

"I don't know about that."

"Oh, please, Mrs Lovett. I haven't had any air apart from when I go up and down those stairs. It's not very refreshing sitting about all day. That's all I ever did at Judge Turpin's house, and all I think Mr Todd wants me to do."

"Yeh know that isn't true, love."

"I know it isn't," I said darkly, looking at the floor.

"That's not what I meant! 'e wouldn't-"

"Mrs Lovett, the future will come, and I shall deal with it then. But for now…I just need to go outside."

Mrs Lovett stared at me, and turned from the room. I sighed mournfully, sitting down in the nearest armchair. After a moment, though, she emerged from her room, carrying a shawl and hat, while wearing her own of the two. She pulled me to my feet, thrusting the hat on my head and then tying the laces of the shawl.

"I needed pastry supplies," she said firmly as she tied the laces. "I managed to get yeh reading a cookery book for entertainment, but when I remembered I need to go shopping, I realised I couldn't leave yeh in the shop. Yeh might 'ave ran away, mightn't yeh? I constantly held yeh hand like yeh was a child of ten, and yeh sulked the whole way." She finished with the laces, and placed her hands on my shoulders firmly. "Got that?"

I nodded, a smile on my face.

"Yes, all of it, Mrs Lovett."

"Good."

With that, she grabbed my hand and we were out of the door in seconds. Carefully, we sidled along the walls of the buildings down Fleet Street, until we were sure we could not be seen from the window of the barber shop. I could not believe that I had finally gotten out. I was still under supervision, and I was still going to go back to my prison. Yet, for now, I could breath the air I yearned for.

Mrs Lovett took me to St Dunstan's market. I had heard of it from the beadle, as he often worked around there. I worried slightly that we would be caught, but I knew Mrs Lovett would never dream of selling me off back to that place. Besides, the beadle was not the worry I had had in that house. Yet, after the Judge's death, was it not possible that he was my next concern? Of course not. I had Mr Todd to fret about now.

The marketplace was almost entertaining to me. I had of course been shopping before, and often with an escort. But never once had Judge Turpin allowed me to go somewhere like St Dunstan's. It was thrilling.

We spent a good half hour in the market before Mrs Lovett became worried.

"Yeh fatherly be getting worried by now."

"He isn't my-"

"Yes, yes, of course, love. Either way, 'e'll be getting worried. We should be turning back now." I nodded, but as Mrs Lovett turned, something caught my eye.

"What is it, love?"

"I just…"

I couldn't put it into words. There was someone over on the other side of a large mass of people staring at me. A boy. I squinted slightly, concentrating on him. I couldn't place my finger on it, but there was something about him.

"Johanna, love, get a move on. Mr T's gonna be awfully-" She cut off, seeing the boy too. I watched her face drop, becoming slightly paler.

"Johanna…"

"Wait a moment, Mrs Lovett. I'm…sure I know him. Somewhere…"

Then I knew. I gasped.

"Johanna!" the boy screamed at me. Suddenly, my vision become blurry, and I collapsed to the floor. Mrs Lovett caught my head and prevented it from hitting the floor, and within moments the clatter of Anthony's footsteps were by me.

"What happened?"

"I don't know, she just fell."

"Ma'am, please, she's never been that weak. What's happened to her?"

"I really…dear Lord, Mr T's gonna give me an ear full. Quick, Anthony, can yeh pick 'er up."

"No, I'm taking her with me this sec-"

"Anthony, I 'ave some things back at my 'ouse. She might not even get as far as the docks if yeh're taking 'er." There was a pause in the conversation, and slowly I was lifted up in Anthony's arms. My dizzy head rested against his chest, and my arms wrapped around his neck fiercely.

"A-Anthony?"

"Hush, Johanna. Don't worry, it'll all be alright."

"Oh, Anthony, I-"

"Shush, please. Just rest a little while." I felt as if I had rested far too long. It was all I had done in the past few days. It was a nuisance. I struggled feebly, trying to get to my feet, but Anthony seemed stronger somehow. Soon enough, we arrived at the shop again, and I winced. I knew before that I would return here, but somehow, with my frame in Anthony's arms, it did not seem right. I was softly lain on a sofa chair, and a wet flannel was placed on my forehead.

"Well, at least Mr T doesn't seem to 'ave noticed yeh were out, love."

"What does it concern him?" Anthony said forcefully. Mrs Lovett sighed.

"It ain't all as easy as that."

"But-"

"Stop it," I said feebly, placing my hand on Anthony's arm. His own hand quickly snapped up to hold it.

"I thought I said for you to be quiet," he said softly, a hint of humour in his tone. I smiled, pulling myself closer towards him. I looked up through my eyelashes to see Mrs Lovett's concerned face, yet a soft smile upon her lips.

"Dears, I really can't let yeh-"

"I know," I said quietly, feeling Anthony tense as I said it.

"What do you mean? Of course we can. We could escape now if need be. Mrs Lovett, you'd help us, wouldn't you?"

"Yeh don't know 'ow much I want to see Johanna 'appy, but I can't."

"You-"

"She's right, Anthony," I said, placing a hand on his cheek and turning his face towards me. "We can't. She can't help us. If ever I'm going to leave here, I'll have to do it when Mr Todd's had his-"

"Johanna!" Mrs Lovett intervened my sentence. "Whatever yeh think, Mr T isn't gonna do anything to yeh."

"I can't believe that now, no matter what you say. I just want you to know, Anthony, that I shall leave here soon. I shall just have to be a little bit patient." His teeth were gritted, but he nodded.

"How can I be patient, though?" he asked. "I've been waiting for only two days at most and I'm already going mad."

"It'll be worth it in a few weeks time," I said, kissing his cheek swiftly. "I'm sure of it." I reached to kiss his other cheek, but his lips found mine before I could even move. I ignored Mrs Lovett sitting right beside us. This was the first time in what seemed like years that I had been able to even look at Anthony, and my only wish was to savour each and every second of it.

All of that was soon to end.

Mrs Lovett was the first to jump when there were heavy footsteps coming towards the pie shop.

"Quick, through the back," she said, pulling at Anthony's coat. He winced, clutching my hand firmly.

"Go," I whispered into his ear. "Just…don't leave." He smiled sadly, and nodded, following Mrs Lovett. They disappeared behind one of the doors that led to the bake house. Mr Todd came into the parlour shortly afterwards. The moment he saw me, his countenance became grave- or, at least, graver than usual.

"What's the matter?"

I didn't answer him, but simply looked into his eyes. It was not by fault that I did this. The moment that my gaze flashed by them, I was captured. Almost as if I were swirling through them, into a pit I should never have thought I would return from. In that moment, I knew that I was on the verge of madness.

Mrs Lovett came rushing back from the bake house.

"Oh, there yeh are, Mr T."

"What's happened to her?"

"Nothing, nothing. The 'eat was just getting to 'er, that's all."

I nodded pitifully, and finally broke my gaze from Mr Todd's eyes, looking towards a wall in far off wonderment. I could barely see anything there my mind was in such a mess. I had never imagined losing Anthony for a second time could be such a blow.

I winced simply thinking about it. Mr Todd looked again at me as I did so, but did not say a word. He turned to Mrs Lovett.

"I should return to the shop. There might be a customer." She nodded, and turned the flannel on my forehead. I watched as Mr Todd span on his heel to leave, then could not stand it any more.

"Why are you leaving?"

"As I said, I may have a customer."

"That's not what I mean. Why aren't you staying here with me?" He looked confused for a moment.

"If that is what you want, I can close the shop."

"No, it isn't. But…" I trailed off, my calmness trailing away as well. All that was left now was the pure hatred I felt for him. My voice rose. "But you seemed to have become so obsessed over me I see not fit reason why you should not stay by my side."

"As I said, if you want, I can-"

"I don't! That is not the point I am making, Mr Todd. I want to know why you can become so devoted in many ways to me, and yet ignore me when I have to be soothed by your landlady."

Mr Todd seemed shocked, and then his brow furrowed, his teeth gritting.

"I will stay if you-"

"I don't want you to! Leave me if you must, but tell me first what it is that you plan to feel for me. I see neither devotion nor lust, nor even the slightest fatherly affection. Tell me what it is you feel and be done with me!"

He stared at me for a moment, then waved his hand at me, as if pushing me away. With that, he left, and I saw not a hair of him for the rest of that day.


	8. Sweeney 4

There were no more customers that day. I would wait by the window, almost at the point of praying for someone to distract me- strange for a man who had renounced God many a year ago. As I watched through the window, I saw not a soul who even turned a head towards the barber shop. Once or twice a family would go to the pie shop down below, but none would come to me.

I don't know, though, why I bothered with customers any more. I did not plan to kill them. I had all I needed under this very roof. The world could have it's evil ways outside our walls.

My mind tried to wander away from Johanna's words. It was impossible. For all of these years my mind had only ever been able to concentrate on a single thing. It was physically impossible to think about anything else but what Johanna had said to me. I looked a fair amount of times towards the door, wondering whether I should leave. Each time I simply shook my head, pushing the idea to the back of my mind. Yet only ten minutes after, the thought would have fought its way back to me.

"Excuse me?" A gentle voice said, coming from the doorway. I turned to see a young man waiting there, his hand paused at the door where he had just knocked. "Are you still open?"

"Course, lad. Come for a shave?"

"If you don't mind, sir." I nodded, patting the chair with my hand. "Sit, lad, sit."

He smiled cheerfully, taking off his jacket before sitting down.

"I hope this isn't too short notice. It's my girl's birthday today."

"Your wife?"

"No, my daughter." I froze slightly while mixing the lather.

"Really?"

"Yes," he said almost dreamily. "Cute little thing, really. A year old today."

"Always a…special time."

"Have you any daughters of your own? I could swear that I saw a young girl through the pie shop window down below."

I did not say anything for a moment. Instead, I pondered the idea. The word daughter was still strange to me, and being able to claim I had one was even stranger. There was no use in denying I had a daughter- and no point in it either.

"Yes. Sixteen years old."

"That explains it. Not to sound too forward, sir, but she doesn't look that much like you."

"She was blessed with her mother's charm and appeal."

"The same goes for my daughter. Can't say I saw an ounce of me in her. It's all her mother." He chuckled to himself, leaning his head back as I lathered him. "Ah, yes. My darling little Johanna."

I froze. The man opened his eyes quizzically.

"Is there something the matter?"

"No, not at all. It's just…a lovely name."

"Isn't it just? Thought of it myself."

I finished lathering him, and stared at his face for a moment. There was something strange about this man. Something innocent. Too innocent. Innocent, and oblivious. I suddenly realised what I saw in him.

Me.

This man was Benjamin Barker. Not the exact Benjamin Barker, of course, but the Benjamin Barker I had once been. The seed before the truth of the world was rained down upon me. I could even see the glow I had once possessed in his features. As I began to shave him, my temper rose.

Another Benjamin Barker in the world. That was not what we needed. Innocence was for women. Another Benjamin Barker simply endangered those like my daughter, like my Johanna. Who would protect them if their heads were up on some cloud? It was people like this in front of me, sitting under my razor, who endangered my daughter. An near-growl emitted from my throat. I could sense the same madness that used to run through my head each time I had murdered a man.

"Tell me, lad, do you like…poetry?"

"Poetry, sir?"

"Yes. You might not know, but I compose a little poetry myself."

"Really, sir?"

"Yes. Here's a little one I just thought of…well, right now. Roses are red, and violets are blue. Benjamin Barker is dead…"

Swiftly, my razor blade cut through his throat.

"And so are you."

My hand reached for the lever, almost as if it were a natural instinct, and dropped the dead body down to the bake house.

Finished, but not satisfied, I leaned back in the chair once I had disposed the body. I was panting, attempting to catch my breath desperately. Soon, though, the remembrance of what I had just done came to me.

Despite what I had promise myself- promised Johanna without words- I had just killed a man. A father. An innocent. I leaned forward, placing my head in my hands.

Mrs Lovett did not waste time in coming to find me.

"Mr T, yeh didn't!"

"Excuse me, Mrs Lovett?"

"Yeh said yeh weren't gonna kill anyone any more. Yeh promised me, for Johanna's sake."

"I know, Mrs Lovett. I do realise that."

"Then what the 'ell were yeh thinking!"

I sighed, shaking my head.

"I wasn't, then. I wasn't thinking at all."

"Yeh've gotta be more careful," she said tiredly. "If Johanna found out, yeh'd ruin the whole little family plan."

I nodded slowly. _Her_ little family plan.

"I know Mrs Lovett." She breathed out contentedly.

"About that plan, Mr T…"

"What is it now, Mrs Lovett?"

"Well, I was just thinking yesterday, 'bout Johanna being all down in the dumps and all."

"She'll get over it soon enough."

"That's what I was thinking. Then I said to meself, maybe not soon enough. She might be a little lost for a long while. Yeh know what I think the problem is?"

"If you must say."

She knelt down beside the chair, staring at me with a smile on her lips.

"I think it's that Anthony boy. She's been 'oping 'e'd come and get 'er any time soon, 'asn't she? And yeh know what else? I think I know 'ow we can solve that." My interest started to spark.

"Go on."

"We move," she said bluntly. "We'll go and find that 'ouse by the sea I told yeh about. Johanna'd love it, won't she? It'll keep 'er mind off the sailor boy at least. Better yet, we'll be away from 'ere. 'e might still be 'anging round."

I thought over her words. It was true, Anthony may still be wandering around London, waiting for me to slip my guard. It was bound to make her uneasy. And the truth of the matter was that no matter how much I promised myself, I would not be able to stop my murdering until I was away from society. Yet, how long would it be before I turned on my own daughter?

"I can't do that," I said. "Those were your dreams, Mrs Lovett, not mine."

"But, love, it'd be for the best, wouldn't it? She needs a stable 'ouse, don't she? She needs a caring family. Yeh said this was all for 'er, didn't yeh? If we just…thought about it, at least."

"No, Mrs Lovett. I can't." There was silence about the room, until finally Mrs Lovett stood.

"I understand, love. I'll get rid of that boy downstairs then."

"It's best I do that. I'll only be a few more minutes. Just keep Johanna busy." She nodded, and parted.

I scoffed. What a stupid woman to think that I should marry her. The idea was simply ridiculous.

Once I had finally calmed myself and burnt the body and evidence of blood, I watched over Johanna. She was sleeping soundly on the sofa in Mrs Lovett's parlour, and I dared not disturb her. She had been tortured enough for one day without my making it any worse. It was peaceful to watch her sleep. Johanna did not stir, and barely moved. At first it was frightening, but I knew that becoming frightened of her stillness was rather pathetic myself.

It was almost agreed from that moment that she should not leave Mrs Lovett's home. Maybe it was for the best. After all, I don't think she could sleep with the stench of blood.


	9. Johanna 5

I only realised I had been sleeping when I awoke. I looked about the room, slightly embarrassed that I had fallen asleep right in the middle of Mrs Lovett's parlour. I would have to apologise when I found her. For now, she was nowhere in sight. I sat up slightly, staring towards the door.

Still, no one came for me. It worried me slightly. My mind was so fragile at that moment that I didn't know how anyone could leave me alone. I found it almost frightening. Slowly, my hands wrapped around my frame, embracing myself. The blow had come harder to me throughout the night after Anthony had left me again. The pain became even worse by the hour. I stretched out an arm, watching my hand shake uncontrollably. I sighed shakily watching it.

"Johanna?"

I turned my head, and screamed. I clutched my throat, attempting to stop screaming. It only lasted a split second as I fell to the floor, the shock of what I had seen making me fall off the sofa. Mr Todd rushed towards me, his hands and shirt still covered in blood.

"Johanna? What is it?"

"Y-y-you're covered in-in-" I couldn't finish my sentence. Mr Todd looked at himself, and nodded.

"I was moving some meat for Mrs Lovett. You don't think she can do it, do you?"

I shook my head slowly, not knowing what else to say. His hand reached out to me, attempting to push a stray few hairs from my eyes. I shuddered.

"Wash," I said erratically. "Please, now."

"Yes. Yes, of course." He stood up, looking one last time at me before turning around to the door. I watched him as he left, and shuddered in relief as the door closed. The air suddenly felt dirty to me, and aura refusing to leave my presence.

At that moment, I almost wished I were insane. I could only say I was on the verge, meaning there was nothing to stop me from having a sane conversation and act as if nothing had happened to me. Yet, in a way, I attempted to act mad, hoping that soon enough it would come.

It didn't.

A guilt started to envelope. How dare I wish madness when I had said so firmly that I should meet Anthony again, in a few weeks if things went as I had planned? I had promised him, and sure enough I had meant it as the words came from my lips. It was what I wanted, and what I would strive to. I knew that eventually I would be able to leave this place, whether it be a day or a month.

But I knew it wasn't a day.

Mr Todd did not take long in coming back to me. He had obviously changed his shirt and washed, cleaning away the blood. Yet somehow, I could still smell it. There was almost a stain in the air.

When Mr Todd came into the room, he was almost shocked to see me still sitting on the floor where he had left me. I was shaking wildly, unable to stop it.

"Johanna? Please, you mustn't sit on the floor like that."

I nodded, almost as if agreeing.

"Can you hear me?" he asked warily, kneeling down until our eyes met. Or, at least, his eyes met mine. I still could not concentrate on anything. Again, I nodded. He waved a hand in front of my eyes, but I still could not fully look at it.

"Is it alright to pick you up?"

I shuddered, but nodded. I was lifted up swiftly and sat back down on the sofa. Mr Todd did not sit by me, but instead knelt in front of me, trying to stare into my eyes.

"Johanna?"

I made a non-committal noise.

"Are you sure you can hear me? Can you even see me?"

I nodded.

"Then can you look at me, Johanna?"

Slowly, I shook my head.

"Look at me," he said sternly, placing his hands on my upper arms.

I shook my head again, slightly more agitated in doing so.

"I'm not joking around any more, Johanna. Look at me." I whimpered at the sound of his tense voice, and then all of a sudden felt his arms wrap around me.

"Just tell me what to do. I'll do it."

For a split second, I saw clearly again. My mind composed, allowing me to think. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched this man become a statue as he held me. I could barely see him move as he breathed. It was frightening, and yet…there was something different from the first time he had held me. Than the time he had come towards me when he was covered in Judge Turpin's blood.

I swallowed thickly.

"Can you take me out?"

Mr Todd pulled back, looking at me, an aura around him telling me he was almost glad I looked back at him.

"I don't-"

"Not by myself," I said earnestly. "I will go with you if you want me to be in your sight." A slight smile formed on his lips.

"Yes, yes, of course you can. I had never really thought of it. Where would you like to go?"

"Hyde Park," I said quickly, not even thinking about it. He agreed, patted my shoulder tentatively and whisked away to his flat, telling me he was going to get his coat and my shawl. I did not dare mention that Mrs Lovett's still fit me well. The words almost came to my lips, until I realised I would not be able to leave if he knew I had already disappeared once before.

When he arrived back, Mr Todd placed my shawl on my shoulders silently, not even talking as he took my hand to leave the shop. The hand felt cold, but not as cold as I had first imagined it. It was almost as if I were getting used to it, rather than growing to like it. I was still repulsed, and I still wished to scream and run away. I still kept enough sanity to be able to handle the idea, though.

Hyde Park was exactly as I remembered it when we arrived. Judge Turpin used to take me almost daily when I was much younger. The moment I had turned fourteen, though, he seemed to find I was too old to play about in the park. That was the point at which I was locked away in my room.

A careful eye was always placed upon me, and whenever a boy with dirty blonde hair walked by, Mr Todd's hand would always tighten. I knew he would be frightened to lose me, but my hand started to hurt slightly.

"Mr Todd…if I stay in your sight, may I please walk without your hand on mine?" He bit his lower lip briefly, then nodded.

"Don't stray."

I didn't say another word, and instead clutched my own hand. It would be fair to say the grip was tighter than the one that Mr Todd had given me. My eyes did not dare look at him as we walked, and I pondered. Suddenly, I realised something. I did not want to be here. I wanted to be somewhere crowded, just for a little moment.

"Mr Todd?" I said quietly. "There is one more place I wanted to go, if you don't mind."

"Anywhere you want."

"Within reason?"

"Within reason."

"Mrs Lovett told me about St Dunstan's Market. Judge Turpin never let me go to the market with him or the beadle." Mr Todd nodded.

"If you wish."

I did.

The answers I had been looking for seemed all to clear now. What Mr Todd's intentions were. When I was going to leave here. Where I was finally going to go, and how I was going to get there.

We entered the market.

_He wants to own you._

We walked through.

_You're going to finally meet Anthony._

Mr Todd turned his head for a split second in the crowd.

_And you're going to get there now by running._

Before I could even think it, I was running. I did not turn around, but it must have been a good second before Mr Todd noticed. That was all I needed. The crowds did not move, making all the easier to slip through them unnoticed. Finally my slender form became useful as I ran, and I knew very well that Mr Todd's form would not help him at all. I almost smiled as I ran.

I was almost free.

And the suddenly, I was.

I had ran for so long that I didn't even know I had long left St Dunstan's Market. Never once had I looked back, and never once had I listened to who might be shouting me. It would not be long before the police came looking for me, to take me back, but I couldn't let that happen.

Soon enough, the paranoia started to get to me. I felt as if everywhere I went, I was being followed. Constantly, there was a pair of eyes on me. At first, I knew I was simply being silly. I knew there was no one behind me. Then I heard the footsteps, as quick as mine, yet heavy enough to hear. Quickly, I made a sharp turn into the trees of the street I was running on.

A rustling came from behind me, and the person had followed me through the trees. A tear of fear pricked in the corner of my eye. I gritted my teeth, trying to push on. I couldn't. I had been running so far that my inexperienced feet were prepared to trip.

"Please, go away," I groaned, my voice hushed from my panting. The person behind me did not take heed, even if they heard me.

"Stop running," a voice called out to me. The voice following me. "Stay still."

"Get away from me!"

"Not until you-" Abruptly, the person crashed into me from behind, their arms wrapping around me, binding me. We collapsed to the floor, me struggling.

"Let me go! Let me go!"

"Not a chance," said the voice softly, pressing a finger to my lips. I looked up, a shocked smile upon my lips.

"Anthony…"


	10. Sweeney 5

Ferociously, I growled. I did not care I was still in the middle of St Dunstan's Market. The crowds had started to thin finally, yet I can not imagine what I hoped for. It was almost as if I waited for her to come back, running into my arms, laughing cheerfully, as if it had all been a joke.

I could almost see it. Johanna's hair flew behind her as she ran back to me, still uneasy, waiting for my rage. The thing was, I could not be angry. She had come back, and that was all I could hope for.

I waited for this to happen.

It did not happen.

As soon as I realised this, I ran for the police. In my earnest, I did not realise that the man behind the desk was the son of the man who had taken me away from the market place. From Lucy. I was in too much of a hurry to think about it clearly. Even after I had given the details, and finally been persuaded that it was impossible to find Johanna the moment I requested it, I could not think too much about it.

Instead, I could only think of the last time I had lost a dear one through the crowds.

The thought ran through me painfully. In actual fact, it did hurt. A feeling of burning ripped through my stomach. As I stumbled through Fleet Street, I paused, clutching my stomach as I stumbled into a wall. A groan rumbled in my throat, choking me. I staggered further along the road, the roof of my barber shop coming into view. I sighed, the pain worsening because of it.

A figure leant out of the pie shop door.

"Mr T?"

I groaned again, more out of annoyance than the pain I was in.

"Mr T! What on earth 'appened to yeh?"

"Nothing's wrong with me."

"Where's Johanna, then?"

I gasped out loud, the pain ripping through my chest.

"The police are looking for her."

"Oh, Mr T," she said lowly, almost as if I needed to be soothed by her. I did not need to be soothed by her. All I needed was my daughter at my side. Safe, warm and calming. Mrs Lovett's arms wrapped around me, heaving me to my feet to the best of her ability.

"Come on, love, yeh can't expect me to carry yeh about like a baby."

"Then get off me," I growled, shaking her off. She stopped pulling on my, but kept a grip on me.

"Mr T, get a move on, then."

"Leave me be," I snarled, pushing her arms away from me. Her eyes were wide and concerned, but I needn't have wished for it.

As I just said, I didn't need it.

I stumbled as far up the steps as I could to the barber shop, knowing that I was being followed closely.

"I told you to leave me be, Mrs Lovett."

"Look at yeh, Mr T. Stumbling up the stairs like that- it's no wonder I'm concerned."

"I don't need your concern."

"Yeh sure as 'ell could use it."

"No, I-"

"Don't argue with me," she said firmly, pulling at me again. "Yeh're tumbling as it is."

I groaned, but nonetheless allowed her at this point to take me. I was too faint to argue.

"Just sit on the bed there, love. There yeh go, all relaxed now, ain't we?"

"I'm not child, Mrs Lovett. Now leave me be."

"Not until I've seen you get some sleep. Yeh've worn yehself out with worry I'd wager."

She wasn't wrong, but at the same time she had not fully understood me. Yes, I was tired. Yes, I had been worrying since the second I had turned my eyes from my daughter. The daughter I had worked so hard to possess.

No. I didn't need some sleep.

I didn't sleep.

I did, however, fall unconscious at most inconvenient times.

The room had already started to spin, and Mrs Lovett's words became more hushed with the seconds going by. Soon enough, they were gone completely, and instead there was only a deep blackness.

A blackness I knew I could not return from.

I was not falling, nor was I able to stand with my own will. Instead, I could only think.

All I could think of was my murderous rage.

In my unconsciousness, my hand shot out by it's own whim. A loud gasp echoing through the room brought me to my senses.

"Mr T!" My eyes shot open, and my hand almost tightened in grip. I looked about the room, and then at my arm. My hand was wrapped around her throat in a most fierce fashion.

"What happened?" I asked, my hand still not moving away.

"Yeh were dreaming, love," she rasped. She tried to move away my arm, but I barely noticed. It was purely her luck that my hand slipped away listlessly.

"How long?"

"Only about through the night, love."

At this, I wished to growl with anger. I could not have let such time slip me by. But I did not show my anger, and instead looked bleakly ahead of me. Mrs Lovett tenderly smoothed out my hair.

"Don't worry, love. She'll be back before yeh know it."

"How'd you know that?"

"Yeh never thought you'd meet 'er again last time, did yeh?" she said, smiling slightly. "Course we're gonna get 'er back."

"You don't know that," I murmured. "It was pure chance that I got her last time."

"Yeh shouldn't think that way, Mr T."

"It's true." My anger boiled slightly in my chest, but it was weak enough to ignore.

"Like I said, we'll 'ave 'er back soon enough. Trust me." Mrs Lovett turned to the door. As she walked I stared after her.

"Mrs Lovett?"

"Yes, love?" She looked at me earnestly. I still stared at her, but my tone did not seem to deter her smile.

"_I'll_ have her back."

_Sorry that the chapter's so short, but I just wanted to make it clear that Sweeney was ill before I do as long a chapter as I possibly could on Johanna and Anthony's situation as possible. Don't worry, all of your fans! She won't be with him forever…_


	11. Johanna 6

Anthony hastened me to the flat he had rented on the further side of London to Fleet Street. We barely spoke a word as we went, but our hands never left each other, and our lips were constantly in yearn of each other.

The moment we passed the threshold, I was in his arms again. We smiled, the idea never leaving us. I dared not let my lips drop. If I did, there were fears that I should remember all too clearly what I had just escaped from.

"I don't know how you did it," Anthony murmured in my ear, "but I'm glad you did."

"I barely know myself how I did it."

We needn't have even said what we were talking about.

"Where are we?" I queried.

"I knew I'd never get away with being close enough to you, so we're on Baker Street."

"You mean-"

"Two streets down from the Judge's house." I smiled, not even correcting the name.

"What now, then?" Anthony's smile faded slightly.

"I didn't really think about it."

"We must have had a plan before."

"Johanna, I'm afraid I all but remember it."

"I too have lost the ideas we once had. Mr Todd's- or even this Benjamin Barker he spoke of, I am still not clear about- has completely wrecked the plot, and I can not even remember it."

"Who is Benjamin Barker?"

"I know not. Mr Todd seems to have said he has lied to even you about his name."

"He wouldn't."

"How can you do anything but doubt him now?"

Anthony nodded, his face more sullen all of a sudden. I could barely stand it. This was not the way I had dreamed of our reuniting becoming. I had hoped for a smile forever to be between us, and for there never to be another cloud to faze it. I grabbed at Anthony's lapels in earnest, my breath more rapid.

"I can not stand it, Anthony! I waited so long to find you again, and all of a sudden we don't know what to do with each other. What sort of saviour can you be for me if you haven't a clue what to do with me, and what sort of wife may I be if I haven't a clue what to do with you?"

Suddenly, Anthony smiled.

"_Ah, miss! Look at me, look at me, miss, oh look at me, please. Oh, favour me, favour me with your glance._"

He took my chin in between his finger and thumb, pulling it gently to stare up at him.

"_Ah, miss! Soon we'll be, soon we'll be sailing the seas. And happily, happily wed in France._"

"_And we'll sail the world, and see it's wonders,_" I sang, my voice adjoined with his. "_From the pearls of Spain, to the rubies of Tibet._"

"_And then come home to London…"_ My face turned pale at these words, my head shaking.

"No! We shan't step another foot in London if I have my way with it."

"It's our home," he said gently.

"We can make a home in France. I should think we'll be happy enough there." Anthony smiled.

"You're going to be stubborn about this, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't dream it any other way."

He chuckled to himself, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Then we shall be wed the moment we arrive in France. We shall leave tomorrow."

"No," I said firmly. "Leaving does not matter to me, as long as we don't return. But we must be wed as soon as possible."

"Why the rush?"

"As long as we are married, and I belong to you, I can not be taken by any man who claims me without the marriage certificate." He nodded slowly.

"We can only hope."

"If you hope enough, it has to come true. It worked for me."

He smiled again, cupping my cheek in his hand. It was surprisingly warm, and I buried my nose against it, inhaling the scent.

"How about tonight?"

I looked up immediately.

"Tonight?"

"Why not? What else may we do through the night? I shan't be able to bear simply knowing you are with me without that being verified by the church."

"I don't think the church would look very kindly on the situation," I said sadly.

"Then we are simply to be wed, with no questions asked."

My smile started to brighten, and my arms flung themselves around his neck.

"Of course! Yes, tonight! We shall go this very second!"

"And not a moment less," he said intently, pulling my arm and taking me through the door again. I don't even remember if he locked the door he was that excited. I did not remember until later on either. I barely cared that my skirt was still muddy from the fall when Anthony found me. My smile still shone on, and my eyes never left Anthony.

It would only be another hour before I would be able to call him my husband.

The little church nearby did not seem at all suspicious at first of us. Perhaps it was because I did not even look at the priest as he gave the ceremony, or even before when Anthony spoke to him, trying to find us ten minutes for the wedding. I could not take my eyes off him while he spoke.

Our ceremony was short. I only noticed it had finished when I finally said 'I do'. Anthony's lips pressed against mine, and it was all over.

"How…" I could not finished my sentence, even after we had left the church.

"What is it, Johanna?"

"I barely understand it."

"There is nothing more for you to understand," he said soothingly, wrapping his arms around me. "We are married. We have nothing but each other, and that's the best of it. Soon enough, we shall be gone from London, and shall never return. As you wish."

I leaned my head against his breast, thinking.

"Maybe…maybe we don't have to leave tomorrow."

"Why not? You wanted it."

"I do. And I never want to return. But I know that you would do that for me, and I know how much you love London. It's more of a home for you than it ever was for me."

"So?"

"So I want you to take in the atmosphere as much as you can. I know it sounds selfish of me to forbid us returning, but I can not help it. After leaving, I may never return lest I should go mad, lest the memories come rushing back to me. I can live with them for another week. Until then, you shall enjoy your last time here."

There was silence between us for a moment. All of a sudden, Anthony span me round, whooping with joy.

"Johanna, my pretty little Johanna! Not only have I married the most handsome girl in England but also the sweetest."

"I'm sure you'll find a better woman than me," I said, laughing.

"Then be sure I don't find her, for the idea is impossible enough to entice me."

"You are far too late," I said seductively, bringing my face close to his. "You are mine now."

He smiled again, pulling me closer to him as well.

"Now where's the fun in that? I've had finally an objective for the past few months and you've ruined it by loving me back."

"You're bored already?"

"Anything but bored. Simply…without anything to do. Unless…"

"Unless what?"

His smile became more coy as he pressed his lips upon mine, running his fingers through my hair. I beamed.

"Oh…"


	12. Sweeney 6

"It's only been a week, love."

I batted Mrs Lovett away, unable to properly argue with her.

"Yeh've gotta 'ave a bit of patience, Mr T. The police are doing their best."

"Not good enough," I mumbled. Mrs Lovett sighed, patting my shoulder. I was defenceless against her little pats and embraces. I could not help that she was enjoying my illness and suffering.

"Sure enough she'll be 'ere by the end of the week."

"You're repeating yourself."

"That's because I know what I'm talking about, love."

I did not bother with a reply. I tried to push her away, but my arms had no strength left in them. I could not count how many times I had, in the past seven days, I had looked at my arms in a vain attempt to summon their strength.

"Suppose Yeh'll be 'ungry, won't yeh love?"

"No."

"Yeh need to build up your strength."

"I did well enough without nourishment before even Johanna. I'll survive now."

Mrs Lovett tutted, stroking my hair back from my forehead. It irritated me extremely. Why must she treat me as hers? She knew very well the idea was ludicrous. Or, at least, I myself had made the message clear more than enough times.

She left me for a brief second- one that I absorbed gratefully- and returned soon enough with a bowl of soup and a pie. I turned my nose up.

"You honestly think I'm going to eat that?"

"Yeh need nourishing dear."

"I killed that for you, Mrs Lovett."

She nodded slowly.

"Ah. Never thought of that."

"Of course you didn't."

She smiled still, picking up a spoon from the tray she had carried and trying to feed me. I turned my cheek, closing my eyes.

"Leave me be, woman. I can't stand you pestering me."

"If I didn't pester yeh yeh'd get no better."

"I beg to differ," I said curtly.

Mrs Lovett only chuckled, oblivious to my annoyance. I clenched my fists.

"Must I tell you even one more time?"

"I'm sure yeh will, love."

"Then leave-"

With that, the spoon was thrust into my mouth. I hadn't the reflex action- something that had left me pitifully long ago to defy pain- to gag and splutter, so instead calmly pushed the arm aside. At least, by calm, I mean that I was in control of doing so. I was in a literal sense livid.

"I have told you, Mrs Lovett. Leave me be and do not return until I call upon you!"

The woman blinked twice, as if finally understanding me. Her brow furrowed slightly.

"If that's what yeh want, Mr T."

I growled lowly, making my point known. She left me be finally, yet leaving the supper tray she had brought me sitting on the desk. I looked towards it. Better yet, I looked at the picture that sat beside it. I took comfort in knowing that my Lucy was still looking at me. Soon enough, my Johanna would be too. I knew that all of Mrs Lovett's petty comforts were based on hr own imagination of a happier place, but I could not help but pray that they would become true.

I groaned, leaning up as much as I could in the bed I had been retired to. I pushed the sheets away, swinging my feet off the bed and onto the floor. My hand reached out for the walking stick that Mrs Lovett had placed by my bedside, in case my annoyance drove me to walking. It was a shame I had not before this realised it was there, for it should have made a marvellous weapon.

Leaning against the stick for support, I moved towards the desk, then picking up the photo frame holding my wife. If I could have done so, a small smile would have broken upon my lips, but however much I tried it would not happen. I tried to squeeze a tear for my deceased beloved, but no matter how much I wished for it it would not happen. With a groan of dismay, I placed the frame back onto the desk.

The sun was setting, and I looked out of the large window as the sky started to bleed a deep, bloody red. It almost reminded me of the satisfaction I had after murdering a man. Yet simply watching this sunset did not soothe my cravings for blood at all.

Faint tapping came from downstairs, which I assumed were simply footsteps. I clenched my fist around the walking stick handle, gritting my teeth. The rhythmic tapping was enough to make me enraged. I deeply took breath, letting it slip back through my lips in an almost low whistle.

"It'll do you no good," I said to myself, my voice hoarse and quiet. "Calm yourself. Man may not die until you are well again."

My lips turned up in a cruel grin. Of course. If the Lord was ill, he would never be able to create those who deserved it. If a demon were ill, those that deserved it would never die. I had no choice but to stay as calm and composed as I could possibly manage.

No matter how pure I had been before, I could not allow a world of Benjamin Barkers.

Even worse to allow a world of Judge Turpins.

I looked briefly at the bowl of soup Mrs Lovett had left. I did not even bother looking at the pie.

I wondered how long it had been since I had last eaten. It was obvious I had never thought of the idea since I had returned to London, and I had not even taken a crumb while I was on the ship with Anthony. Australia's prison was not very trustworthy with its food- so I had learnt after a few years.

Anger rose in me again. How dare I be so weak to wish for such petty things like food after such proof that I could survive? No, it was not that I wished for the soup. It was a curiosity. A young child will often take a stick of carrot without need of a parent's coercing, simply because he is curious. I was no child, and this was no bowl of carrots, but the same principles applied.

Slowly, my hand reached out to the spoon, dipping it into the bowl. Once full, I raised it to my eye level. It was a curious thing. I had concentrated in the past few seconds on the idea of eating, and yet I had never seen a simple thing like cutlery up close since so long ago either. Even in the prison we were told to eat with our hands- a hard thing to do with watery porridge and soup, which was almost frozen.

Closing my eyes calmly, I put the spoon to my mouth, and let the warm liquid flow down my throat. There was a moment in which I was soothed slightly, not knowing quite what to think.

Suddenly, I grabbed my throat, the spoon clattering to the floor. I choked on the substance for a moment, and then started gasping for breath.

.

"Mrs- Lovett!" I hollered, my voice harsh and husky. It was a matter of time before she came running up the steps.

"What's the matter, love? Yeh called?"

My breath came haggardly.

"Love? What's the matter with yeh?"

She tentatively moved towards me, a wary countenance upon her due to my state. I leant over my desk, shuddering. The moment she was within my grasp, though, my hand flew at her neck.

"What did you put in that soup?"

"The soup? Nothing, love. It's only vegetables and water, I swear."

"You're lying to me!" My hand tightened, causing a gasp to escape from her.

"I wouldn't, Mr T. Yeh know me well enough, don't yeh?"

Her eyes almost pleaded with me, but it only raised my anger. I felt as if my stomach was caving in on itself, eating away at me. I couldn't stand it. With a groan, my knees started to quake beneath me. My hand slipped from her throat, causing me to fall to the floor.

"Mr T!"

"You've- done- this- to- me!"

She shook her head fiercely, enough so it must by all physical laws have broken.

"No, love, I'd never- yeh know I'd never. Now stop all this nonsense and let me 'elp yeh up."

A pathetic growl released from my throat, but Mrs Lovett took no notice and started to heave me up again to the best of her ability. It was a simple push and she fell to the floor again.

"Just go," I said quietly.

"Yeh need some 'elp, love. Yeh're sweating something chronic."

"I don't need to warn you one more time, Mrs Lovett, do I?"

She swallowed thickly, but pressed on determinedly. Her arms hooked around me a last time, but this time my patience was beyond breaking point. I shrugged her off fiercely and she was lying on the floor again almost automatically, both of my hands around her neck. Her eyes were wide as she looked up at my countenance.

"When I tell you to leave me alone, Mrs Lovett, it is in your best interest you don't ignore those wishes."

"But-"

A yelp echoed through the room as I tightened my grip.

"Do you understand me, Mrs Lovett?"

"Yes," she managed to croak.

All of a sudden, there was a knock at the door. My hands snapped back to my side quickly, and the nausea returned. I groaned once in annoyance.

"Enter."

The door opened slowly, and there appeared the policeman who I had contacted about Johanna. I looked up, the thoughts of all those times I had been spoken to simply because she had still not be found.

"Yes, officer?"

"Mr Todd, I-" The man stopped, looking at Mrs Lovett who still was rather flustered, gasping for breath.

"'ave I disturbed you in any way, sir?"

"No! No, she simply slipped on a rag."

"Yes, 'course, that's it," she muttered under her breath, standing and nodding to the officer. "Do yeh 'ave any more news, officer?"

The man bit his lip, looking at me.

"Well, that's wot I wanted to talk to yeh for, Mr Todd."

I grabbed my walking stick, hoisting myself up to stand. The officer had aged so much over the years that I towered above him with little effort of standing properly.

"Go on."

"Well, we were given some facts about a few days ago, yeh see-"

"Why wasn't I contacted?" I asked abruptly. The officer almost jumped.

"That's wot I mean, Mr Todd. Why we wanted to talk to yeh."

"What was said?"

"Young girl of about yeh're daughters age was seen out near t'other side of London."

"And?"

"Sweet little thing. Blonde 'air and all. Think someone said she was with a lad, not much older, really. Twenty, at the most."

At this, I straightened a little.

"Twenty, you say?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"Do you know anything more about this lad?"

The officer put his hand to his chin, rubbing the bristles. I longed for a moment to offer him a shave, but I shouldn't have found out that which I needed to know.

"As a matter of fact, I think I do. Yeh, came into the station about three months ago, asking about some asylum."

"And?"

"Didn't seem too bright, really."

"Did he give you any details? Any…friends, any…just, anything?"

"I think 'e might 'ave. Lives down by the old Oakley's Spectacle shop. Only 'ouse down that street if I recall."

With that, I grabbed my coat and very nearly pushed the officer out of my way as I charged from the door. The pain that enveloped my usually unfeeling shell of a body was gone, and the strength that enraptured me every time I held my razor to a man's throat. My teeth were gritted, my fists clenched.

This time, I was sure.

She wouldn't leave my sight.

Ever again.


	13. Johanna 7

Anthony rolled over onto his side, looking at me with a strangely heavenly smile on his lips. How could I blame him? The same smile was on my own.

"'Morning," he said with a yawn.

"Actually, it's evening."

"Evening?"

"You slept through the day."

"Oh," he said simply, blushing. I giggled at this.

"You're blushing."

"I'm not."

"You are, Anthony."

His hand gently reached out to my cheek, caressing it softly.

"Either way, good awakenings."

"I should think you've gone mad, Anthony. No one says 'good awakenings'."

"No one's ever been as elated as I am now."

It was my turn to blush now.

"You have had a week to become used to us waking together, Anthony. Yet you are still so easily surprised. It is quite strange."

"Very."

With that, his lips pressed upon mine again, kissing me lovingly. However occupied I was, I still could not suppress my smile. I had to admit, I was still easily surprised with seeing Anthony- _my husband-_ laying beside me when I awoke. I had only ever seen birds before when I looked around my room, or even worse a mad man. Most often than not, the mad man would not be as composed as Anthony was at this moment in time.

"You have not yet taken your time about London," I said quietly at the first chance I had to free myself from him. Anthony.

"I don't suppose I've wanted to take the risk."

"What risk?"

"Well, Mr Todd. I should think he's still out there, waiting for you."

"Waiting implies a return."

"Then he is still out there, waiting for himself to find you." I shook my head. My hands placed themselves gently on either side of his face, allowing my to stare into his eyes.

"He shan't find me. Even if he did, what would we care? We have the papers, and we have the rings. I am yours, not his. No matter what he says."

Anthony chuckled darkly.

"It was Mr Todd who taught me that life isn't always fair. Most men would simply tear that piece of paper. It means nothing to anyone but us, and to any noble man who should pass by it."

"You yourself said that this marriage would save us."

"I was hopelessly happy," he said almost guiltily. "At least we are now married, and we can only hope."

"Hope does me no good," I said indignantly. "I hoped I should have been away with you months ago, but here we are in October, only a week into our lives together."

"You mustn't think in such a way. We are together now."

"After so long."

I was soon enveloped in Anthony's arms, being cradled as if I were a child.

"There's no need to worry. All that matters is the present."

"And the future."

"Yes. So don't dwell in the past, please, Johanna." He kissed my forehead lovingly. "I wouldn't want to see a single frown in France if I could help it. We shan't start before we've even arrived."

I nodded determinedly.

"Might I remind you this is our last night in London? I think it is time we stepped outside for at least once before the week if over."

Anthony paused, not entirely sure on what to do, but then nodded. His arms moved from around me and reached for his shirt on the floor by the bedside. I could not help but stare as he dressed. To tell the truth, I had not seen him do so in the past week.

"You're staring," he pointed out as he put on his shoes. I blushed violently again.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?" he asked, his grin still lighting his face. I held my breath as I dressed tentatively. Anthony seemed to stare at me as I had, only I assume it was more out of the fact that I had done so. He chuckled as he did so, and I could not help but laugh as well.

Yet it didn't seem that this day could be any different than the others of the week. We had laughed and smiled for all of them.

"M'lady," he said gentlemanly, offering his arm to me. I placed my arm around his.

"Kind sir."

Anthony led me out the door, never once dropping the façade he had begun. We were still chuckling even after the door had been closed. I breathed in the air, savouring it.

Abruptly, Anthony's chuckling stopped.

"What is the matter, Anthony?"

"I…" He trailed off, looking straight in front of us. I looked to where he was staring.

It became clear.

There before us, only about 100 metres away, he stood.

Anthony held my arm tightly, backing up slowly. It was almost as if we were young children evading a beating.

"Just go back inside, Johanna," Anthony said quietly. "Now."

"Not without you."

"This is not time to-"

"I'm not going to sit there while you confront him. I'm not leaving you again."

Quicker than a blink, Anthony had reached for the door behind us and thrust me inside. Sensing he would do so, I pulled him in after me.

"I told you," I said loudly, without need to hide my voice any longer, "I am not going to leave you out there by yourself."

He gritted his teeth, seeming angrier than I had seen him before, but pushed past that and locked the door from the inside.

"Help me with this," he ordered, pushing against the door with his back, barricading it. I automatically went to his side, pressing against it. I closed my eyes firmly, holding my breath.

"It can't be happening," I whispered under my breath. "It can't be happening, it can't be happening."

"Don't worry," Anthony said firmly, his hand reaching for mine. "He'll leave. He has to. If not…the police will come soon enough."

"What if the police are already looking for me?"

Anthony did not answer that, making me all the more frightened. Mr Todd's fists began to beat at the door. My fear grew because the door was so thin that I could feel where the fists hit.

"Give her back to me! Give me back my daughter!"

I winced at the word. Anthony squeezed my hand in strained comfort.

"Someone's going to hear you, Mr Todd," Anthony said shakily.

"The police are coming any minute now, boy. Your time's up!"

Tears started to pour down my cheeks. I wished to scream at this man to leave us be, but the words would not come to me. I could hear the lock on the door clicking again and again, and soon enough I knew it would break. No longer would there be a barrier between us. This time, I would not be able to leave again.

"They're coming now, boy! You can make this that much easier by just turning yourself in now! I'm sure you'd only get, say, fifteen years for kidnapping."

"She came of her own free will," Anthony said strongly.

I nodded fiercely, even though I knew very well that I could not be seen. Anthony's hand moved slightly, but I kept it firmly in my grasp. My mind told me never to let go of his hand, lest that meant we should not be able to keep the door closed.

Finally, the click became stronger. The door was unlocked.

"They're here now, boy!" Mr Todd yelled, banging on the door even harder. I yelped in surprise at the abrupt brutality of his force.

Quickly, Anthony pulled me into his arms and dived away from the door. I understood why a second later when The door was flung open, the centre of it started to crack. We landed at the foot of the bed, my body guarded by Anthony's. Footsteps were immediately heard marching towards us, and in moments Anthony was lifted from on top of me.

"This would have been so much easier," I heard Mr Todd grumble, "if you had just come out in the first place."

There was a large thud- a sound, I assume, came from Mr Todd dropping Anthony to the floor. I was pulled to my own feet by a pair of strong hands lifting me by my shoulders. I could not tell whether the shaking between us was my trembling or his.

"Never…" I looked up at him finally through my tears. Although his face was distorted, I could see he was much paler than he had been before- if such were possible. His eyes were darker, and he seemed much colder.

"Please," I said chokingly, trying to move from him. I could not. Mr Todd's hands stayed on me firmly.

"Never again will you leave me. I am not going to let you out of my sight."

He let out a loud, choked sob. I could not understand it at first, but it only took a moment or so to see a tear drop from the corner of his eye. As I was pulled towards his breast, I wondered.

I had never before see a demon cry.

Over Mr Todd's shoulder, I saw Anthony being held by two police officers. Each of them had one of his arms, pulling him away from me. I gasped out loud with the shock of the scene.

"Anthony!"

"Johanna, show them! Show them your ring."

I scrambled quickly from Mr Todd's grasp, holding my hand up to him.

"Yes! Yes, Mr Todd, please, I am his now. We have the marriage certificates."

There was silence in the room for a few minutes. It was torturing. Mr Todd simply looked at my hand, as if inspecting the ring. Finally, he sneered.

"What does that matter? Your husband is going to jail, and I'm afraid it is up to me to house you."

I looked towards the police officers. Before there was a chance to be kept in my place again, I ran up to them.

"Please, sirs, you have to understand. We are married! I was here of my own will!"

"I'm afraid yeh'll 'ave to take that up with the court, lass," said one of them. Without thinking, I flung my arms around Anthony's neck, holding him even if he could not hold me. His tears stained the top of my head, mine soaking his shirt.

"Don't be long," I whispered into his ear. "Please, you'll be out soon enough."

Anthony didn't say a word on the subject, but I don't suppose he had the chance. At that moment, he was dragged away by the police officers, yet refused to look me in the eye. I collapsed to my knees, the tears disabling my thought. Mr Todd came quickly to my side.

"Come," he said, his voice as it had been so long before, evidence of tears erased. "It's far too late for you to be here now."

I was shaking at this point. Even if I had wanted to, I would not have been able to stand on my own two feet. Realising this, Mr Todd hooked an arm under my legs and picked me up as if I were light as a feather. Against my most superior instincts, I wrapped my arms around his neck, crying into his chest. It could not be helped. I was left again with nothing to hold.

I don't remember us at all sitting in a coach, and was almost surprised at the fact Mr Todd had walked the whole way. Yet, when I thought about it, I honestly did not care.

"Didn't I tell yeh!" Mrs Lovett cried the moment we stepped into the pie shop. "I told yeh! By the end of the week!"

I was placed again on my feet, but Mr Todd still kept a hold on me. Whether it was because I would fall, or rather I would try to run again, I do not know. I looked up to Mrs Lovett's warm smile again, and felt slightly more at peace, no matter how loyal she was to Mr Todd.

Her hazel eyes gleamed, turning a dark shade of amber. It was more intense than I had first seen it to be. It was almost frightening.

"Yeh really 'ave to get some rest now, Mr T," she said, placing a hand on Mr Todd's back and guiding him from the room. "I'll sort Johanna out for yeh."

Mr Todd looked at me once, then sighed in submission. He did not say a word, and simply left. There was a soft look in the way that Mrs Lovett bid him goodnight, and one which I found far too soft to be natural. I had never even looked at Anthony in such a possessive way.

"Johanna?" she said quietly, not turning to look at me at this moment in time.

"Yes, ma'am?" My voice trembled, and I could not keep my hands still. Mrs Lovett sighed. Without warning, her hand shot out as she turned, hitting me across the face. I yelped, flying off my feet and onto the floor. When I opened my eyes, Mrs Lovett was towering over me, her face red with resentment.

"You," she said, her voice shaking, her finger pointing at me accusingly. "How dare yeh do this to us? Mr T's been waiting years for yeh. And yeh know what? I've been waiting fifteen years for 'im."

"M-m-ma'am, I-"

"No!" she said breathlessly. "I'm not listening to any of those excuses! I want yeh to understand this. Yeh better make sure yeh're listening, little missy. Yeh're gonna call Mr T papa. Yeh can call me ma'am or mama, I don't care which. But yeh're gonna be part of this little family if it kills yeh."

I backed away slightly, not stopping until I hit a chair.

"W-w-why?"

"Like I said. I've been waiting fifteen years for this. Now 'e's finally mine, and that good-for-nothing mother of yehrs is out of the way. All that 'e needs now if for yeh to be 'appy. Well, if that's all it takes before we finally move from 'ere, then that's what yeh're gonna do."

I shook my head in disbelief, barely comprehending the situation. Mrs Lovett still glowered over me, her face serious and shocking. I started to hyperventilate, unable to catch my breath. I raised my hand up to my neck, my mind racing. Almost to the point of bursting.

My eyes widened, and then it was as if I were suddenly fresh.

I did not like it.

I had finally gone mad.


	14. Sweeney 7

I could still hear low sobs from downstairs. It was enough to bring a normal man to tears, to listen to his own daughter cry with such a passion. It had been carrying on for almost an hour at this point. Placing my Lucy's picture back on the desk, I turned to leave the flat to see what all the fuss was about.

"Mrs Lovett," I called as I entered the pie shop. "I thought you said you were sending her to bed."

There was an ear-piercing scream, followed by a crash. In an instant, I rushed to the parlour.

"Johanna?"

What was I to think when I saw my daughter standing with one of the figurines Mrs Lovett kept on her mantle, poised and ready to throw at her head when she should please. Mrs Lovett stood cowering, trying to soothe her.

"Mr T! I don't know what 'appened, she just…she just flew at me!"

I did not question what it was that would provoke a shy young girl, but nonetheless moved towards my daughter.

"Johanna, stop that."

She turned towards me, still holding the figurine.

"Please," she said shakily, "leave me be. I don't like this! Leave me alone!"

"Johanna, give me that now."

She seemed uneasy, but shockingly surrendered it. The moment it left her grasp, she fell to her knees before me, her forehead on the floor. I did not know what to say, or even what to do. Mrs Lovett was just as shocked as I was.

There was silence. All that we could do was stare at Johanna, still kneeling on the floor, her forehead still on the floor. I cleared my throat several times, to no avail. All of a sudden, she jumped to her feet, quicker than she had left them.

"You're Mr Todd!" she said loudly and cheerfully, a large grin on her face. I almost fell back with the shock.

"Yes, Johanna."

"And- and she's Mrs Lovett, isn't she?" Johanna pointed at our landlady.

"Yes, she is, Johanna."

"Then…I'm Johanna?" she said questioningly, pointing to herself. I pressed my lips together nervously.

"You are Johanna, yes."

Mrs Lovett opened her mouth to speak, but without even looking at her, I told her to leave the room. Johanna watched in near fascination as Mrs Lovett left, and then looked back at me, her grin still there.

"Doesn't Mrs Lovett have lovely hair, Mr Todd?"

I did not say anything, unable to answer it.

"I don't like your hair, though," she said bluntly, still grinning.

My eyes wandered over her face. There was not a change in it apart from perhaps the fresh blush in her cheeks. I could barely believe I was still looking at my daughter. Even in her insanity I could tell it was her. There was still the pale beauty I had longed for, only overruled by her mother's. Her hair still held the same yellow that had been hidden in my dreams.

She was still my daughter.

Quickly, I took my chance and wrapped my arms around my daughter. Johanna did not fidget- a strange thing indeed for one in her position. I felt no fuss against my embrace. Instead, there was a soft shaking against me.

She simply laughed.

I placed a hand on the back of her head, making sure she was firmly in my grasp. I ignored her childish giggles. It made the idea of her insanity all too real.

"I should think you're tired now," I said hoarsely, disguising my fears.

"Not a bit," she said brightly. I held her at arms length, contemplating for a moment.

"Then you should at least want to see your bird," I said quickly. Her eyes widened.

"I have a bird?" I smiled to the best of my ability- a pathetic one, but one that seemed to keep Johanna content.

"Yes. A lovely little one." I added this on with a sickening thought. I hated the bird. It was only out of hope of Johanna's return that I did not wring its neck.

Johanna clapped her hands delightedly and looked to the door expectantly. With a nod, I took her hand and led her outside. I was careful, watching around and making sure that Johanna was calm. I knew she would not run off, and was glad of it, but knew equally well that she could turn to a more darker side of madness at any moment. Yet there was still not a word from her, just an expectant smile and a slight giggle.

"Mr Todd, is this your room?" she asked sweetly as we entered my flat. I nodded.

"That it is, Johanna."

She smiled to herself.

"It's dusty."

I shook my head, very nearly smiling at the childishness of the comment. All of a sudden, Johanna squealed in delight.

"Is this it, Mr Todd? Is this my bird?" Johanna was kneeling by the cage which I had still forgotten to hang. She was quite amazed with it.

"That's your bird," I said quietly.

"It's awfully small," she said. Then she paused. "But it's pretty. Which is more important, Mr Todd?"

I was quite stunned at the question.

"I shouldn't think I'd know."

"Well, I like it, no matter which is more appropriate," said Johanna defiantly, as if I had spoken out about my disagreements to the creature. For a little while, she simply stared at the cage, tilting her head and giggling as the bird hopped around.

"It's late," I said quietly, still unable to move from the spot where I watched her. She flinched as I spoke, yet not allowing the smile to move from her lips. Johanna nodded.

"I know, Mr Todd."

"We should have you put to bed, you know."

She shook her head.

"I don't think so, Mr Todd."

I shook my head tiredly, confused on what to do. I closed my eyes, thinking deeply. I had never before even thought of the idea being within such close quarters with my daughter, and found it even stranger I should have the proximity with my daughter with such madness in her mind.

When I opened my eyes, she was all of a sudden in front of me. Johanna had stretched upon her toes, so that her eyes were only just below mine. Her face was close enough for me to feel the breath from her.

"Must I go to bed now, Mr Todd?" she asked, pouting slightly. I nodded.

"As I said, it's late, Johanna." She smiled again, and then rested her head upon my chest.

"If I must," she said resignedly, yawning. My hands wrapped around her, cradling her even as we stood. I do not know when she fell asleep. I don't suppose I cared. Johanna was again in my arms, and without a fuss as well.

It was sick of me to say, but I could not believe the elation I had in this moment. My daughter had been driven mad- caused by means that I wish I knew. The very thought of my happiness with the situation was sick. I found myself no better than those I had killed.

Suddenly, there came a sight out of the corner of my eye. I smiled as naturally as possible for me.

"Oh look, Johanna. A star."


	15. Johanna 8

My eyes opened slowly, revealing the world again to me. I automatically clenched Mr Todd closer to me, knowing it was his body enveloping mine.

"Mr Todd," I said quickly. "Mr Todd, it's morning."

"That it is, Johanna."

I shook my head earnestly.

"No, you don't understand, Mr Todd."

"I understand perfectly. It's morning."

I wriggled free from him, looking at him with pleading eyes.

"No, that's not what I meant."

"That's what you said," he said tiredly. Angrily, I pushed a hand at his chest.

"You're not listening to me, Mr Todd!"

"Of course I am," he said more determinedly. I shook my head again, feeling almost dizzy because of it.

"You're not! You really are not!"

With a sigh, Mr Todd pulled me close towards him again, rocking me. I fussed for a split second before being pacified again. I had even forgotten why I had been so angry. In fact, I had forgotten being angry at all. I barely remembered waking. Quickly, I jumped to my feet.

"It's morning, Mr Todd!" He shook his head, confusing me slightly.

"Are you hungry, Johanna?"

I nodded vigorously.

"Mrs Lovett makes pies, doesn't she?"

"That she does."

"Then- can I have porridge?"

He raised an eyebrow lightly, making me giggle.

Mr Todd took me down to the pie house I found myself in suddenly last night. I could not help but feel uneasy. The moment I stepped into the parlour, I started to twitch and fidget.

"Cease your twitching, Johanna," Mr Todd said firmly yet quietly to me.

"It smells awfully in here," I muttered, looking about the room. I could almost see the vapours of the scent that surrounded me. I didn't like it one bit. Everything was covered in the wisps of scent. Everything had turned red.

I shrieked.

"Johanna, what is it?" Mr Todd asked alarmingly, turning and gripping my arms firmly.

"Can you not see it?" I asked vehemently. "It's everywhere, Mr Todd!"

"What is, Johanna?"

"You can not see it! How may you know it if you can not see it staining the walls, Mr Todd?" I peered at him, gasping. "It stains you too, Mr Todd!"

He shook his head violently.

"There is nothing around us, Johanna."

"There is! Can you not see it? It is everywhere here! Like smoke!"

I whispered the last word, afraid to even say it. Mr Todd stared at me for a moment, rubbing my arm as if to soothe me. I dared not be soothed. How could I trust that that only I could see?

"Johanna, there is nothing there. All of this is in your head."

"That's far too simple an explanation."

"What do you suppose the explanation is then?"

I paused, knowing well I should say what I thought.

"It is death," I said, over pronouncing the last word.

Mr Todd stared at me again, his face blank. It bemused me how he could stay so calm in the face of this news. Then again, it seemed a lot of things bewildered me nowadays. Yet this fact made me not only confused, but frightened. I grabbed the lapels of his jacket.

"Mr Todd, you do believe me, don't you? If you can not see it, then you must at least smell it!"

I was too busy sniffing the air myself to look at what he was doing. All I knew was that he was still watching me. His eyes still burnt into me. Without a single thought, I grabbed the nearest vase and raised it above my head.

"You're not listening to me!" I cried out, my face flushing. Quickly, Mr Todd grabbed my arm that held the vase. I struggled against him, but he was strong. Too strong. I dropped the vase, which he caught quite fast for the man I expected him to be. He released me, quietly taking the vase back to its place. I only stood there, trembling. The vapours still surrounded me, and seemed almost to move when Mr Todd did.

"I must get Mrs Lovett," he said after a few minute's silence.

I nodded, still shaking. It may have been only moments, or minutes, or hours since he left, but it felt like no time until he appeared again. Mrs Lovett by his side.

There was something in Mrs Lovett that made me uneasy, and yet I could not help but smile when I saw her again.

"Mrs Lovett!" I cried, jumping towards her and flinging my arms around her neck. She chuckled.

"'ello there, dear."

"Mrs Lovett, you know it's morning, don't you?" She blinked twice.

"Yes, love."

I smiled, nodding defiantly at Mr Todd.

"Mr Todd said you make pies, Mrs Lovett. Is it true?"

"Of course, love. Yeh want me to make yeh one?"

"No," I said, giggling. "Definitely not. I want porridge," I added, knowing very well how obvious it was. She smiled brightly at me.

"Yes, 'ow could I forget? Come on dear, we'll get yeh a bowl." She put a hand on my shoulder.

Then it hit me.

I looked down to my shoulder, seeing the vapours seeping from under her hand and onto my shoulder. I drew myself away from her, grabbing Mr Todd's coat.

"Mr Todd," I said warily, not leaving his side. "Mr Todd, she has it too."

"It's all in your head," he said firmly.

"No, Mr Todd, no. You can not see it, perhaps, but I can. It is on her too."

We both of us looked at Mrs Lovett, who stared back, her smile dropping slightly.

"Would yeh like me to leave, Mr T?" she asked quietly.

Mr Todd only nodded.

I watched her as she left the room, trembling more than I had done in the past day of my life that I remembered.

"Why does she frighten you?" Mr Todd asked me softly.

"She…she has death on her," I muttered, fiddling with my hair nervously. He pulled it lightly from my fingers and let it drop to my cheeks again.

"Little to none, I should think."

"You think wrong."

"I've never thought wrong in my life."

I looked pleadingly at him, but he did not listen. For a moment, I looked again at the door Mrs Lovett had just left through. The knowledge was still in my mind that death surrounded this woman, and I would not be persuaded near her again.


	16. Sweeney 8

Johanna could still not be pacified. She began to become more anxious as time went by, still seeing these vapours everywhere that were invisible to my own eye. After a short time, it was apparent she was best to stay in the barber shop. With my razors safely locked away, she was allowed into the room.

"They can seep through the floorboards," she said, theatrically dropping to the floor and knocking the wood.

"Don't say such nonsense, Johanna."

She shushed me, knocking thrice more.

"Hello?"

"Johanna, there is no one there."

She ignored me, repeating her actions once more.

I slowly moved towards her, picking her back up to her feet. She gladly did it, smiling cheerfully. An extraordinary change compared to the serious frown she had held only a moment ago.

"Mr Todd, you haven't combed your hair."

Again, I could not help but be taken aback by the sheer abruptness of her comment.

"I don't suppose so."

She giggled, sitting on the edge of the small bed, wriggling in delight. I could see no amusement in the fact. I sighed, and took hold of the comb I had sitting on the desk. I beckoned Johanna to me.

"Come, now. You haven't had yours brushed through either for a good while."

To my surprise, Johanna shook her head fervently.

"No, Mr Todd, I don't think so."

"Don't be silly, now. Come here."

She shook her head again, more anxious.

"No, no, I don't want you to."

I exhaled resignedly. Placing the comb back down, I shook my head, turning from my daughter. I caught a glimpse of Lucy in the picture frame, the urge to pick it up and stare almost too much to bear. I gave into the temptation, and so I took hold of the photograph and looked at for a moment. For a moment, I even forgot that Johanna was there.

"Who is she?" Johanna said all of a sudden. I turned my head to see her peering over my shoulder.

"She is…your mother," I said finally, hoping that this message should eventually get through. There was a pause, and then Johanna giggled.

"She has very pretty hair."

"Very much so."

There was another pause.

"It's not as pretty as Mrs Lovett's," she said blankly.

"I could have been certain you did not like Mrs Lovett, Johanna."

"Just because she has done wrong does not mean that her hair should suffer the consequences."

I didn't even bother to think about what that sentence meant. I put the picture back onto the desk, placing my hand on Johanna's shoulder.

"Do you wish for a book at all?" I asked out of the blue, wishing to keep her entertained for the day.

She only shook her head.

"I'm sure Mrs Lovett could find you something to do then."

Her eyes widened and she shook her head.

"I'll read a book," she said, as if such were a punishment. I do not know whether it bothered me, but I ignored all of this for the time being.

I had few books in my possession. There was an old battered book of tales that I remember Lucy reading to Johanna when she was much younger. For a moment, I remembered. I had never found the use of those types of books.

"_It'll do her no good," I said with a chuckle, pulling Lucy onto my lap. "She can't understand a word that you're saying."_

"_She did not inherit all of your quirks," she said with a giggle, holding the book firmly as I tried to snatch it from her._

"_If she can understand it then I'm sure she is screaming out for you to stop. Who wishes to hear about these tales?"_

"_Of love and romance?"_

"_Of imprisonment and old hags."_

_Lucy smiled, playing with my hair childishly._

"_You mustn't think so wickedly, Benjamin. What would your daughter say?"_

"_I daresay she would be complaining to you. 'Mother dearest! Why speak to me of such horrid things! I should much rather hear that voice of yours put to good use through song!'"_

_Lucy laughed again._

"_You know very well my voice was not meant for song."_

"_Then Johanna and I are deaf, for we would love to hear it again."_

_With a smile, Lucy shook her head. She rested it on my breast, the both of us looking at our little girl fidgeting in her crib._

"Mr Todd," called Johanna, breaking my memories. "Mr Todd, this book does not make any sense."

I looked towards her, slightly amused. She now sat cross-legged on the bed, holding the book in different angles, attempting in vain to read. Even though I was amused, I could not help but realise that not only was my daughter mad, but she was now illiterate.

"I could never make sense of it either," I said softly.

"The pictures are gone," she said. I barely could believe her.

"Excuse me?"

"There were pictures here, but there aren't any pictures."

"How do you know there were pictures?" I asked curiously.

She pointed at a faint mark on the page she was looking at.

"There are some colours left, but there isn't any shape. There were pictures, but now there aren't."

My once thriving heart dropped in my chest. For a moment- a split second- I thought she might have remembered.

All of a sudden, there came a knocking at the door. I called for the person to enter, and there came Mrs Lovett. Johanna jumped slightly, making the bedsprings creak, but did not move from her place. Mrs Lovett looked nervously towards Johanna, but then turned back to face me.

"Some men are 'ere to see us, Mr T," she said, her voice hoarse.

"I'll be down in a moment."

"No, they want to see us now, they said." I sighed resignedly. I glanced at Johanna, but followed Mrs Lovett out, locking the door behind me firmly.

"Who is it?"

"Just…some men. They-" She let out a shaky sob before she could finish her sentence.

"Mrs Lovett, who are they?"

"I-" Again, a chocking sob.

"Mrs Lovett," I said firmly, taking hold of her by the upper arms. "Who- are- they?"

She looked into my eyes, her own filled with glistening tears.

"They know Toby," she said in a whisper. My hands left her immediately, my face became livid.

"But you cleared out the remains?"

"Yes."

"And I've cleaned out the blood already. Not a trace left."

"But Mr T, do yeh think yeh can keep yehr patience?"

"I have a reason to now," I said, passing by her and walking into the pie shop.

Sure as she had said, there were two men sitting in one of the booths, their faces serious. In between them sat a young little boy, a scrawny little thing with short, scruffy hair.

Tobias Ragg.

I placed my false smile onto my lips- the smile that was used before a man sat down in my barber chair.

"Good day, gentlemen," I said in a friendly manner- or so the façade shall have meant. "What may I do for you to today?"

"That's him," Toby muttered under his breath to the officer to his left, who then turned to me.

"This boy seems to be under the thought that you have something to hide here, Mr Todd."

"You may look around the pie shop if you wish, sirs."

"He said it may have occurred in your barber shop."

"Then you may look up there as well."

Mrs Lovett sidled beside me, her eyes still watering. I saw that Toby was staring at her as well, his eyes a mixture of anger, confusion, and sadness.

"Come with me, gentlemen," I said, breaking the moment's silence, beckoning the gentlemen over to me. One of them moved to take Toby's hand, but he snatched it back.

"I want to stay down here," he said quietly yet firmly. Mrs Lovett's gasp was inaudible to anyone but me, and so I was the only one who could tell how glad she was. I paid no attention to them after that, and guided the men upstairs. I only prayed that Johanna would be in a calm state of mind.

"I must warn you," I said as we walked up the steps. "My daughter is up here. She has lately recovered from a bout of influenza, and is prone to a delirious nature after such illnesses."

"I'm sure we'll be fine enough," said one of the officers impatiently. "If we can just go and look now."

I nodded, opening the door. The moment the door creaked open, Johanna's delighted face came into sight. She smiled towards me.

"I can read it!" she chuckled. "I finally read the first tale, Mr Todd."

Attempting to ignore her fore the time being, I turned to the officers.

"You may look around as you wish," I said. As the man looked around, Johanna moved timidly towards me.

"Who are they?" she asked in a hushed whisper into my ear.

"Simply some men. They…" I trailed away, not knowing what to say. How may I tell my mad daughter that a boy could sentence us to jail if a trace of blood were found. It was an impossible thing to describe to the sanest of people.

I myself looked around the room with my eyes. I saw nothing. But my eyes were blinder than they once had been. I saw soul now, never physical.

"Would you pardon me and my daughter for a moment," I asked aloud. "She has not had much fresh air since the influenza."

The two nodded, carrying on with their searching. At a quick pace, I turned Johanna out of the door and led her towards the pie shop.

"Mr Todd, did I really have influenza?" Johanna asked excitedly as we rushed down the staircase.

"Yes, yes, you may have," I said, far too deep in my plans

"You didn't hear me before, Mr Todd!" she said suddenly, pulling me back. "You didn't hear me say I could read that story."

I stopped in my tracks, looking at her. For a split second, I genuinely smiled.

"Tell me about it later, Johanna."

I grabbed her wrist again, guiding her into the pie shop. She shuddered as we entered, but we were both too stunned to notice when we saw what faced us.

Mrs Lovett knelt on the floor, her arms wrapped fiercely around Toby, tears pouring down her cheeks. I could see her form shaking from the sobs. Strangest of all, Toby was shaking as well, and not just because Mrs Lovett was. He held her tightly as well, crying.

"Oh, Mr T!" she cried out the moment she saw us. With one arm still around Toby firmly, she wiped away her tears with the other. "Where are those other two?"

"They're still up in the barber shop," I said. I quickly took Mrs Lovett's arm with my spare hand. "We still have time."

"Time? What yeh talking about, love?"

"We're leaving. We have to go now."

"Mr T, yeh're not making any sense!"

"I've never made more sense in my life," I said, hoisting her to her feet. "We're leaving. I don't care where any more, I don't care if it's that blasted seaside you were talking about. I don't even care if that boy of yours wants to come," I added, spitting out the words.

Toby looked surprised.

"I-I-I-"

"Toby," Mrs Lovett exclaimed delightedly. "Yes, yeh 'ave to come. Me weary bones ain't gonna be able to cope by meself."

"You have Mr Todd!" he said.

"And 'e 'as Johanna. Please, love, for me."

A pained look flashed across his face before he nodded.

"For you." She smiled brightly, dragging Toby as I dragged her.

Where we were set course to, I do not know.


	17. Johanna 9

I could not help but laugh as we fled through the streets of London. The reason for which we fled, I still did not understand. All I knew was that by the end of all the fuss, my feet were as sore as I could ever remember them being. Through this, I laughed. It was all I could do to stop from crying.

"Mr Todd," I giggled as he dragged me alongside him. "Mr Todd, where are we going?"

"Far away," he said simply, as if I were to know where such was.

"Where is far away?"

There was barely a pause before Mrs Lovett said gleefully 'France'.

I smiled as well, although it could not be said I knew where that was exactly.

Mr Todd stopped abruptly as we found the docks. I could not recall ever seeing them, and was therefore shocked out of my wits to see a boat. Not only that, but a ship. I remembered the fairy story I had only just finished reading. It spoke of a ship. I smiled dreamily, thinking about that thrill of reading.

There was silence for a short while before Mr Todd finally kept us moving towards the ship. I saw him speak to the man standing by the docking port of the ship.

"Only a little while left, Toby," I heard Mrs Lovett mutter to the little boy that had come with us. I looked at him briefly, not fully understanding.

"You're Toby?" I asked.

He nodded politely.

"Why are you here?" He looked rather offended, although I'm sure the question had come out as kindly as I could put it.

"I wanted 'im 'ere, love," Mrs Lovett said. I wrinkled my nose.

"I asked Toby."

"I'm here for Mrs Lovett," Toby said quickly. I smiled. Before another word could be said, Mr Todd took my hand again and led us towards the ship.

"We're able to sail here," he said simply, directing his speech at Mrs Lovett.

"I would 'ave thought this'd be the prisoner's ship."

"It is."

I could not comprehend it, and yet there was silence that I understood very well. Something told me that we were not to be on this ship. Or, at least, there was a danger about it. I pulled on Mr Todd's arm.

"Are we allowed, Mr Todd?"

"Of course," he said assuringly. At least, it assured me, rather than the tone being such. Yet I still had to be almost dragged along to step foot on the wood. For a few moments as we walked I shook my head exasperatedly, not wishing to move an inch. Yet, with enough coercing, I was finally swayed into stepping foot onto the planks of wood.

"Don't be difficult," Mr Todd whispered into my ear. His words were harsh, but I was glad at least that his tone was soothing.

"I won't."

"Johanna, I wish for you to listen to me," he said the moment we were all on the ship. Mr Todd placed his hands on my shoulders, pulling me to face him. "I don't want you to leave my sight on this ship."

"I won't," I repeated, looking about me. Mr Todd seemed to grow impatient as I did so.

"You do understand me, don't you, Johanna?"

"Of course, Mr Todd."

"Then what did I say?"

"Not to leave your sight."

"And do you understand that you must not?"

"I know, Mr Todd," I said airily, starting to fidget. "Please, Mr Todd, leave me be now."

He did not move for a moment, but sighed finally and let me free from his grasp. Mr Todd did not leave me for very long, and very soon had at least one hand on my shoulder. I began to notice less and less as I felt the floors move beneath my feet. I clutched onto Mr Todd's coat jacket.

"What's happening?" I asked fearfully. He seemed as if in realisation of some sort and pulled me towards him.

"Do not fret, Johanna."

"I did not fret! I simply don't know what's happening."

"Ignore it," he said quietly, whispering into my ear and rubbing my arms for warmth. I wriggled about, trying to move away from him.

"Why are we moving?"

"We're leaving London," he said simply.

"Why?"

"It's…not for us." This last part of the sentence was added rather indolently, but I took no notice in it. I was far too frightened that we still seemed to be moving.


	18. Sweeney 9

Johanna was restless. She stayed obediently by me, but would always mutter under her breath, pulling at her hair. Not once did she look up at me, but instead she stayed knelt on the floor, her eyes always fixated on a certain point.

I waved a hand past her eyes, but could not distract her. If anything, her muttering increased. I sighed, looking towards Mrs Lovett, who was sitting on the floor herself with Toby on her lap. Almost as if feeling my eyes upon her, she immediately turned to look at me.

"'ow is she coping, love?"

"Obviously, not very well," I replied, looking down on her. I sighed. "Would you look after her? I have been told in exchange for this journey I must take care of some certain business."

Mrs Lovett nodded, patting Toby's back. I scowled at him slightly. I could not understand how Mrs Lovett could still love the boy after what he had almost put us through. How dare he still seem so frightened of me?

I walked off towards the main cabin where a small set of steps- a set which I dared not summarise as a staircase- lay. My face became colder than it had ever been before. The only thing I could hear was the thudding of my feet against the wood and the gradually increasing moans of the prisoners down below.

Mrs Lovett had been right when she assumed that this was a prisoner's ship. She may have been wrong, though, if she assumed I was told to make up for our free journey on this ship. I found that the guards cared very little if we were on or not. They themselves were past caring.

No, the fact was that there was a different interest held for me.

Instead, I wished for a moment simply to gloat.

Once I reached the bottom of the steps, I looked about me. They led straight into the corridor which these prisoners had walked not long ago. On either side of that corridor, there were rows of cells. The moment I started to walk down them, arms shot out of the bars towards me, trying to grab me sleeves. I scowled at all of them, shaking them away from me.

I was only interested in one of those cells.

Oddly enough, it seemed to be the only one that no one was waving from. I stopped in my tracks for mere moments, thinking. I remembered all too clearly when I had been locked away in a place similar to this. I had not been as foolish to scream at those walking by. There had been little point in it now, and it seemed my interest did not think so either.

I carried on walking until I reached the last cell. With a smile, I turned to look into the cell.

"Hello, Anthony."

The figure that had been crouching on the floor of the cell looked up at me.

"Mr Todd?"

I nodded slowly, still grimacing. In a blink of the eye, he had rushed up to the cell door, his hands gripped around the bars until the knuckles turned white, his face a mask of anger.

"What do you think you're doing here!"

"Gloating, if I may say so."

"I'd rather you not to, but I haven't a clue why you are on this boat in the first place! Mr Todd, have you not done me enough trouble?"

"It seems not."

He gritted his teeth, gripping the bars even firmer.

"You must have come here for a reason, now tell me that and leave me be!"

"I came here for no other reason but to tell you this," I said smoothly, staring at him. I saw his eyes had become almost glassy with lost youth. To se it happen to this man sent a warmth through me I had not experienced for so long.

"Tell me what?" he asked curiously.

"Just a little simple something."

My arm reached until I had his collar in my hand, pulling him towards me until our noses almost touched.

"I just want you to know that if you don't die by the end of your first week in prison, I'll be proud of you. But if you don't die, I'm afraid I'm going to have to finish the job for you."

"You couldn't get past the guards," he said fiercely.

"I would have thought that too, but how do you suppose I'm on this boat this very second?"

Anthony opened his mouth slightly, but snapped it closed, thinking it better to say nothing at all. I nodded triumphantly.

"If I can do it once, you should know I can do it again."

"What is your obsession with us?" he asked passionately. "Have you nothing else in your life?"

"Johanna is my life."

"Our rings tell us that we are each others. She is not yours!"

"She is mine for those years that she was not," I said calmly, yet clenching my fist all the same.

"How many times must you be told! Johanna is not your daughter."

"You have no idea, Anthony." I shook my head as I spoke. "The very story would kill you."

"Then if we should meet again, you should tell me it."

"I intend to," I said darkly. Anthony stared at me, looking into my eyes.

"You're a sick man," he said quietly. "Why couldn't you just have been happy for her? For us?"

"I wondered that myself," was my reply. "I really could have. I could have let her be. I could have left her with you. But…Anthony, you've never dreamed of this?"

"Mr Todd, you've become somewhat more melancholy," Anthony said warily.

"Perhaps I always should have stayed so. The truth is, Anthony, I know very well you haven't dreamed as long as I have."

"I've dreamed long enough," he said firmly.

I could not help but chuckle darkly. Shaking my head, I clenched his collar tightly.

"Not as long as I have."

Anthony scowled at me, pulling himself from me. For a moment, he stared, and then with a fury hit the side of his cell with a clenched fist. I heard no wince of pain from the blow, and nor did I see his countenance change from the pure anger he held for me.

"Then if I should admit you've held these dreams for any time longer than I have, when must this become any more than a defeat for me? You may take her, sir, but you shall never require that love which I have found in Johanna."

His words were rushed, barely any sense, but I understood them well. I gripped the bars of the cell wall, gritting my teeth.

"You think too little of me. I have no lustful thoughts for her. How may I do so? She is my daughter, nothing more and nothing less. The very idea…I simply could not fathom it. I have bought my ticket to Hell, and need no such thoughts as those to gain my entrance any quicker."

Anthony seemed almost to snarl after I had finished, and started to pace his cell.

"I have little left to drive me to death. I do not need you here to complete it."

"You wouldn't possibly be able to tell how much fun it is," I said quietly.

Before Anthony could even turn to face me, I was gone.

I had taken my vendetta. Or, at least, the most that I should require for a life time. It was enough this boy should leave for prison. Never had I before pitied a prisoner, but if I had been Benjamin Barker, I should have wept for Anthony.

When I got back to the deck of the ship, I looked across to see everything as I had left it. Johanna still sat by the sidelines, rocking gently. Her eyes did not stir as I moved towards her.

"Johanna," I said gently. "I'm back."

She still did not move, but a single lock of hair slipped from behind her ear in front of her eyes.

All of a sudden, her eyes flashed at me.

"Papa?"

For a moment, I froze. In that word, fifteen years had all of a sudden disappeared.

"Johanna?"

"I don't like this, Papa," she said with tears down her cheeks, flinging her arms around my neck. "Please, Papa, I don't like it!"

I was silent. What was there for me to say? Johanna sobbed silently into my chest, shaking uncontrollably. Slowly, my arms wrapped around her, savouring it. With a sigh, I patted her back gently, as if she were a baby to be nursed. A child, even. My child.

"It's fine, Johanna," I murmured. "Don't worry, it's fine."

All that I could hear was a faint sobbing emitting from her. I hushed her, attempting to soothe her. My struggles were not rewarded full and well, but I could not have been happier.


	19. Johanna 10

I don't know why I had done it. The word 'Papa' seemed almost natural to say now. Due to this, it was what he was now called to me. To me and me alone.

"You needn't worry," he kept telling me as I felt the ground move beneath me.

"I must," I said warily. He did not understand the fact that the earth moved. Yet all Papa did was attempt to soothe me. I was glad of his attempts, but none seemed to break the shelter I had built inside my mind.

"The journey is almost over," he said repeatedly, rocking my back and forth in his arms. "Imagine it," he asked of me quietly. "You shan't have a thing to fret about once we leave. When the ground stops moving, everything will."

"The only thing worse than the ground moving is nothing moving at all," I said.

"I beg to differ."

"Papa, you then must have felt the earth stand still."

"The day you were born," he said frankly. "No other point in life can be more blissful."

"I may never have children." My lips still quivered as I said it. "How else may I enjoy the world's stillness."

"It is no father's wish for her child to have to speak in such a pitiful way," Papa told me. "I do not wish for you to do so either."

There was silence between us, and the only sound to be heard was the rushing of the water underneath the ship. I closed my eyes tightly, listening only to the sound rather than feeling the motion. A sudden spark lit in my head, and I quickly pulled at Papa's sleeve.

"I did not tell you!"

"Tell me what, Johanna?"

"My book," I said in earnest. Papa looked at me for a second, and then smiled slightly.

"Oh, yes, I had…utterly forgotten."

In my haste, I quickly started to babble out the tale I had read. As I recalled, it was almost as if I was reading it for the first time. There was no possible word to describe what was flying through my mind. Perhaps a very little was actually being said there, but the excitement was there nonetheless.

As I spoke, I watched Papa. He himself seemed far off. His usually glassy eyes were not even directed towards me, but instead towards the sea. I found no interest there, and so did not follow his gaze. I was also too enveloped in my story that I could not catch his attention.

"It all sounds very entertaining," Papa said the moment I had taken breath after the tale

"It is!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands. Papa nodded, and then looked over my shoulder.

"You seem to have forgotten where we are, Johanna."

"We're on a ship," I said defiantly.

"True. Yet, you see, you have forgotten we have stopped."

I jumped to my feet, leaning over the edge of the ship. Papa wrapped his arms around my waist firmly, resting his chin on the top of my head. I was far too excited to feel his embrace. There was far too much in front of me.

There was still confusion as to where I was, though. Not that I could say I cared. I was still in blissful realisation that we had stopped moving, and finally the earth had returned to me. It was not at all as Papa had said it would be. I still felt the movement around me, but none of it frightened me.

In fact, I was far too dizzy for fear.

Papa called for Mrs Lovett and the little boy Toby, then gripped my arm as he guided us all off the boat.

"Where are we going, Papa?" I asked.

"I suppose I don't know," he said in an oddly nervous voice. When I say it was odd, I mean that it was not at all nervous at all. "We shall find somewhere soon enough."

"There'll only be a flat around the corner, love," said Mrs Lovett, moving towards Papa. I wrinkled my nose at her. Although the vapours had long since abandoned her, I still could swear I smelt that death upon her when she moved. I held Papa's arm tightly, almost as if claiming my property. I suppose I was. He was mine, after all.

In an almost fleeing fashion, Papa took us through the streets, his head spinning around to see where we may rest our heads.

At last, a small place was found. I do not remember Papa ever taking money with him, but somehow he had managed to pay for a room for us. It was quite small, and so Papa's intriguing manner of sleeping came in useful.

I stayed awake long after Mrs Lovett had drifted to sleep, and could not tell whether Toby had started to sleep or not. For a while he had stared at Papa, fixated. Perhaps he admired Papa as much as I did.

When finally Toby stopped his staring, I smiled at Papa, who had been watching me for some time. His lip curled up in a smile, although it was quite half-hearted.

"Is this our new home?" My voice almost echoed, although no one stirred in the silence.

"I shall find us somewhere more suitable tomorrow morn."

"But it's cosy here," I said happily, looking around me. True, I did not like it, but it was cosy. I was simply stating fact.

"You shan't have to sleep by Mrs Lovett's crib if we find a house," he pointed out.

"That may be worth while."

"Johanna, you must sleep now, at least. It is far too late for you to be fussing."

I pulled at a strand of my hair.

"I'm not fussing."

"You might as well be if you are not going to sleep."

I shook my head.

"What point is there in sleeping if I am just going to wake tomorrow?"

He smiled genuinely for a moment, and then walked to my side. Papa placed his two hands on my shoulders, pushing my gently so my head hit the pillow. I giggled, forgetting completely why I had been vexed.

"Now sleep," Papa said firmly. With a last smile, I closed my eyes, and slumber came upon me.

The very next thing I knew, Mrs Lovett was watching me as my eyes opened.

"Yeh're up, then, love!"

I blinked twice, and then sat up sharply.

"Where's Papa?"

"Don't worry, love, 'e won't be long."

"Where is he?"

Mrs Lovett shifted slightly in her seat, holding her hands up in front of her as if I were a wild animal. I uttered a snarl as if I were.

"Mrs Lovett!"

"'e'll be back in a tick, love. 'e's just gone to find us somewhere else. Somewhere to live."

"You're hiding something," I said shakily. "Why didn't you say it straight away?"

"To be honest, love, yeh kind of took me by surprise."

"Surprise?!"

At that moment, the door opened. I flew across the room into Papa's arms.

"What on earth is the matter?" he asked, embracing me tightly.

"Mrs Lovett," I whispered, not even able to say anything else. Papa's grip became slightly firmer, and he glared at Mrs Lovett over my shoulder.

"What did you do to her?"

"Nothing, love, I swear. She only just woke up, and she was asking for yeh. Said exactly where yeh were to 'er."

"You said nothing until I had long become vexed," I said as she finished. Papa patted my back, hushing me.

"Johanna, you need not worry any longer."

"Yeh found a house?" Mrs Lovett asked excitedly.

"Yes," he answered, although directing himself at me rather than Mrs Lovett. "The moment you are prepared, we shall be gone."

I smiled cheerfully, nodding.

"I'm ready now, Papa!" I cheered, holding him tightly. He chuckled lowly, then unleashed me.

"Then it is prepared. By tonight, we shall have a home."


	20. Sweeney 10

Johanna seemed not to enjoy her new home. It was strange, as she had had no trouble at all staying in a rented flat. If it were not for Mrs Lovett's constant pestering I should not have bothered. Though, it was for my own sake as well. With more rooms than we were used to, finally I would have a moment in piece with my daughter.

That is, as soon as she could calm herself.

I could only be grateful that her madness was now limited to twitching and the occasional burst of anger. More often than not it was Mrs Lovett who would say the smallest thing to agitate her. For this, I did not detest her, but kept a sharp eye on her words. There was little chance of this, though, as she forever spent her time on the deck that sat at the back of the house, holding Toby as if he would run off again.

Toby still could not stand me. It was not much different for me either. I still could not see the reason why she loved him so dearly. The thing looked like a sewer rat that had been shaved of all hair but that on the top of it's head. Johanna did not seem to fond of him either, but then again did not seem to notice him. To her, the world simply faded away softly.

Except for me.

If life could not become any worse, then at least I had Johanna to ease that emptiness. It was sad to say that I had become almost used to her finally by my side, yet each day she lifted my spirits until I could finally feel the warmth of life within me. Though it came at a price.

Any pleasure I gained was almost torn from me with the guilt and pain that was received as Johanna would look into my eyes desperately.

"It's too frightening," she would repeat, over and over again. She would often repeat it so fervently that I would have to carry her to her room as she thrashed in my arms. I never once found out what was too frightening for her, and by God I wished I knew. That same, pained face she cast in my direction tortured me.

Yet I still found the will to carry on looking back into those eyes. It was as if I had been placed back in my prison cell. You had only a few painful moments to pass through before you could safely say that you could face anything. It had not taken me as long as I had before to become used to this.

How horrific must my life have been to compare my own daughter- my flesh and blood- to a prison cell where I had once lost sanity myself in some ways. It was a mystery how I dared think in such ways.

I must admit, I was quite relieved when Johanna had finally fallen into a slumber from which I prayed she should be able to calm herself. A week had gone by, and she had not gained the peace I hoped she would. For a while, I would watch her after her eyes had shut. She twitched constantly, muttering to herself even in her sleep. All of it was absolute nonsense, of course.

Although, I truly smiled when I heard her address me even in her dreams. The way she spoke was pitiful, and left little more than a true remorse in my breast. It was all I could do not to wake her in search for her awakened insanity, a much less distressing sight.

Somehow, my wishes for her to open here eyes again were always less enjoyable than I had hoped they were. Her immediate smile directed towards me lived a very short life, and soon dithered into an anxious frown. Once again, my day of tired soothing would pursue, and it would only end in bitter disappointment as well.

Johanna still refused to calm herself as the days went by. If anything, her conditions became worse. My rising vexation only soared as Mrs Lovett spoke freely of the madhouse.

"Yeh know she'd barely notice, love," she said as sweetly as she could muster as she attempted to force breakfast upon me. A near-growling sound emitted through my throat.

"She's right here," I said, nodding towards her sharply. Mrs Lovett sighed, walked towards my daughter and waved a hand in front of her eyes.

Nothing.

"I don't think she knows even I'm 'ere."

"I know very well you're here."

"Don't fuss against me, love, I'm only telling yeh what yeh already know."

"She is not going back there," I said firmly, reaching forward and holding Johanna's hand. It was limp and lifeless, but the fingers gripped me ever so lightly that only I could sense it.

"Times are changing, love. She might find somewhere nice."

"Times never change, Mrs Lovett."

"'ow do yeh suppose we got 'ere then?" she asked.

"Personal matters," I replied simply.

"And 'ow about _you_?"

"What about me?"

"Yeh've gotten 'ere somehow, 'aven't yeh? Times change," she finished firmly.

"She still isn't going," I said again, firmer than I had before. Johanna flinched slightly as my own hand gripped hers tightly. I loosened it quickly, moving to her side and cradling her in my arms. Mrs Lovett watched over us for a moment, her hands on her hips.

"We've gotten past the point of arguing."

"Would you do it to Toby?" I asked severely, not even looking up.

There was an echoing silence about the room. The only thing to be heard was the soft murmuring that came from Johanna's unmoving lips. I watched Mrs Lovett carefully, watching as her face went pale. She cleared her throat and then spun on her heel, leaving the room without another word.

I nodded contentedly, rocking Johanna slightly more. Again, there was a moment of silence. I almost jumped out of my skin when the silence was broken.

"What's a madhouse?"

"I thought you were sleeping," I lied flawlessly, looking at her. She smiled slightly as she looked up at me.

"No. What's a madhouse?"

"I couldn't possibly explain that all now, dear."

"We have all the time in the world."

"How I wish that were so."

Johanna only looked at me with a deep curiosity in her eyes, and so I was reduced to a sigh and a nod of the head.

"A madhouse is where those without hearts send people without sanity."

"Sanity being?"

"A right of mind."

Johanna twitched slightly in my embrace. I expected her to start becoming quite frustrated, but she seemed content with the reasoning I had given to her. Her curiosity was not satisfied though.

"What would that ever have to do with me, Papa?"

I said nothing, and Johanna soon started to become restless.

"You aren't answering me," she reminded me.

"There really is nothing to say."

"Why was Mrs Lovett asking to send me there, Papa?" She seemed in earnest for the information, but it was unbearable to think about giving her it.

"You must understand that Mrs Lovett can be quite nonsensical."

"Then what did she mean?"

"Johanna," I began, and then bit my tongue. Breathing out quietly, I rose. All of a sudden, the questioning had become too much for me and I needed the freedom of solitude again. Johanna held my arm hopefully, but I was forced to shake it away.

"Papa?"

"Mrs Lovett will take care of you for a short while, Johanna."

"Papa, where are you going?"

I said not another word, and instead closed the door behind me, regretting every step as I took it. It took little time before I could persuade Mrs Lovett to stay by Johanna. She seemed repentant for her speech beforehand, and was quick to do anything I wished.

I did not wander far. Although, I made very sure it was far enough that I was nowhere near the sandy beach that backed onto the house. That was a ground for Mrs Lovett and her little Toby. I refused to go near it. Instead, I sought my thoughts in the marketplace. There was little to think about, but it was the only place that I was sure not to be hassled.

However I tried, I would always think back to Johanna. I had hoped to reminisce about my Lucy, but no matter how I tried I could not find anything to think of.

"_Mr T, tell me. What did yehr Lucy look like?"_

"_She had…yellow hair."_

Those words still rang clear in my ears.

"_Time to move on, Mr T. We could 'ave a 'ome together. You and me."_

I uttered a low growl.

I remembered looking at her clearly at that point. Dear God, how blind I had been. For a moment, I had considered her proposals. Yet I could not have done so. I would never have been able to find my daughter again if I hadn't.

The moment Anthony- I cursed his name as I thought it- had returned to the shop, though, I was glad to have been distracted. I cursed my own name for letting my mind wander from my dear Lucy, my own little Johanna. My family.

I sighed, stopping still in the place I had said this in my mind. It was all I could think about.

I turned, looking back at the path I had just taken. There was no question in my mind that I should turn back. Who knew how much time had passed? Time became next to nothing after fifteen years. I spun on my heel and turned back towards the house. I dared not call it _my_ house. It would never be so.

My pace was considerably slower than it had been when I ran from the house. I was in no rush at all to get back. All that awaited me was yet another cry of despair from my daughter's lips. I clenched my fists simply thinking about it.

There was a sound about the air before I had even reached the door. It did not trouble me severely. I knew very well that the small crashes I heard were created by Johanna, and that she did not dare harm herself. Lord knows I had seen her try, and she had failed without much of my coercing.

I almost smiled to myself as I thought of Mrs Lovett in the room. It very well served her right. If she wished to be rid of madness then she should not act it herself. As I opened the door, the noise was almost horrendous.

"Mr T?" Mrs Lovett called above the noise.

All of a sudden, there was silence.

Mrs Lovett came rushing out of one of the room further down the hallway, closing the door behind her.

"Mr T, yeh're finally 'ere!"

"Is Johanna in there?"

"Yes, love, but I need to-"

"Why would you lock her in there?" I asked, pushing her aside as I made my way towards the room.

"Listen to me, love-"

"Not now, I need to see her."

"No, yeh-"

"What is the matter, Mrs Lovett?" I finally asked, turning sharply so that she tumbled towards me slightly. She straightened herself out, looking at me with teary eyes.

"There's something…wrong with 'er."

"You only complained this morning about that," I said sourly, attempting to turn again. Mrs Lovett grabbed my arm, forcing me to look at her. Her eyes were brimmed with tears.

"I promise, Mr T, I didn't do anything to 'er. Never could, never will. I only tried to change 'er from that 'orrid gown she's been wearing. She tore it in one of 'er fits while you were gone. As I tried to, it was inescapable."

"What was, Mrs Lovett?"

She tried to speak, but could not. Her tears were now framing her face. I grabbed her shoulder, shaking her slightly.

"What happened, Mrs Lovett?"

Shakily, she moved my hands from her shoulders, and opened the door carefully. She entered the room where Johanna had only just been shut in. I followed after her, my mind racing. At first, I did not understand what the fuss had been about. There was a mark on the wall where I assume Johanna had thrown something, and she was crouching on the floor in a thick, woollen nightgown.

"I don't understand," I whispered.

Johanna looked up quickly, and upon seeing me smiled.

"Papa!" she cried, jumping to her feet to embrace me. She was stopped, though, by Mrs Lovett, who held her firmly at the shoulders.

Mrs Lovett held her breath, biting her lower lip. Johanna only looked confused.

"I'm sorry, love," she said to me, and then lowered the shoulders of Johanna's nightgown. The clothing fell to the floor lightly, and for a moment I scowled. What on earth was the woman doing?

Then I understood.

I looked over my daughter's pale, naked body, and gasped in shock.

There lay the evident signs of a swollen stomach.

It was not much, but it was enough.

Johanna was with child.


	21. Johanna 11

I sat on the edge of my bed, mumbling to myself. Papa had forbid me from sitting about on the floor for some reason or another. Mrs Lovett watched over me again, yet I dared not look at her. If it were possible, I hated her more than ever now.

Only hours ago she had frightened me to my core. She simply came up to me and started to fiddle with my clothes. I could see the imprints she had left, red as rubies or blood. I could only say I was glad when Papa had come back to me.

I wanted to cling onto the happy memory when Papa had come back. Not long after he had seen me he ran off again. I had tried to grab at him but instead I was forced to stay with Mrs Lovett. All she did was stand there, ignoring everything but me. Her eyes were filled slightly with tears, and her lower lip was tucked under her top row of teeth. I feared soon enough that she should bleed.

For once, there were no voices attempting to burst through my lips, and instead I could only leave them in my head. All of them spoke out for Papa. I desperately did not want to be left in this room, but I had no other choice. I knew it was what Papa had wished, but I did not want it to be so.

Soon enough, I heard the ruckus that took place outside. Both I and Mrs Lovett looked up, I smiling, she beholding a look of great agitation. I could not fathom it. I assumed she loved Papa as much as I did.

Suddenly, I became frightened. I clutched my gown around me, wishing to grip onto something- anything- to gain my setting.

Papa was shouting.

I closed my eyes fiercely, listening. I could have sworn there was a second pair of footsteps. I paid no attention to the second sound, and instead simply tried to distinguish which was Papa's.

All of a sudden, the door flew open, bouncing off the wall due to the force of it. I opened one of my eyes, peering over the top of my knees which were tucked, as usual, under my chin. There before me stood Papa. He was grasping a young man's upper arm, and with a single movement threw him to the floor before me.

I heard the wince that came from him. I looked up fearfully at Papa, not fully understanding the rage on his face.

"Papa?" I whispered in terror, shaking. The man looked up at me, his own eyes wide and terrified.

"Johanna?"

I ignored him, still looking at Papa.

"Papa, who is he?"

Although I was sure he had heard my words, Papa did not answer me. Instead, he only looked at the man, who in turn stared at me.

"Mr Todd, I demand to know why I have been brought here," he said shakily.

Growling, Papa moved towards me and pulled me to my feet. I yelped in surprise, having never been handled in such a way by him. At this, the man stood to his feet.

"What are you doing?"

"Showing you the exact reason why you are free," Papa said cruelly, pulling down at my nightgown in the same fashion that Mrs Lovett had. I struggled for a moment. I may not have been able to comprehend many things, but I knew to be embarrassed at this moment in time. I struggled, but Papa's hold on me was firm. The man could only stare at me, his eyes darting from my stomach, to my face, and finally to Papa's.

"How could you?"

"I have told you, Anthony, I would not. The thought is sickening." Papa wrapped his arms around me, embracing me softly as if to make up for his behaviour. "This is your doing and yours alone."

"But…" The man stood slightly straighter, looking into my eyes.

"Papa, what's going on?" I asked quietly, turning my head to look at him.

Before he could answer me, the man placed his hands on my cheeks, turning my head so as to look at him.

"Johanna, what are you talking about?"

"Papa," I said warily, my voice hushed to a whisper at this point. Papa pushed the man's hands away from my, and unleashed me to grab his upper arm again.

"You'll very soon learn not to vex her," he said as he dragged the man out. I moved out of the way as he attempted to reach for me, yet failed miserably in doing so. I watched them as they left, and shook as the door slammed closed.

"There, there, love," said Mrs Lovett quietly. I jumped up as I heard her speak. I had entirely forgotten she was there. Mrs Lovett picked my gown from the floor and in a swift movement had me dressed again. I watched her for a moment, only moving to turn my head as she walked.

"I'll just check on yeh father," she said in a hushed voice.

At this, I finally moved my feet.

"Please, may I see him again?" I asked earnestly.

"No, love, it's best yeh stay in 'ere for the time being."

I grabbed for Mrs Lovett's arm, attempting to follow her out, but did not expect her to be so fast as to escape me. Once the door was closed, I fell to the floor in defeat, folding my arms in front of me huffily. I saw no reason why she should have been in command of me.

Finally, the thought came to me that she had not in fact locked the door, and instead simply closed it. I smiled to myself, and sprang to my feet. It took no trouble at all leaving the room, but I had not a clue where to begin looking for Papa.

I began to feel agitated all of a sudden, looking about me several times. I hated this house ever since I had arrived, and nothing such as this situation would make me any more at home.

To my delight, there came a small sound from further down the corridor. I walked towards it, not entirely sure of what the sound was. As I came closer to it, I realised that it was the sound of voices. I smiled, hearing Papa's. Although, this smile decreased as I heard a more severe tone.

"I haven't an idea how you dare complain of the situation, Anthony."

"I only wish to know what it is you seem to be thinking," replied the voice of the man who I had met minutes ago. "There has always been a plan up your sleeve and God damn it I'm going to find out."

"There may be no trick at this point," Papa said. "You are the cause of all of this trouble, and you would have to be here for this not to destroy her."

I looked through the crack of the door to see the two men conversing. Papa's face was calmer than it had been before. Yet he was almost mocking the other man in the way he spoke.

"I daresay you've done enough damage," the man said bravely, although he seemed to back away as he said it. Papa only sneered.

"The damage you speak of is a mystery to me."

"You know very well what I am talking about. Her madness is evident even to me."

I winced.

"She simply requires a little more teaching. Johanna lost her way a little bit."

"Are you a fool," the man asked passionately. "You've done something to her and now she has no more teachings in her mind than a child!"

"A child who I planned to care for, until you utterly ruined everything."

"I ruined nothing! We would have been long gone by now if not for you, and she would not be mad as she is now."

At this, I could take no more. I pushed the door open, trembling with anger.

"How dare you!" I screamed at him, moving at my best speed towards him. Papa grabbed me by the shoulders, although I could not help but try to struggle against him.

"Johanna, calm yourself."

"But you just heard him! He-"

"Hush now," Papa whispered into my ear. I whimpered with annoyance, but finally stood still. I bowed my head, shaking. I dared not- and very well wished not to- look at the man. There was a silence about the room until Papa finally spoke again.

"I can not fathom how you find this my own deed," he said through what sounded like gritted teeth. "Can you not see what is right in front of your eyes, boy?"

I shut my eyes tightly, only listening. Hours seemed to pass, until suddenly there was movement. The man who I closed my eyes to avoid moved my hair out from my face and place a hand under my chin, lifting it so that I faced him.

"Am I not forgiven?" he asked with a smile.

I pressed my lips together tightly, and then fled from the room. I could no longer stand it, and thought that my solitude was the only way to find peace. My breath was heavy, and as I sat again on the edge of my bed I could only try to catch it again.

I haven't a clue how long I had been left sitting by myself, but it felt far too long by the time someone knocked upon my door again. I lifted my head, suddenly alert.

"Papa?"

The door opened, and the strange man appeared. I tucked my knees under my chin, wrapping my arms around my legs. I stared at him, frowning.

"Why are you here?"

"To be forgiven."

I lowered my head, not looking at him. He sighed and moved to sit by me. I did nothing to stop him, but wriggled away from his hand as it reached for mine.

"You do not remember me at all?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Not the slightest?"

"Should I?" I asked quietly.

"By all rights you should, but perhaps we are not…acquainted well enough." The man straightened himself, offering his hand to me.

"Anthony Hope," he said directly, smiling at me.

At this, I looked up at him. My eyes were wide and earnest.

"Your name is Anthony?"

"Is there hope?" he asked, mostly muttering to himself. "You recognise me?"

I did not reply at this point, but instead looked down at my hand. I smiled widely, and showed him my fingers. At first, he did not seem to understand. Impatiently, I pointed at the golden ring that lay on one of them.

"You gave me this, didn't you?"

Anthony opened his mouth, but not a word came out. I giggled lightly.

"If it wasn't you, it was someone awfully like you."

"Yes! Yes, it was me!"

He took my hand and placed it next to his. My smile grew as I saw he wore the same ring.

"It's the same!" I cried in delight. Anthony nodded slowly, chuckling to himself. For a moment, he looked at me sincerely. I barely noticed it, and instead stared at our rings. Soon, though, I started to frown.

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"Why what, Johanna?"

"The rings. Why are they the same?"

Anthony bit his lower lip, then shook his head.

"It is a story for another time."

"I wish to know it now."

Again, he shook his head.

"Another time," he repeated firmly.

I pouted, irritated. Anthony stared at me for a moment, and then smiled slightly, wrapping his arms around me. I did not struggle from him now. I instead allowed him to rock me gently, as if I were a child. He hummed a little tune into my ear, one that seemed so distant to me now. Yet somehow…I remembered it.

"_Do they think that walls can hide you? Even now I'm at your window…_"

I sighed happily, resting my head on his shoulder.

"_I am in the dark beside you…sweetly buried in your yellow hair…Johanna…"_

I listened intently to the little song, daring not to not listen to it. As he sang, I realised my natural compelling urge to love this man.


	22. Sweeney 11

I was restless after Anthony had left for Johanna's company. There had been not a fuss sounding from the room, and so I knew very well he was finally accepted. Mrs Lovett stayed warily by my side, having sent Toby from the room after he tried to gain entrance.

"He shouldn't even be here," I said repeatedly.

"Yeh're the one that paid 'is bail, love."

"This should never have happened!"

"I'm not arguing with yeh on that."

I scowled at her, then paced the floor.

"Can I just ask, Mr T-"

"What?"

Mrs Lovett bit her lip, looking at me through lowered lashes. I could tell immediately she was embarrassed.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Just…why? Why'd yeh let the boy out?"

I sneered, folding my arms. For a moment, I and Mrs Lovett stared at each other. Not a word passed between us, and instead there simply stood a silence to pain the ears. Finally, I chuckled darkly.

"My last cruel deed, I should think."

"What do yeh mean, love?"

"I've given up on any such cruelties as murder. You can't have a daughter and still think it appropriate," I added in an almost explanation.

"I don't understand."

"There is still something in the world that must be taught. This is a lesson that should forever be placed in his mind."

Mrs Lovett nodded slowly, although I doubt she knew what I spoke of. I sighed.

"The only way I could ever have learnt these lessons was by losing my dearest possessions."

"Johanna?"

"And Lucy."

She nodded, and then suddenly her eyes widened.

"Yeh don't mean-"

"Indeed, I do."

"But I thought yeh'd never do that to another man! Never!"

"He has been freed from prison, and I intend never to send a man there again."

"Then…what?"

"We move."

"Move?" she inquired, confused.

"The moment Johanna's child is born- my grandchild- we shall leave. He shall never know."

Mrs Lovett shuffled her feet uneasily. I could see the regret and guilt in her eye. There was something more innocent I could see about her ever since we had moved to the sea. She seemed finally at peace, and this was the emotion that had come of this newfound purity. I had to say, it was pitiful.

"You have seen men carved and served up for meals, Mrs Lovett," I reminded her. "I think it wise of you not to become mournful of this idea."

"Never dream of it, Mr T," she said quietly.

"Make sure you don't," I warned her, turning to the door.

"Do yeh think it best to disturb them now?" Mrs Lovett asked me timidly before I touched the door handle.

"Johanna has not been quiet for so long without being asleep ever since…" I stopped, then carried on out of the door. Mrs Lovett did not follow me, and the last I saw of her was a melancholy feature upon her face.

For a strange, fleeting moment, I could not help but pity her.

This passed as I walked on to Johanna's room. I did not bother knocking on the door, but found that I didn't have to. Johanna was, as I presumed, fast asleep. I was stopped in my tracks, though, at the close proxemics between my daughter and Anthony. It seemed that she had already taken such a liking to him that she allowed him to embrace her.

Anthony looked up as I had walked in, having been staring at Johanna.

"Mr Todd, sir, what are you doing here?"

"This is my house, I should think I can go where I wish."

He said nothing, and instead pulled Johanna closer to his breast, smoothing her hair. I looked down at her, tilting my head.

"She hasn't taken such a liking to anyone so quickly for a while," I mused.

"She hadn't met me yet," Anthony replied smoothly.

"Johanna does not remember you," was the only thing I could say, but I said it with such conviction that he winced.

"I'll have you know she knows much more than you give her credit for."

"I highly doubt that."

Again, Anthony scowled at me, and held out his hand.

"Then explain this. Johanna remembers our marriage to some degree at least."

I stared intently at his ring for a moment, and then shook his head.

"I wish I could believe that."

"She does, Mr Todd."

I shook my head again. It was down near impossible for such to happen, and I did not wish to start believing it now.

"Think what you will, Mr Todd," Anthony said to me coldly, "but it is true."

"Let us not dwell on that. I think it is time you leave her be now."

"No," he said bluntly. I clenched my fist instinctively.

"No?"

"I'm not leaving her now. She's only just drifted to sleep."

"Making it all the easier to leave."

With slight delight, I saw another flash of impatient anger on Anthony's face. He shook his head again.

"Even if I wanted to, she is all too responsive in her sleep. If I moved, she would wake."

"Then awake her if you must, for I don't allow you any more time with her than what I have thought of originally."

Briefly, Johanna stirred in her sleep, simply shifting in Anthony's arms and groaning in annoyance of something. Anthony hurriedly smoothed her hair and hushed her. To my surprise, she immediately sighed happily and was still.

My temper rose slightly, finding myself not the only being in the world now to be able to soothe my daughter. Anthony looked up at me, and seemed to notice my annoyance. At this, he smiled.

"I told you," he reminded me.

"That's neither here nor there. Now go," I added sternly.

"You are in no position to shun me. I refuse to leave my wife or child."

"If I can do it then you can."

"Did you ever leave your unborn child?" he asked curiously.

I froze for a moment. Honestly, there was no point in saying I had. No one would ever believe me, having known Benjamin Barker or not.

"It is in your best interest you do not inquire that."

"I have still proven my point," Anthony said proudly, nodding to show it. I bared my teeth in a low growl.

"Get out now."

Anthony sighed, and reluctantly began to move gently from Johanna's side. She began to stir again, clutching her arms around Anthony's waist. I exhaled frustratedly, and moved towards the two. Carefully, I pulled Johanna from the boy and laid her on her back on the bed. Once standing, Anthony looked at me with a sudden frustration.

"You must always get your own way, mustn't you?" he said sharply.

"If this were my own way you would still be in that prison," I replied.

"Then why free me in the first place?"

Without turning to face him, I smiled to myself. Or, at least, the word sneer would have been more appropriate.

"Why else? If I had had the choice, Johanna never would have grown without me by her side."

There was not another word between us as Anthony left the room in a flurry. I watched as the door closed, then returned my attention to Johanna. She still slept, although it was still evident that her slumber was not as peaceful as it had been before. I ignored this. Why would I wish to concentrate on something that saddened me so?


	23. Johanna 12

When I awoke, Anthony was not by my side. I was, to say the least, aggravated. Papa sat on the floor by my head, stroking my hair softly. As my eyes opened, I saw a soft smile appear on his lips.

"Good morning, Johanna."

"Where's Anthony?" I asked almost immediately. Papa let out a low sigh.

"He is not far off, I can promise you."

I nodded, but was silent, awaiting to finally be told where I may find him specifically. Papa did not seem to wish to tell me, and so we sat in absolute silence for the morning. Mrs Lovett seemed to have brought in a tray of food before I had woken up, and so I was left to eat with only Papa as company.

For some reason or another, I found it was not enough to satisfy me any longer. In fact, I quite forgot a time where it had been enough to calm me. At last, the afternoon came and Anthony's voice came sounding softly at the door. Papa opened his mouth to say something, but I cared not what it was for and instead cheerfully intervened, calling Anthony in.

"I see you are awake," he said, chuckling slightly, moving to sit by me on the bed. As he did so, Papa held up a hand, halting him. I did not know why, but ignored it. I was too busy smiling at my new visitor.

"Papa wouldn't tell me where you were," I said, not even looking at Papa, though. Anthony did not either, but I could see his smile dropped ever so slightly.

"Well, I am here now."

"For how long?" I enquired.

"As long as I can," he replied in a most sincere voice. I clapped my hands in delight, laughing as if I were a child. Anthony smiled, although did not join my laughter. This was a fact I barely noticed, and instead I simply filled my mind with thoughts of conversation rather than thoughts of actual thinking.

"I think there had been enough excitement for one day," Papa said after what seemed only to be a few minutes to me. I shook my head.

"I haven't had nearly enough time to speak," I said.

"Do calm yourself, Johanna.

I sniffed contemptuously, folding my arms.

"I am perfectly calm, Papa."

"Perhaps Anthony is getting slightly tired," he said in an exaggerated manner. I looked at Anthony desperately, but smiled to see him shake his head.

"Not at all, sir. I could stay up all night if need be."

With that, Papa stood frustratedly and left the word without another word. I stared after him questioningly.

"Papa?" I called after him, confused.

"Leave him be," Anthony said softly. "He will come back, I promise."

"Is Papa mad with me?"

"Of course not."

"He seemed it."

Anthony shook his head, placing his arms around me.

"Just…ignore it for a moment. It'll calm you down."

I opened my mouth to protest, but found I could not bother with such. Anthony rocked me gently, talking quietly in my ear. He spoke of little I understood. There were senseless murmurs of babies, rings and senseless little situations I was unfamiliar with.

He spoke for a while of these things. It may have been hours before I finally put my hand on his cheek to stop him.

"Anthony, what are you talking about?"

Anthony chuckled, squeezing me tightly.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"No," I said seriously, pushing him slightly. "What?"

"Well," he said, smiling softly and placing his hand on my stomach. "Us."

I shifted, moving away from him and pushing his hand away from me.

"You're not making any sense."

He sighed mournfully, rising.

"Perhaps it is time that we should summon your supper."

I could only watch as he left the room. Still puzzled over his words, I followed him.

_Sorry, dears! Another filler chapter. I hate having to make these, but otherwise this thing'd be over by now. Next chapter will be coming ASAP and I promise will be better!_


	24. Sweeney 12

It did not take long before Anthony came to find me again. I had heard him fussing over Johanna in the hallway, commanding her to return to her room. There was a slight humour to the situation. I took pride in the fact that she had always listened to me.

The door bounced off the wall as Anthony charged into the room frustratedly.

"You haven't told her!" he exclaimed loudly.

"Told her?"

"About anything!"

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

He sighed frustratedly, pacing the floor. There was slight amusement in watching his own confusion.

"You didn't tell her about our marriage," he said clearly, although his voice trembled with fury. "You didn't tell her about the baby. You've told her nothing."

"And why does that matter?"

Anthony faced me, his eyes alive with fire and his lips pulled back in an angry growl.

"She knows nothing of her past and yet you may stay so still about it!"

"I tell her everything that is necessary to know."

"Yet Johanna knew nothing of my name before I came back!"

"There was no way of telling that you would have been back."

"Certainly there could have been enough warning."

"You know very well that I did not wish for that to be so."

"This is beside the point, Mr Todd. You still will not tell me why you have not told her of anything deemed necessary in my opinion!"

I sighed, and held up a hand to silence Anthony. He stopped, staring at me with hatred, but still silently.

"Do you think that she would understand?" I asked.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Would she understand if you told her you were married?"

"I-"

"Would she understand if you told her she was with child?"

"Perhaps, but-"

"The fact of the matter is, Anthony, she can know nothing because she is incapable of it. I spoke to her of her mother, hoping some message would get through, but none of it works. If she can remember what that ring on her finger stands for then I shall applaud you and God knows, I may even respect you."

Anthony swayed slightly, thinking. He then turned sharply to look away from me.

"I still find no excuse in it."

"Then look harder."

Without a warning to myself, I drew myself to his side and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"She knows enough now," I said quietly. "That is all we can pray for."

He rolled his shoulder, moving my hand away from him. Without another word, he left, still looking towards the floor rather than me. I shook my head, ignoring this. It was yet another meaningless meeting between two men.

Yet, I looked at the hand that had been placed so nonchalantly on Anthony's shoulder. It seemed to have almost stained. I wiped it absent mindedly on my trousers, not even thinking. A sneer appeared on my lips. How could I have done such a thing? It was a mission for the next few months to keep distant from Anthony, never to allow myself to lay a fatherly hand upon him.

And there I had been. My hand upon him, not in a threatening manner at all. I cursed myself for it.

"Mr T?" said a voice at the door. My jaw tightened as I heard Mrs Lovett speaking to me.

"Yes?"

"I was just about to send Toby out to the shops. Was there anything yeh wanted, love?"

"No," I said brusquely, turning away from her again. I did not hear the door close, and simply waited for the sound of her voice again. It did not take too long for it to sound.

"Yeh want to at least come and say goodnight to Johanna?"

"The sailor boy's taking his time with her."

"Yeh must be growing, Mr T," she said brightly. "Letting 'im see 'er."

"I have no choice of it," I said coldly. "Johanna can become so irritable when he is not by her."

"Then why do yeh seem so sad about it? Cheer up."

I stared at her darkly for a moment, watching as the smile upon her face slowly dwindled. She lowered her head, crossing her hands in front of her.

"I'm sorry, Mr T."

"Sorry implies you may fix it," I said. "The damage here can never be solved."

"Yeh said she's better when 'e's with 'er," Mrs Lovett pointed out.

"What good does that do me?"

"Plenty, I should think. Much more tame, just like the Johanna yeh wanted."

"I care not for what state she is in," I said firmly. "She is still Johanna."

"Yeh know I meant no offence."

I did not reply to this, instead ignoring it. Mrs Lovett moved towards me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I looked at it, but did not respond to it.

"'ave yeh ever told 'er that?" she asked me.

"Told her what?"

"Yeh wouldn't 'ave 'er any other way."

"Do you very well think she would understand such if I said so?"

She paused to think, then shook her head.

"I suppose not."

"Remember, I do not need you to tell me how to handle my daughter. I know well enough how to by myself."

"I only-"

"Thought?" I asked lightly, irritated by this point. "Fifteen years to forget how to love a child? You've obviously never loved a child of your own."

Mrs Lovett shuffled her feet slightly, letting her hand drop to her side.

"I love Toby more than yeh think I could love a child, yeh know," she whispered.

"Then do not question my adoration for her again."

"Yeh don't listen to me, Mr T!"

"I listen plenty enough and you seem not to be able to stop making me."

She turned up her nose and moved back to the door.

"I'll just tell Toby yeh didn't want anything."

With that, the door closed, and once again I was only left with my thoughts.


	25. Johanna 13

Anthony agreed at last to not leave me for his petty conversations with Papa. I was still wounded by the fact that Papa had not come to visit me when most of my time had been spent with Anthony, but I was far past the idea of worrying. I was still in the midst of my delight in Anthony's company.

I do not think I slept very much that night. Although the house about us was in deep slumber, Anthony was joyous in teaching me all sorts of things. He spoke of all sorts of small lessons, such as History and French. I pushed aside his attempts at tutoring me, and instead he started to show me all sorts of little tricks.

The most delightful of these tricks that Anthony taught me was a cast of shadows against one of the walls. He placed a candle on the desk I had at the opposite side of the room and formed odd shapes in front of it with his hands. I did not expect such pretty things to appear upon the wall. I clapped in amusement, as if applauding him.

"You must teach me!" I exclaimed excitedly, holding out my own hands. Anthony chuckled and took hold of them. For a moment, he stared at them, his smile more soft than vivacious. This passed quickly, and he positioned my hands in front of the candle's glow.

"It isn't desperately hard, is it?" I asked curiously.

"No, no, of course not."

"Then why does it seem it?"

"Do not think it difficult and it shan't be so," Anthony said, his animated smile returning. His hands encased mine firmly. He stretched my fingers in odd ways, or at least ways odd to me. I did not look at my hands, though, and instead at the shadow that was cast.

I could see that a little dog had appeared on the wall by my own hands. Although this was pleasing enough to me, I concentrated too well on Anthony's shadow. My little dog sat cheerfully while Anthony's fingers seemed to prod it in the silliest of places. I shuddered, noticing his eyes becoming pierced.

"What is it?" he asked gently. I slowly snatched my hands back, putting them on my lap.

"Nothing."

"Johanna? What is the matter?"

"It was…disturbing."

"How so?"

"It just was," I replied abruptly, my voice sharp. Anthony gently placed his hand on mine again, causing me to jump. I disallowed him from touching me until I was certain his intentions were anything but to try little shadows with me again.

"You must finally be tired," he said to me when the moon was at its highest point at my window. I had no clue about time as of that moment, or as of ever if I thought about it, and so could only trust Anthony as he told me it was 'late'.

"I still could not possibly sleep," I told him.

"Then you should be forced."

"Not at all."

"I fear slightly for your health, Johanna," he said timidly.

"Why on earth would you do that?"

"You sleep so little that it's almost terrifying. I myself feel ready to collapse."

"Don't do that!" I said quickly, grabbing his arm. Anthony chuckled.

"I do not mean literally."

I nodded, letting go of him. Anthony stared at me for a moment, but then sighed resignedly.

"I'm not going to be able to get you to sleep, am I?"

"Nope."

He smiled again, placing his arms around me. Gladly, I rested my head on his chest, listening intently for his heartbeat. It was soothing, almost enough to send me to sleep. I refused to let it, though, as I wished instead to savour my moments in contact with others.

Slowly, I felt Anthony begin to slouch slightly, until finally his head rested on the wall behind him, a soft snoring sounding through the room. I smiled, putting a hand on the top of his head. He did not stir, and so I moved my hand away. For a while, I simply sat on my pillow at the end of the bed, my knees tucked under my chin. I could only watch him as he slept.

The night took little time to finally turn into day again. My eyes had never once left Anthony, and I very much doubt I had even blinked. Not that I would have noticed either way. Anthony's eyes started to flutter slightly, opening slowly. He looked at me for a second, a smile creeping upon his lips.

"Good morning."

"Anthony, you sleep a lot," I said observationally.

"It has only been-" Anthony paused, and then sighed. "You didn't go to sleep, did you?"

"Nope."

He pressed his lips together firmly, thinking. Finally, he rose again to his feet, stretching.

"You must be hungry, at least."

I nodded eagerly, jumping off the bed and taking his arm. Anthony laughed, entertained, and led me from the room. I savoured the idea of leaving my bedroom. My meals had been handed to me through the door, either by Papa or Anthony. Life seemed to go just as this for so long that I had not seen most of the house. Happily, I refused to tour it.

Papa was sitting at the table when we arrived to the kitchen. He looked at us the moment we came into the room, nodding towards Anthony. As for me, I was greeted with little more vehement.

"Good morning, Johanna."

"Papa!" I said excitedly, skipping towards him. I flung my arms around his neck, giggling. "You have not come to visit me in so long!"

"I have been busy," he said simply.

"Then you must stop being busy. I've seen nothing of you for days!"

He did not say another word to me, but did not push me away from him. I smiled on, watching Anthony as he manoeuvred about the room. Within what seemed moments, he had set a bowl of porridge in front of me. I did not think much about my actions, and so quickly ate the bowlful without breath.

"You were hungry?" he commented lightly when I had finished. I only nodded earnestly, too occupied with my thoughts to actually speak. I stared at Papa, waiting for him to talk to me. To urge him, I pressed my palm on his shoulder, trying to shake him. He looked on, not directing his attention to me at all.

"Papa?"

"Yes, Johanna?"

"You're not talking to me at all, Papa."

Papa sighed, finally moving, but only to push me away from him. He left the room without another word. I wished dearly to follow him, but Anthony placed his hand on mine to stop me.

"It is best you leave him be," he told me quietly. "He needs to think."

"He can think in one place," I said. "You do not need to go anywhere else to think."

"Have patience, Johanna." Anthony smiled at me, pulling me towards him gently. I was silent, unmoving, until finally I shook my head.

"No, I don't want patience," I said firmly. "Papa had said not a word to me lately and I don't know why!"

"Your father has just been busy, I'm sure."

I gritted my teeth, pushing Anthony away from me and uttering a low, frustrated groan. Without thinking, I batted the stool I had been sitting on with such a force that it crashed to the floor. Anthony rose to his feet quickly, his arms ready to take hold of me again.

"He's not busy!" I said erratically, my voice raising. "Papa does not work! Papa can not be busy!"

"Johanna, please," he said pleadingly, taking hold of my hand. I quickly snatched it back, flinging my arm across the table top and pushing the bowl to the floor. Anthony attempted once again to take hold of me, but I could not allow it.

"You're not telling me the truth!"

"I'm telling you everything that you need to know," Anthony said sincerely.

"I'm not being told anything!" My voice had risen until I was almost shrieking at this point. The kitchen door opened in almost an instant and Mrs Lovett, followed by the Toby lad, rushed in.

"What's going on 'ere? I 'eard a ruckus of some sort."

"Mrs Lovett, please, take her arm." I turned sharply to face Anthony, blushing with rage.

"She very well will not!"

As I said it, Mrs Lovett had indeed taken hold of my arm, and in my distraction Anthony had taken my other. I screamed out in protest, but the two of them ignored me. I could not help but be dragged back to my room, again to be locked away. All through it, I screamed for Papa.


	26. Sweeney 13

It was not the first time I had heard Johanna scream out for me, leaving me helpless by my own choice. I refused to allow myself to go back to her. What emotion would be shown to me? Simply a fretted frustration. Pacing the floor, I could only listen as she shrieked. Listen as Mrs Lovett slammed the door after her. Listen as Anthony broke down in tears of anguish.

At least I was not alone in my helplessness.

I shuddered, irritated with myself again for associating myself with him in my own mind. Slowly, the thoughts began to leave me, and I was left again only with the pain of remembering Johanna's screams.

"Love?" sounded a voice from the door. Yet again I was left with only Mrs Lovett for company.

"Is she back in her room?"

"I suppose yeh 'eard, then," she said softly. "Yeah, she's in 'er room. The sailor boy's waiting around with Toby in the parlour."

"He's not with Johanna?"

"The boy 'asn't seen 'er 'ave a fit like that before. Probably overwhelmed 'im a bit."

For a moment, I did not respond. There was that moment's silence required simply to ponder over Johanna, alone in her room.

"Are you sure he is not with her now?"

Mrs Lovett shuffled her feet slightly, awkwardly.

"Yeh'll only see 'er if she's alone?"

"I don't wish to be in the same room, acknowledging the competition."

"Johanna was wanting you even while she 'ad Anthony."

"She'll have to learn," I said almost cruelly. Mrs Lovett jumped slightly.

"Yeh were only arguing with me the other day over 'er situation."

"That was utterly different." I walked towards the door, attempting to leave to finally see my daughter again. Mrs Lovett grabbed my sleeve at the last second, looking at me seriously.

"It'll be different when I say so. Yeh told me yeh loved 'er more than I loved my Toby, and I'd never say anything so bloody cruel about 'im!"

"Then you too will have to learn a few lessons."

"Well, yeh seem to 'ave set me straight on a few things, ain't yeh?"

I blinked, slightly stunned. A bright red colour had came to Mrs Lovett's once pale cheeks, her hair seemed to become even more frizzy simply with her irritation. I could not think of anything to say, but instead pushed her hand away from me, sighing irritably.

"Yeh know I'm right," she told me the moment she lost her grip on me.

"I know that you are impossibly stubborn, and I know it is in your best interest for you to leave your nose out of it."

"Mr T, yeh're forgetting everything yeh ever wanted! Everything yeh told me yeh wanted," she added, her voice trembling. I paused, taking a brief moment to contemplate. The moment, though, was only that: brief. I left the room, no longer thinking of Mrs Lovett's words, but instead on the fact that finally I would be able to see my daughter in peace.

Somehow, the space between my private study and Johanna's bedroom had become longer. I cared not, though. At last, I had made it to her door without thought of turning back. If I were to be struck dead at that moment I would not have cared. I had least made it so far.

"Johanna?" I said in a hushed voice as I opened the door. Johanna sat there, cross legged, fiddling with her hair on the bed. The moment she heard my voice, she jumped to her feet and bound across the room, wrapping her arms around me.

"Papa! I thought you would not come!"

Rather than weeping, Johanna laughed as a child, still clinging to me as if it had been months rather than days since we had seen each other. I returned her embrace, simply standing there a moment as she giggled.

"Johanna, you look as if you have not rested in days," I exclaimed when finally I pulled her away from me. She shook her head.

"I don't think I have."

"Anthony was supposed to-"

"Don't worry, Papa," she said cheerfully. "He got tired and went to sleep. Everything worked out."

I could not fathom the smile on her face. I do not think that she understood what I had meant to say, and yet she seemed pleased enough to have soothed any fears she thought I had.

"You are going to have to sleep sooner or later." As I spoke, my eyes wandered down to her stomach. Somehow, it had grown ever so slightly. Johanna seemed not to notice it, but I feared it would not be long before she did. Even in her insanity, she was not silly. Soon enough, she would find out.

"Papa, I am not tired. I will sleep when I am."

"Then _be_ tired," I said. Johanna only laughed and skipped back to her bed, sitting as she had before, but instead smiling rather than awkwardly fiddling with her hair.

I watched my daughter for a short time, then sighed in a slightly frustrated tone. As I should have expected, she had not at all groomed herself. I doubt that she would have allowed Anthony to do so either. I took hold of the hairbrush I had left pointedly on her dresser the last time I had seen her . Obviously, there was not a single sign of it having been used.

"Come, it is time you finally had your hair combed."

"I never leave the house," she reminded me bitterly. "What use have I for brushed hair?"

"Plenty enough as long as I say you do."

Johanna pouted frustratedly, holding onto a lock of her hair, as if such would protect her. My lip twitched, the closest sign I had to a smile for quite a while. I sat beside her, trying to manoeuvre around Johanna so as to be able to reach her hair. Unfortunately, she had become quite smart enough to fidget.

"I can do it myself," she finally said irritably. I nodded triumphantly, handing her the brush. Johanna lightly made her way to her window, sitting on the ledge and staring at me one last time before finally raking the brush through her hair.

Still sitting on the edge of the bed, I surveyed Johanna for a while. She barely noticed, only looking at me twice, each time smiling simply and poking her tongue at me. I chuckled to myself, admiring her slightly in the way she could still be so carefree. Of course, it came at a price.

While watching Johanna, a thought came to my mind. Finally, I had the family I had wished for since I had come back to London. My pretty little girl, beautiful and pale, the way I'd dreamed she was. My Johanna, sitting by the window, just like her mother…

At this thought, I jumped to my feet.

_Pretty women…_

Johanna stared at me, smiling slightly.

_Sitting in the window, or combing out their hair…_

Clenching my fists, gritting my teeth, my decision was hasty.

_Something in them cheers the air…_

"I will only be a short while," I said hurriedly, reaching the door in a matter of strides.

"Papa?"

I heard Johanna's light footsteps behind me, and so quickly closed the door behind me, my fists tightening as I heard her soft knock on the door, becoming more rapid by the second.

"Papa, what is the matter? Papa, please, speak to me!"

My intentions were not to listen to her any longer. I could not listen, lest I should have done something I would regret. I stumbled towards the parlour, confused and desolate in my mind. For a bleak second, I feared for my own sanity. I had to grip onto it, though. One false movement and I would be left in the same state as my dear Johanna.

As I had hoped, Mrs Lovett sat in the parlour, Toby sitting on her lap. Anthony sat across the room, a dark look in his eye which became increasingly darker as I walked in. Toby and Mrs Lovett looked up from the book they had been reading together. _She_ smiled while _he_ seemed to cower in fear. With all three staring at me in such a varying way, a normal man would have crept out of the room without another word.

I was not a normal man.

"You," I said lowly, directing myself to Anthony. "Johanna's alone."

Taking this immediately as invitation, Anthony rose from his seat and was out of the room within seconds. He said not another word, but as he passed me I could hear his breath had become much quicker. I uttered a low growl, audible only to me, but ignored him. My head snapped to Toby.

"You can follow him," I added briskly. Toby looked slowly towards Mrs Lovett, waiting for permission. She smiled softly at him.

"Go on, love."

Slowly, Toby nodded and the two rose. Toby did not look me in the eye as he left, but there was no doubt he was uneasy. Again, I could not truthfully say I cared. Once the boy was gone, there was silence between I and the woman across the room from me. She cleared her throat after a short time, as if trying to awaken me from my trance like state.

"Mr T? Yeh wanted something, love?"

"In certain words, you could assume so," I said simply before I walked to her, and within the second I had her encased in my arms, my mouth crushed upon hers. Mrs Lovett struggled out of pure shock, but soon she began to soften. Although, when I say soften, she began to respond in an almost beastly fashion.

"Mr T!" she gasped breathily when she finally turned her head to breathe. I brutally twisted my fingers into her hair, bringing her lips back to mine. Mrs Lovett did much the same thing, almost making sure that I could not leave.

"Yeh mean- yeh mean we're gonna be married, Mr T?" she asked, panting by this point.

"Whatever you say."

"We'll be a family! Like- like I said, Mr T, won't we?"

"Whatever you say," I repeated, almost snarling it, anything to keep her quiet. It seemed almost impossible. She was far too excitable.

Mrs Lovett refused to leave my side that evening. She babbled on about different plans for the wedding, occasionally grabbing my shirt and pulling me into another long, desperate kiss. I barely listened to her. Not that I had to, of course. She did not notice that I had not moved the entire evening. She did not notice that any kisses bestowed on her were as listless as her precious daisies in winter.

I no longer could summon the strength to try and make an effort. Besides, it was not for Mrs Lovett that I would allow this marriage to take forth. It was for Johanna. Finally, she would have a mother figure, whether she knew it or not. She would finally have the family she had desired for fifteen years as I had.

And by God, she was finally going to have a father who she was not in danger of.


	27. Johanna 14

Papa regularly visited me after that day, but it seemed that the visits were becoming shorter and shorter. I cared not for why I was still locked away in the single room, why there was always someone there. But there was, and I simply wished the Papa would be the one to be there more often. Not to say that I had become any less fond of Anthony.

The Toby lad seemed to follow Anthony more often nowadays. Only a few days had gone by since Papa had visited me again, but I was too shocked about Toby actually visiting me that time seemed nothing any more. I could not help but notice that the lad did not seem to find me as interesting as I found him. It was tedious, but I ignored it.

"Why is Papa still so busy?" I asked quietly to Anthony as I slowly flipped the pages of the book he had handed me.

"Oh, simple business, I'm sure. He had spoken a long time to Mrs Lovett."

At this, Toby twitched slightly. Both of us stared at him, but then turned back to each other.

"Why would he want to speak to Mrs Lovett, Anthony? She isn't nearly all that interesting."

"I really haven't a clue, Johanna," he said tiredly. I remembered in that instant that I had asked this question several times in the past hour, word for word. I was far too busy with my book to pay attention to it thought.

My finger absent-mindedly wound a lock of hair around it, letting it spring loose again, then repeating this action again. Anthony calmly tried to push my hand away several times, but each time I simply did it again. Soon enough, he lost hope and instead carefully wrapped his arms around me, rocking me gently as we read together.

Toby watched us, I could tell. I did not know why, although I was not unnerved. The words on the page in front of me were distracting, so I could only observe my surroundings without much opinion. Anthony's eyes darted from me to the book to Toby, repeating this. Of course, he watched me most of all.

Our days went by in this fashion for a week or so. Each day Papa seemed to become more and more melancholy. I did not ask why. I was still content enough in knowing he was there. Mrs Lovett would often pop into the room as well, but with enough coercing she finally would leave.

"Why must she always follow you about?" I asked him as casually as I could summon.

"There are certain reasons."

"But what are they?"

Papa sighed resignedly, not answering. I pulled his sleeve lightly, easily impatient.

"Papa, please, what are the reasons?"

"I don't suppose you remember your mother, do you?"

I paused, thinking deeply. Closing my eyes and putting my clenched fists to my temples, I concentrated hard on the question. Gently, Papa nudged me.

"Johanna?"

Immediately, I looked up, my hands again on my lap, a smile on my face.

"I do."

"Excuse me?"

"I do remember," I said firmly. Papa looked at me, his eyebrows raised.

"Now, Johanna, you don't."

"But I do!"

"No, you-"

"I do," I repeated, my tone more earnest.

"It's quite impossible, Johanna. You were only a baby."

"So? I remember she had yellow hair, like mine."

Papa shook his head.

"I showed you a picture of her."

"But, that doesn't mean-" I stammered my words, trying to grasp at a memory- any memory. It was of no use. Most of memories had gone. I knew of nothing much before a few weeks ago. I found it was a limit I could not surpass. Once one week had gone, a week of thoughts erased from my mind.

The full impact of these thoughts appeared, and finally they became all too much. Tears poured from my cheeks, and I muttered through quiet sobs.

"I can remember!" I murmured intently. "I can, I can, I can!"

"Hush, now, Johanna. You need not fear. I never expected you to remember." Papa soothingly rocked me, trying to calm me. It would not work, though. I knew deep down that I could remember my mother. I just did not know how I could remember, or what about her I could summon to memory.

I detested myself for that moment. What sort of a fool could not remember their parent? The woman who gave life to them? I knew I was not the brightest candle; the exasperated tones around me told me just that. But I should have at least had enough mind to remember such important things.

My sobs racked through me fiercely at this.

"I know I can remember!"

"Johanna, do not strain yourself," Papa said, almost commanding me. I nodded slowly, wiping away my tears.

"Why did you even bother asking?" I asked thickly, irritated. Papa held me at arms length, looking into my eyes.

"Do you at least miss the idea of having a mother?"

"I hadn't thought about it."

"Well, think."

I did so, slightly confused. I nodded finally, unable to think of a better answer. Papa seemed quite delighted, a smile appearing on his lips.

"Wonderful, Johanna!"

"Papa?"

He only embraced me tightly for a moment, confusing me even more. Papa seemed almost to laugh, though I found it quite impossible. I pushed him away from me gently, my brow knit.

"Why is it wonderful?"

"Johanna, I have found you a mother at last."

"Mothers can't be found," I reminded him.

"Well, yes, of course, but-"

"Unless there is a branch somewhere you got her from, I shan't hold any interest," I said, suddenly imaging trees from which my mother would have grown. Papa put his hands on my shoulders, shaking me slightly from my state.

"No, Johanna, please, do listen. Do you understand the concept of marriage?"

"Yes," I said quickly, not wishing to look silly. He stared at me, though, and finally I shook my head. "No."

"If I were to marry, it would give you a mother," he said. I waited for him to add to this, not fully understanding.

"Who would you marry, Papa?"

"That is the…news, to say the least, that I wished to tell you." Papa sighed heavily, his eyes closing in a moment of thought. When he looked back at me, it was almost an irritant look, thought not directly because of me.

"Papa?"

"It is out Mrs Lovett, Johanna," he said in a tone that seemed thick with forced sweetness.

"But Mrs Lovett is odd," I commented.

"Even so, she is going to be your mother."

"Why do I need a mother?" I asked quietly.

"It is something I wish you to have."

"There's never been a fuss before."

"There has never been need for a fuss before," he replied almost despondently.

"What fuss-"

"Do not ask why, or what, or how, Johanna. You would never understand it."

For once, I did not argue any longer. Papa patted my shoulder and then rose.

"I must leave now, I should think. It won't be long before she knocks upon the door again." We did not need to discuss who _she_ was.

All of a sudden, my mind started to race. I could not explain why. I barely cared why. All I knew was that finally, my mind was being put to use. Finally, I knew something, I had a memory. Before he was out of my reach, I grabbed Papa's sleeve, dragging him towards me. He took the message kindly and sat by me again.

"Papa! Papa, I remember now!"

"Remember what?"

"Mother! I remember her, I'm sure of it now."

"Johanna, for the very last time, it is quite-"

"Impossible, so you have said! But Papa, I do remember!"

Papa looked at me, then sighed pityingly.

"If you say so. What do you remember of her, if I might ask?"

"She sang so sweetly," I said in a hushed voice, earnest. "Never once did she like to sing, but she did it! It was ever so lovely."

Papa was silent.

I smiled, trying to make him smile as well. It seemed that Papa was unable to smile. His jaw was slack with what seemed shock. I waved a hand at him, and saw barely a response. After a moment or so, he finally stood.

"As I said, Mrs Lovett will probably call soon enough. I don't suppose you wish for her to disturb us when we are not ready?"

"No." I was deeply confused, not knowing quite what Papa wished for me to say or do. When the door closed, it was not long before Anthony came to me. I did not pay attention to him, though.

I had at least remembered something for the day.


	28. Sweeney 14

Everyone now knew that we were to be wed. Anthony took no notice of the fact, his mind only ever being set on Johanna. Johanna was much the same, not bothering with anything to do with Mrs Lovett. I had hoped that she would become distressed about it, now having recalled at least one memory of her mother- a memory that I never would have expected.

"'course, yeh're gonna want to 'old the ceremony as late as possible," Mrs Lovett told me in one of her flurried conversations. "I don't suppose Johanna'll be up for a wedding, would she? Anthony'll take care of 'er, of course. Shouldn't think 'e'd mind keeping an eye on my Toby, good enough lad. Both of them."

"It is not a matter of whether I wish Johanna to be there," I muttered. "It is a matter of the fact she wouldn't have a clue about what's going on."

"Well, all that aside, love, I think we're sorted out on all other matters." She clapped her hands, smiling. She placed a kiss on my cheek, to which I could not respond. I barely think she noticed, as soon enough, Mrs Lovett was chattering on again, not even pausing for breath.

I did not notice that the days drawing to those words 'I do' were becoming increasingly short.

To my surprise, on the slowly shortening visits I had with Johanna, she appeared to become more and more attentive to this fact. Not exactly that the wedding was nearing, but instead that somehow, I showed this without wishing it.

"You look like Mrs Lovett's been working you to the bone, Papa."

I chuckled lowly, watching her curious face. To my delight, Johanna seemed somehow to have regained some of that sanity I had seen in her so many months ago. Not that she had recovered, of course. Perhaps I was only hoping. I kept telling myself that I was. Simply because she could now speak without throwing something at a wall or perhaps even clawing at those she was talking to, did not mean that she was at all cured at this point.

For a moment, I reflected on Johanna's comment. It was strange to think that not only had my daughter become so attentive, but I had suddenly become so…readable. One of the gifts I had stolen from Australia was that of my secrecy. No man could see any delight in my face, nor any sadness. Now, though, a girl who could not be called in her right of mind could see my fatigue and irritation.

It was almost petrifying.

One of the only traits that I had left was diminishing. It should not have mattered to me. I no longer had to hide my rage, or hide any hint of murder in my eye. All of those ideas had long left my mind. So…why should it bother me to such lengths?

At last, it seemed that finally, my personal small day of judgement had come.

Mrs Lovett was adamant on the idea that this small ceremony was instead an extravagant celebration. I wonder still if she knew whether absolutely everyone was staring at her as she fussed. Toby, of course, did not let a single breath leave him that spoke out against her.

Anthony himself was quite perplexed about her behaviour. He knew the source of it, but could not quite fathom it. Johanna watched on as she fluttered about the hallways, giggling to herself.

That evening, time finally stood still. My few minutes left alone with my daughter was slow enough to satisfy me at last, yet I could not help but feel a sombre air in the room. Johanna fiddled with her hair in the manner she was accustomed to when somehow anxious, drawing a heavy sigh from my throat.

"You mustn't play with your hair like that," I said, pushing her hands gently away. "It isn't a needed habit."

"It isn't a habit!"

I shook my head, not even able to summon the idea of fighting back.

"Mrs Lovett seems awfully excited," Johanna said musingly.

"Far more than you think."

"Am I going to turn out like her?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"If she's going to be my mother, will I end up like her?" I laughed, patting her shoulder gently.

"No, no, of course not."

"How are you certain?"

"I simply am."

She bit her tongue, rocking slightly. Knowing we had such little time left, I began to try and coerce her into sleeping. Johanna refused, wishing to wait until Anthony returned to her. My patience began to wear, causing our speech to return to a short repetitiveness.

"You'll have to sleep at some point soon. Johanna, you've been tired for some time."

"No, I haven't. I don't need to sleep yet and I shall when I need to."

Thus the conversation went until Anthony at last knocked on the door, halting us. I wrinkled my nose, irritated, knowing finally my time was up.

"Mrs Lovett is ready for you, Mr Todd," he said quietly, then quickly smiling as he turned to face Johanna. I ignored this, and embraced my daughter one last time. She held me in return, almost forgetting I should think that I had to leave.

It did not take long before Mrs Lovett was waiting impatiently beside me. Her overly bright smile did not show it, though, as she firmly hooked her arm determinedly into mine. Toby hurriedly scurried off, whimpering almost.

The church was not very far away. The ceremony was short, and might I say awkward. The vicar in front of us seemed utterly nonchalant, and Mrs Lovett was as calm as could be, if not for her smile. When I was spoken to directly, I could not exactly speak, and instead brusquely nodded my head, instead of saying the words 'I do'.

In no time at all I had faced her, her lips puckered expectantly. At that moment my lips touched hers briefly, the deed was done.

We were married.

It was strange how quickly everything had gone by. In the time it had taken us to be married I doubt Anthony would have been able to force Johanna to sleep. My doubts were true enough, as when we arrived back at the house I could still hear a distant murmuring from her room. I was unable to bid her goodnight, though. Mrs Lovett- I could not bear to call her _Mrs Todd_- still held my arm firmly.

I sighed, utterly unresponsive. Mrs Lovett smiled coyly- or, at least, a feigned shyness- as she opened her bedroom door, pulling me in with her.

"Finally married," she whispered under her breath, more to herself than to me. She hooked an arm around my neck, pulling herself up to meet my lips. With her other hand, she took my arm and wrapped it around her waist.

"I dreamed of this, yeh know," she said, muttering into my ear. "At me Albert's and my wedding. I was dreaming of this moment instead."

"Is that so?" I asked in a melancholy tone.

"The only thing that got me those long honeymoon nights, Mr T," she said breathily, almost gasping. "Or short, should I say," she added, starting to laugh almost madly, desperately trying to gain a reaction from me.

"Really?"

"Yeh think I'm joking? Mr T, there's no joke. I've been dreaming of this moment…" Slowly, her hand grasped my neck tie, pulling it lightly. "For so long."

Somehow, in her haste, Mrs Lovett had pulled her own dress from her small frame and was now standing before me, still kissing me in earnest, in simply her white slip and stockings. I thought of Lucy, trying to rid myself of the knowledge of what I was doing. It did not seem to work. The thought that I was betraying my true wife was far too buried into my mind.

As Mrs Lovett worked at unbuttoning my shirt, the pain of the upcoming night started to wrack through my mind. I could not possibly do it. I had murdered and maimed in the name of she who I loved, and I could not betray her memory in such a way.

Quickly, I threw Mrs Lovett to the bed and pulled my shirt back onto my shoulders.

"I can't do it," I said roughly. Mrs Lovett looked up at me, plucking a lock of her hair.

"Yeh can't do what?"

"This! I just can't…it's not fair to," I finished lamely.

"Who said anything about fair?" she asked quietly.

"Mrs Lovett-"

"Mrs _Todd_," she emphasised. "We're married now. I'm yeh wife. No longer associated with that Albert Lovett. It's Mrs Todd or Nellie."

"Nellie, then," I said tiredly, still unable to refer to her as my wife with a clear conscience. "I have to go."

"Yeh only just got up 'ere."

I scowled. Clenching my fists, I inhaled deeply, attempting not to be overwhelmed by the anger raging my body. I did not want to make this any harder on her than it was. I could understand well enough that she loved me. Yet for some reason she still wanted to create a reason for me to hurt her.

"It's late," I reminded her. "I should like to make sure that Johanna is asleep."

Before I could open the door, Mrs Lovett's voice sounded quietly again.

"This was for 'er, wasn't it?" she asked. I turned slowly to face her again.

"Wh-"

"Marriage. It was for 'er, I'm guessing." She smiled sadly. "I already knew, love. I just didn't want to say it out loud. Yeh want 'er to 'ave a mother."

"And what if it is?" I asked firmly.

"Guess I don't 'ave anything to complain about," she replied, chuckling to herself slightly. I noticed she was slowly moving to lean against her pillows, almost…seductively.

"I really should-"

"I know why else yeh came to me that day, Mr T," she added slowly.

"There is no other reason."

"Yeh're lying there, love. No reason to be ashamed. Just something else I really couldn't complain about."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, my throat dry now.

"Yeh mean to say yeh've never once thought about 'ow Johanna looks awfully like yehr Lucy." I could not help but notice how bitterly she had said the words '_your Lucy_'.

"The thought may have appeared."

"And that's why yeh married me," she said almost triumphantly, now winding her hair around her ring finger. I wrinkled my nose, irritated with the childish way she tried to seduce me.

"That has nothing to do with it."

"I think it does, love. Not to say that yeh don't 'ear of these sort of things everywhere, anyway. Widowers, only a daughter to their name. Well, widowers can get awfully cold at night, can't they?"

"Have you any idea how sick that mind is of yours?" I asked cynically.

"But yeh've done exactly the right thing, don't yeh see? Yeh've tried to fix it all. Well," she began, smoothing out her slip, her fingers slowly fanning out the material. "I ain't complaining."

"I married you to fix all that," I said sternly. "My problems are solved."

"Do yeh really think that, love?"

"Of course I do."

Mrs Lovett smiled, biting her lower lip.

"Yeh've gotten 'alfway there at least. Men 'ave…certain needs to be fulfilled, don't they? It don't 'elp yeh battle if yeh leave those needs desirable, does it, now?"

I gritted my teeth, staring at her. She looked at me hopefully, her eyes wide with anticipation. My fists still did not soften from their clenched state, waiting for me to release my anger. I could not allow myself to do so, though.

Yet, under all of that anger, I knew that she was right. A small, smug smile came to the woman's lips as the realisation dawned on me. I gritted my teeth, moving towards her with the utmost disgust in my mind.

_I'm so sorry, Lucy_

Mrs Lovett wrapped her arms around my neck again, kissing my cheek. She sighed contentedly as my lips traced her collarbone, her jaw line, anything but her lips. My fingers twisted themselves through her hair, almost ripping it out. It seemed to do no good, though. She only pulled me closer towards her.

The only thing that I could hear throughout that night was Mrs Lovett's gasps, calling out my name. To say the least, she was…energetic. I could not make out any of her words, any of the things she whispered into my ear.

I could only hear the cries of my Lucy, screaming at me of my betrayal.


	29. Johanna 15

Even I could see that Mrs Lovett was becoming awfully possessive over Papa. Anthony tried to persuade me otherwise, but I wasn't dumb. I knew very well that I was seeing less and less of Papa, and it was because of her.

I could see that Toby felt much the same way. He no longer was forced into the same room as us, but instead opened the door quietly as Anthony spoke to me, sometimes reading a book or showing me more of his tricks. Toby wouldn't say a word, and we didn't think it necessary to speak to him either. Instead, he would simply sit silently in the corner, or when he felt brave, by Anthony's side on the bed, smiling as stories were told.

Slowly, it seemed that he had become part of our small little family. I liked to think of him as my little brother. To my knowledge, I don't suppose I had had one.

Soon enough, Anthony noticed that it was not apparent that Mrs Lovett and Papa would appear at any time soon, and departed for a short while to the market. I begged to be allowed to go with him, but Anthony was firm enough in his answer.

"You've got to stay well rested."

"Why should I be?"

"Because you've slept so little already and this is what happens," he said triumphantly, kissing my forehead and turning to the door. I pouted, folding my arms. Toby started at me, smiling gently.

"Where's Papa?" I asked myself aloud.

"With Mrs Lovett," Toby said quietly. I almost jumped up when he spoke.

"I thought you didn't speak!"

"I'm sorry, ma'am," he whispered, looking down at the floor.

"You can speak?"

"Well, yes, ma'am, I can."

"Then why don't you speak?"

"I am, ma'am."

"Why do you keep calling me that?" At this, Toby seemed truly confused, although slightly amused.

"Calling you what, ma'am?"

"That! My name's Johanna."

"I know that," Toby said, almost defensively.

"Then call me it. Anthony does, Papa does, everyone does!"

My voice was not raised in anger, but instead in a slight enthusiasm. I could not help it. I had had very little else to be enthusiastic about. Toby smiled slightly, and immediately I was uplifted. It had been a while since I had seen the little boy smile.

Anthony did not take much longer than I had expected him to be, although the time had gone by quickly enough now that Toby was willing to speak to me. He was still quiet, but I spoke on enough for the both of us.

"One of these days you honestly are going to talk the hind leg off a donkey, Johanna," Anthony warned me, chuckling.

"Why would I want to do that?" I questioned, but Anthony did not listen, and instead changed the subject quickly.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, double taking slightly before this as he saw Toby sitting still on the floor. "I utterly forgot about you for a moment. Has there been any-"

"Trouble?" Toby asked, finishing the sentence.

"Well, yes."

"None," he said brightly, smiling at me. I smiled back, not knowing why in all honesty.

"Toby's been good as gold," I said robustly, wrapping my arms around Anthony's.

"I'm sure he has been."

"Anthony," I said all of a sudden, thinking. "Why don't we have a cat?"

Anthony blinked twice, then chuckled, and the subject was laid to rest.

_He he, the shortest chapter in existence in this story! Just something to randomly say 'Hey! Don't forget Toby!' I just got fed up of being Johanna and wanted to be Sweeney again. You've gotta admit, he's more entertaining, right?_


	30. Sweeney 15

Johanna was beginning to grow heavy with child. Even she had seemed to notice. I had not been there to clam her in the small tantrum she had over the fact. Even thinking back on it, I stared down at my skin in disgust, wishing to claw at it like an animal until I could rid myself of the filth.

I tore myself away from our marriage bed after three days, having finally let the evil of my actions get the better of me. Mrs Lovett stared after me as I left her, but I could see the satisfaction in her eyes. A low growl rumbled in my chest, annoyed at how smug she could stand to be.

To no surprise, Johanna was delighted when finally I came to see her again. Anthony watched as she ran up to embrace me, frowning.

"So you finally came down?" he asked lightly, looking at Johanna. Her stomach protruded evidently under her nightgown, making it almost unbearable to carry on. However, I summoned the energy and did so.

I ignored Anthony's question, instead laughing lowly at Johanna's earnest behaviour.

"Papa, you've been gone for absolutely days!"

"I've always been here," I reminded her.

"Yes, but you've not been _here_, have you?"

I shook my head, musing on the idea.

"I suppose not. But, never fear, I have taken my vow not to take such a leave of absence."

"Good," she said brightly, nodding almost in accomplishment. Anthony seemed to look at me with even darker eyes, now positively irate with the fact I had been so easily forgiven.

"If you hadn't noticed, Mr Todd, Johanna needs her rest." At this, Johanna pouted, folding her arms.

"You always fuss over my rest, Anthony. I think you're tired." We both of us looked at her fondly, smiling slightly at her small little comments.

"He's right," I said finally, causing a quick jolt through Anthony's body. "You need to sleep more often, really, Johanna."

All of a sudden, Johanna caught my shirt, grasping it firmly in her hands. Her eyes widened as she looked into mine, tears welling up.

"It's because of…this, isn't it, Papa?" She looked down pointedly at her stomach, and gently I pushed her hands away from me.

"You might say so," I agreed.

"Why hasn't anyone told me?"

Anthony held his breath, waiting for me to blame him. I shook my head, looking towards him. He seemed confused, but content at least that I was not going to immediately speak out against him.

"You never asked."

"I do not think I need to ask, Papa!" she said passionately, although I knew very well she did not know why there was such a fuss to be put up to begin with. She did not know the reason of her bloating was due to the child that grew inside of her.

I held her shoulder firmly, pulling Johanna towards the bed and sitting her on the edge. Without delay, both Anthony and the Toby lad, who I had barely recognised sitting at the other edge of the bed, stared at me with the utmost disgust. Johanna seemed almost curious, no longer with a hint of tears in her eyes.

As long as such was the case, I was content.

Mrs Lovett was not long to join us, and so I was again forced from Johanna's presence as she became uneasy with the fact that Mrs Lovett was near her. Toby wistfully watched as Mrs Lovett left, easily distraught that he could not join her. I could not help but soften slightly for the boy. We had both lost something the moment our vows had been exchanged.

When I thought I was at last free from her mindless chatting, it all began yet again. She pulled me onto the couch beside her, resting her head on my shoulder. I allowed it, only staring off at the wall, ignoring almost everything she said, only replying with a simply 'Yes' when needed.

To my slight surprise, it was Anthony who came to us rather than Toby, delivering his message with reluctance.

"Johanna wants you," he said, folding his arms and sighing heavily as he sat down. I nodded quietly, then moved to rise, but was stopped abruptly by Mrs Lovett's hand on my chest.

"I'm sure she can wait for yeh, love. Few more minutes won't 'urt 'er."

"Be that as it may I shan't keep her waiting."

"Yeh can keep 'er waiting for just…just a little bit longer."

Grimacing, I shook my head.

"You've married me, pet," I said solemnly. "But she's my daughter."

Mrs Lovett pouted childishly, as if such would change my mind, and Anthony watched me as I left the room. He seemed almost to understand what I had said, what had happened, what I had done. I knew very well he did not, but it seemed so just for that moment.

Johanna was as chirpy as ever when I took my place at her side, and seemed quite determined to make me speak to Toby. I could not understand why. Not but a fortnight ago she barely knew his name, and by this point the two were thick as thieves.

Much had changed since last I had seen Johanna before the wedding, apart from her stomach growing. She seemed to have settled, to say the least. No longer was she ecstatic with Anthony's appearance, and even more shockingly she was not jittery when she met someone new, such as Toby. I do not even think I saw her flinch at Mrs Lovett's name.

I almost wished she would, in some ways.

The calm air that surrounded my daughter almost gave me hope. Almost. I knew there was no hope, and it may have been far too many times before that I had to remind myself of this. Yet seeing her so composed, as I had hoped my daughter would be, simply reminded me of what might have been.

What might have been.

I could not get the words off of my mind. Even when Johanna attempted to distract me, and even when I managed to speak to her, they were still there. What had once been mindless thoughts of vengeance were now despair. It sickened me.

Mrs Lovett finally lost her patience with me and came to Johanna's room to fetch me. Her smile was almost grotesquely forced, leaving no doubt that she disliked the idea of my being with my daughter more than her allowed time. For a moment, I empathised with Anthony.

Only for a moment.

"Yeh think yeh should let the sailor boy back in?" she said in a bitter-sweet voice.

"My name is Anthony," I heard a voice say firmly from behind her.

"I don't care," Mrs Lovett muttered under her breath, then quickly turning to me, her smile even wider, her eyes earnest. "Are yeh coming, love?"

"Do I have a choice?" I asked bitterly.

"Papa, you've only just gotten here!" Johanna said, her voice slightly more shrill than it had been before. Mrs Lovett scowled at her, her fists clenching.

"Love," she said firmly, reminding me of her presence. Not that we would need the reminder. I sighed, reluctant.

"No!" Johanna cried out, immediately recognising the sigh. She clutched onto my arm, a few tears welling in her eyes again. "You only just got here, Papa! _She_ always gets to see you, but you're _my_ papa!"

All of us stared simultaneously at Johanna. I opened my mouth to speak, but could not find the words. How could I reply to that? She was right, and there was nothing I could say to convince anyone otherwise. Before anyone else could move, Toby had sidled to Johanna's side, placing a small hand on hers. She did not shake it away, still staring at me.

"Yeh can always see 'er later," Mrs Lovett hissed, having finally moved from her spot, now standing as close to me as she could. I sighed again, not knowing quite what to do otherwise. With a final kiss on her forehead, I left Johanna, who sobbed in annoyance.

"Papa!" she said one last time, trying to make me come back to her. Near to the point of wincing, I was forced to ignore it.

"See?" Mrs Lovett said proudly, her lips close to my ear once out of Johanna's sight. "That wasn't so 'ard now, was it, love?"

A low growl emitted from my throat. She only laughed.

"Yeh patience is growing, love. Not long ago and something like that would 'ave 'ad me pinned up against a wall with one of those razors at my neck."

"I don't have the razors any more. It would be pointless to compare. One would probably have already taken your life by this point if I had remembered to bring them."

She laughed again, but it was slightly more nervous and forced than before. Mrs Lovett began to pull me to the parlour, but a hand was placed on my should before we could move. Mrs Lovett was first to see who it was, and frowned.

"Can I speak to you, Mr Todd?" Anthony asked me, his voice and features solemn.

"Of course," I said, sensing the frustration in Mrs Lovett's breathing the moment the words came from my lips. She walked into the parlour, her feet stamping heavily across the floor. I grimaced.

"Be glad you will only marry once, boy," I said gruffly.

"I intend it to stay so."

"What did you want?" I asked. Anthony looked down at the floor for a moment, taking in a deep breath.

"I want to know…your priorities."

"My priorities?"

"That's what I said. What are they?"

"I'm not sure I understand," I said honestly.

"Well, Johanna. Mrs Lovett. A business. What is it?"

"Johanna, of course."

He paused, biting his lower lip.

"Then why is she crying?"

"Because-"

"Because you are lying, sir, about your priorities." He scowled at me, raising his chin. "I think it best your sort them out. It's doing her no good when you confuse her like this."

Again, what could I say? You can not argue with someone when you know they are right.


	31. Johanna 16

Anthony promised me when he returned from speaking to Papa that he would visit soon enough. I tried to believe him, truly I did, but I knew very well that Mrs Lovett wouldn't allow it. When I asked about her, Anthony took no hesitation in agreeing that he thought her a horrid thing.

"But the I forget," he said calmly, almost repentant. "She thinks you a son, does she not, Toby?"

"My mum left me at the workhouse after she started lifting up her skirts," he said musingly, looking to the floor. "I never had much luck. I don't know why I should have expected it now."

"Mrs Lovett doesn't do that," I exclaimed. "And this isn't a workhouse. It's my bedroom!"

Toby smiled half-heartedly, nodding.

"Yes, you're right," he said slowly. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"She might as well, though," I muttered to myself. I attempted to pull my knees below my chin as I did when I was vexed, but groaned in disappointment as I realised my stomach was far too large to allow me to do so. I reviewed this though in my head, and shrieked in annoyance.

"Anthony, this is far too frustrating!"

"Your father will come again soon, Johanna," he told me softly.

"But my stomach, Anthony," I reminded him, looking down at it. I plucked the my nightgown, which was starting to become tight against my skin. Anthony bit his lip.

"It is nothing to worry about."

"You say that all the time."

"And I mean it. When the time comes, I shall tell you."

"What if I want you to tell me now?"

"I'm afraid I can't do that." I groaned, irate by this point.

"You're hiding something from me, Anthony."

"Johanna, please, calm yourself."

"I have no reason to be calm when I am faced with your secrets!"

"There are no secrets here, Johanna, I only-"

"You're with child," Toby said finally, his voice clear and loud. We both stared at him. I tilted my head, watching his expression.

"What?"

"You're going to have a baby," he said in the same, even, clear voice. Anthony's breathing became heavier, more incensed.

I looked at Toby clearly for a moment.

And then, I laughed.

"That's silly, Toby!"

"It was the easiest answer to give," he told me, although he might have been speaking to Anthony, who immediately returned to normal. Toby smiled lightly at him, nodding proudly.

I just about forgot about why I was so worked up after that. There was no point in being angry if I had begun to laugh. We chattered mindlessly for a while, unable to stick to a subject. At least, I could not, and Toby and Anthony both followed my lead.

A fair amount of times I heard voices outside my door, and waited expectantly for Papa to appear.

He never did.

That night went by without my Papa, again. And so did the night after that. In fact, it felt like weeks had gone by since I had last seen him. I soon began to loose hope in the idea, and instead concentrated to the best of my ability on the fact that I had always Anthony or Toby by my side.

Though it simply wasn't enough, I was subsided with the fact. I had grown to love Toby dearly, and could not imagine a stronger bond than the one I had with Anthony. Love could not describe the way I felt for him. He was my brother, my uncle, my lover, my friend. He was everything I needed.

Except a father.

Anthony seemed to take much more care with me since Papa disappeared from us for a second time. Each night he cradled me in his arms as Toby learned to read slowly, telling us a small story from one of the books we had. I sometimes grew impatient with the slow pace of it all, but whenever I opened my mouth to speak Anthony would press a finger against my lips.

It did not escape my attention that my stomach still continued to grow, even in mere weeks. It made me fret an awful lot, but I was far too hungry all the time to pay much attention to that. I also seemed to be constantly tired. And ill, if I might say so.

Still I had no explanation.

One night, I found myself lying in my crib, Anthony stroking my hair gently in an attempt to soothe me into my sleep. Toby had long curled up on the floor, clutching at a blanket Anthony had lain out for him. I felt as if I had a dog rather than a brother now. He refused to sleep anywhere else other than in our company.

"Why must you have so much trouble with sleep?" Anthony asked me wearily, almost pained.

"It irritates me as much as you, Anthony," I told him truthfully.

"You have no reason to fear the thought so much," he murmured, speaking to himself mostly.

"How does Toby manage to rest so easily," I moaned, staring at him.

"He's only young, I'm sure he just wears out easily."

"It's not fair," I muttered, plucking a strand of my hair.

"Perhaps not, but it can not be helped."

I turned my head from Toby, jealous by this point. Anthony's caressing hand had become hypnotic by this point, and instead of sending me to sleep merely put me in more of a trance, unable to speak fully.

There was enough energy left in me, though, to listen carefully to Anthony's soft murmurs. I think I preferred it to his careful touch. He did not murmur words, as such, but instead hummed a small tune. I remembered Anthony telling me of it a long time ago, what seemed like months now. _My_ tune, he said it was.

"_Green finch and linnet bird…_" he whispered into my ear, his voice enveloped in the song. "_Nightingale, blackbird, how is it you sing…"_

All of a sudden, I screamed.

The song stopped abruptly, and Toby shot up in his small 'nest'.

"Johanna!" Anthony said frightfully, his trembling hands gripping my shoulders as I thrashed about. "Johanna, please, what is it?"

"Anthony…" I groaned, the discomfort flooding my head. I could not explain it, but there was something unpleasant originating from my stomach.

"What's happening?" Toby asked, his voice shaking slightly.

"M-my stomach, Anthony, it's-" I gasped aloud again, my arms wrapping themselves around me.

"Lie still," I was told firmly, a hand pushing my shoulder back to the bed. I attempted to wriggle from him as his hand gently pushed the blanket from me and placed it on the bloating on my stomach. I winced, still uneasy with the idea of his hand touching me.

"It's moving," he murmured, his voice serious for a moment. I stared at him, the room in sudden silence. All of a sudden, Anthony laughed uproariously.

"What is it?" Toby asked again, his voice more eager.

"It's moving," he said clearly, blushing with excitement. Toby stood up immediately, tripping over his own feet to sit by my head.

"Anthony?" I asked quietly, my voice barely audible. Yet he still heard it.

Without another word, he took hold of my hand and placed it next to his. I winced, feeling exactly what he had felt. And yet, I soon realised it was…not unpleasant. If anything, I felt slightly elated. More so than I could have imagined.

"Can you feel it?" Anthony asked me, his voice more hushed as it breathed into my ear.

"It's so strange," I said, my voice without breath. I believe it had been knocked out of me.

"It's yours."

I stared up at him, my eyes in slight awe.

"Mine?"

"Both of ours."

"How?"

"I'm sure that we'll tell you another time."

This usually would have made me question him more, but I was far too amused to care. Anthony rested his cheek on the top of my head, laughing softly, in awe himself.


	32. Sweeney 16

I knew very well I should have ran down those steps the moment I had heard Johanna scream. Yet it was so abrupt, and stopped so suddenly, that I barely thought it had happened. What a fool I had been. Forgetting completely my priorities- I detested the word, thinking of it- I had missed my grandchild's fist movements. I shouldn't think I would have forgiven myself if I had missed Johanna's in my dear Lucy's stomach.

Anthony seemed so happy that he was there that I could barely stand it. He did not speak out about the fact, but his smile told me far more than enough.

I took comfort in the fact knowing that smile was not long to last.

There were only a matter of small months left until my grandchild was to be born. When Lucy had begun to feel the small kicking, it was only three months until Johanna was born. It was almost frightening how close the time was.

Mrs Lovett attempted to ease my restlessness, but it was much in vain. I wished dearly to know how she would ever think it was in her word I would find solace.

Perhaps weeks had gone by since I had last seen my daughter. My patience was beginning to wear, and it showed. I shuddered when I thought of this, feeling almost open to fire. To say the least, it was not pleasant. As my impatience grew, so did Mrs Lovett's. She seemed disillusioned into thinking that I had been visiting my daughter every day, giving my wife- damn the title- very little attention.

"She'll barely notice yeh were even in there, love," she said, her voice far too close to my ear.

"If it were so, then at least I would notice."

"But-"

"Your way simply doesn't make sense, pet," I told her firmly. "I think it's about time you stopped trying."

Bearing her teeth as threateningly as she could muster, Mrs Lovett folded her arms, irate. In a strange way, it was quite funny. In others, I could not find a thing to laugh about.

Johanna was quite giddy when I found her. Her excitement was not what I expected it to be. In truth, she most likely had forgotten the idea of me even seeing her again. In haste, I tried to clear the room of Anthony and Toby, but they refused to move an inch. Once upon a time I suppose I would have resorted to violence.

They knew very well I would not do so now.

"We've heard so little from you," Johanna said to me bluntly, blinking rapidly.

"Two weeks and three days, if I am to be exact on how long it has taken you to come," Anthony said sharply, his eyes staring at me. I lifted my chin, looking down on him.

"If you ever find it in your will to be half as mature as you think you are, you would see that it is not all in my power to chose my routine."

"As the husband I shouldn't think it too hard."

Scowling, I reached towards my daughter, yet she seemed to cower away from me, pressing herself closer to Anthony's breast. I paused, unable to fathom why she would do such. Quickly, it passed, and my brow furrowed, ticked off almost immediately.

"You have been speaking against me," I said brusquely, looking at Anthony. He smiled slightly, gently shaking his head.

"I would never dream of it."

"Then why does she look away from me with such distress?"

"Ask her if you wish for an answer. I can see no more into her mind than you can."

At his words, Anthony himself frowned slightly, regretting them instantaneously. Toby froze slightly, straightening up. The atmosphere was cold, and everyone had all but stopped breathing. Slowly, and in a hushed whisper, Anthony began to read from the book he had been holding, and Johanna listened intently.

Every so often, I would reach out to her again, but Johanna would only move closer towards Anthony. I do not even think that she knew she was doing so. The way that she moved was almost subconsciously. Far too much so.

Yet, as this went by, she did not even look at me. Anthony's eyes could not evade mine, and so his gaze settled on me once or twice. Each time, he was almost fearful. Toby could not stop watching me, as if waiting for me to become furious, to become violent.

If I had not promised myself, I should think I would have.

Finally, someone was angry. Angry enough to finally speak.

"Why are you here?" Toby said, his voice impatient.

"Toby!" hissed Anthony, sharply facing the boy.

"What does it matter why I am here? I am."

"Why now? Why not two weeks ago?"

"I suppose you could ask your _mother_," I said bitterly, putting emphasis on the last word. Both of the two boys gasped, scarcely believing my words. I did not say anything else, nor regretted what I had already said, even as all eyes were lain on me in anger- or, in Johanna's case, terror.

Toby bit his lower lip, and without anther word, rushed from the room, his pace quicker than I had seen before, and with as much fervent attention as I had imagined he had when he had discovered the mystery of Mrs Lovett's meat.

"Toby?" Johanna called, her voice small and weak. Anthony placed a hand on her head, turning her gaze away from the door.

"He's just going to…"

No one could really finish that sentence.

"When's he coming back?" she murmured, barely audible now.

"Toby can come and go as he chooses," I reminded her. "We can not tell when he will come back."

"But _I_ want him back _now_."

I sniffed contemptuously, irate that she should have become so attached to the boy. Anthony weakly tried to stare at me as darkly as he could muster, but it was of no use. Even after so much torture, he was far too innocent to do so.

"Perhaps you should leave," he told me in a small voice.

"You said yourself how rarely I see my daughter."

"Toby hasn't left this room until you came back."

"I can not think of what that has to do with it."

"Johanna's become very attached," he said, looking down at my daughter, who seemed to be shivering slightly.

"He is neither her blood nor kin," I said bitterly. "Should you not have been one of these, I doubt you would still be alive."

"Alive?" Both I and Anthony jumped slightly, looking at Johanna who had suddenly straightened up, and was staring at me, her lips quivering.

"Johanna-"

"Alive, Papa? What do you mean?"

"Please, let it lie, Johanna," Anthony pleaded, his voice breaking slightly.

"_What do you mean,_" she repeated, emphasising each individual word.

I stared at her, searching for words. I could barely find them.

"I'm sure it was just an empty threat," Anthony told her, stroking her hair soothingly, trying to tame her. It was quite impossible by this point.

"Such as you had given Toby?"

"I don't think that is at all to do with-" I was cut off by a low snarl.

"Anthony's right. Toby didn't leave us until you came!"

I opened my mouth, but closed it sharply. Anthony seemed quite as shocked as I was. Johanna had shown nothing but devotion to me each time she saw me. We both knew very well why things had changed. We simply did not want to think it.

"Johanna, please, calm yourself for a moment," I told her, my voice as controlled as I could make it.

"Stop telling me to be calm," she said -_ordered_- her voice trembling. "There is nothing to be calm about!"

"I do mean it, I don't want you at all stressed. It's no good for-"

"For me?"

I held my tongue, regretting ever having spoken to such an extent.

"You must try to be more patient," I said through gritted teeth. "It is no good for anyone's health, I shouldn't think."

"Perhaps I don't care," she said defiantly, burying her face into Anthony's chest.

"It is for the best you leave now, Mr Todd." Anthony looked at me with pleading eyes. I could barely stand that fact of the matter; Anthony felt no anger, nor did he seem smug of his victory. He was…dare I say it?

_Sympathetic._


	33. Johanna 17

Who knew how many days I had sobbed against Anthony's chest, my tears soaking his shirt through. I barely cared. I was far too angry to care now.

It was strange to weep for reasons other than my own sadness. For Toby's sake, I was furious. I loved my Papa dearly, but could not ever deny that Toby, a young brother to me, had sat by my side for almost months on end.

Poor little Toby.

I saw naught of him for a few days, although Anthony assured me he would at some point return to us. Indeed he did. It was late one evening, and I had grown tired of weeping- no longer out of anger, but instead of frustration. My stomach seemed to have grown again over night, and it frightened me ever so much.

Long after I had closed my eyes, I was awakened by a soft creaking of the door. My eyelids were too heavy to open, and so I simply sighed tiredly and listened.

"Where have you been?"

"In the pantry," came Toby's small voice, cracking slightly with effort.

"The pantry?"

"Gaining the courage to go speak to ma'am." I remembered fondly the way he had repetitively called me 'ma'am' beforehand, but realised that the way he directed it to Mrs Lovett sounded more like 'mum'.

"Did you?"

A low, racketing sigh escaped Toby, and I felt Anthony shift slightly as Toby sat beside us.

"I spoke to her. Good hour, I should think."

"But you seem so forlorn."

"Do you really think she'd listen to me?" he asked, forcefully laughing. "Spent most of the time wandering up and down the length of the room, muttering about _him_."

Neither of us needed to be told who _he_ was. Papa had never once been off Mrs Lovett's mind. I shuddered. Only a week ago I was reminded that she was my mother now. It made no sense to me at all, but I accepted what I was told. Each time I heard her name- whether I was awake or not, so I was told- I shivered.

Toby seemed to notice this finally.

"Is she…awake?"

"Johanna fell asleep at least two hours ago. I would not fear her hearing."

"I don't mind if she does."

"She may, though."

There was a small silence, where nothing was heard but soft breathing. It was enough to send me to sleep again, but just in time, Toby spoke again.

"How long does she have left?"

"Not too long."

"Time flies by," Toby said in a hushed voice.

"You have no idea."

"What about Mr Todd?"

Anthony held his breath for a moment, but it passed by quickly.

"What of him?"

"Has he talked about…_it_ yet?"

"I'd rather you didn't use the term it."

"There's no other term to use."

"Well, either way, he hasn't said anything."

"Do you expect he will?"

"I expected him already to have mentioned it on passing."

"He still has time to ask about it."

"I should think he's been keeping count without us."

"Do you really?"

"I would not know. If he spoke more often as a man should, perhaps I could be certain."

Toby sighed heavily, and Anthony shifted, putting an arm around the young boy.

"Are you still thinking of Mrs Lovett?"

"How can I not when she is no longer Mrs Lovett?" Toby asked, a tear audible in his voice.

"No longer?"

"She is Mrs Todd, now, isn't she?"

"Ah."

"Mrs Lovett was _my mother_," he said earnestly, the tears now clear. "Mrs Todd cares naught for me."

"Surely she-"

"She cares naught," Toby interrupted firmly.

"You needn't worry any longer," Anthony said softly. I smiled ever so slightly, attached to the tone.

"I never knew my own mum," Toby said. His voice had become much quieter.

"Many a child has not."

"Many did not find Mrs Lovett."

Anthony chuckled, squeezing Toby gently.

"If we've learnt anything from Mr Todd, that loss can only make you stronger."

"But if I have to be compared to Mr Todd…"

The silence came again, and slowly I came to realise that Toby had fallen asleep. Anthony fell slack, and his slumber had come too.

Not long after, I had lost all consciousness as well.

_Sorry for the short chapter. Just wanted to explain Toby a bit. And Mrs Lovett. The story's nearly over, people!_


	34. Sweeney 17

My plan was the only thing that gave me hope from that day. Johanna would learn to live without Anthony soon enough, or at least sooner than she had learnt to live without me- it was strange that such news should have given me any glad thoughts at all.

For days I had ignored the sound of Johanna's tears, as tears of anger seemed easier to do so with rather than the most common tears of sorrow. I had only noticed these tears when suddenly, they had disappeared. Instead, it seemed that life continued as usual in that bedroom.

I sighed to myself, thinking.

Wishing.

If I had been warned those many months ago that some day my daughter should live her life out in a bedroom, the very idea would either have guided my hand to slit the throat of the messenger, or I may have even knelt to the floor, weeping.

Neither of these had ever come to pass.

Rage consumed me, but finally it was due to my situation at the present rather than those that had already been. Without a business or man to kill, I had no chance of relieving my anger in the ways I had before. There was nothing I could do to wreak my vengeance. I could not quicken the birth of my grandchild any more than I could pause time.

Mrs Lovett's earnest behaviour had finally subsided, and I was able to think these thoughts without disturbance. I suppose it meant I was now able to see Johanna without fear, but I still did not. I was able to live with only my plan in mind, but it would have broken me to see my daughter cower away from me once more.

Each day went by painfully, each day bringing us closer to the final day. It was nothing more than that; the final day. There was no name for it as of yet. I doubt there would be a name for it.

I rambled on like this in my own thoughts, not at all fearing the madness that was already overwhelming me.

With each day passing, life had turned more and more into one of Johanna's books. It seemed the careless father was never to return to the shut away maiden, and the step mother seemed to care little for her either.

I reminded myself each night that all was for her safety.

The storybook tale was not the one I had once hoped, but it was the best I could ask for. I started to curse myself simply for thinking such innocent thoughts as a storybook life. Such was a term that I had heard my Lucy speak of, and I daresay Benjamin Barker once had too. It was too innocent for a world such as the one we lived in. Even if our time- all of our time- was spent locked away by the sea, we could not escape it.

The horrors seemed to be able to follow us anywhere, and the sound of the ocean only soothed us for moments.

Unanimously, it was decided that Mrs Lovett should be the one to buy groceries when finally we ran out, and she grudgingly did so.

Toby attempted to follow her on what was later discovered to be advice from Anthony, but she did not listen to his babbling as she gathered her bonnet, cloak and basket. The boy retreated back to Johanna's room without another word, his eyes tearing up.

I said nothing to him, yet nor did I scorn him in my own mind. Yet I could only be glad he could learn at such a young age. It was terrible enough for a man of thirty to learn the lesson so late and be punished in such severe ways as death for it. It was kinder to let the lesson be learnt at a pre-pubescent age where they may grow.

As Mrs Lovett had disappeared with promise of an hour or so without fear of her chattering, I sat alone in the kitchen, staring off into space.

Thinking.

"Oh! Mr Todd!"

I turned my head abruptly to see Anthony standing in the doorway, slightly surprised at seeing me sitting there.

"What is it?" I asked gruffly. He nodded towards the cupboard.

"Johanna was thirsty," he replied, making his way around the kitchen to prepare the glass of water.

"Has she been well?" My voice cracked in the middle of the sentence. Anthony paused for a moment, then carried on.

"It seems almost the child can not wait to be born," he said fondly. "She has been up most of last night with the movement."

I blinked twice, slightly amused. In the way that I was confused, and slightly intrigued.

"Strange," I said, not directing my speech to anyone in particular. "Lucy had said many a time that the movement became not an ounce more violent before the birth."

"Johanna has always been more unique," Anthony said, his voice thoughtful.

"Is she sleeping now?" I asked wistfully, the strain of the past weeks mounting upon my head. Anthony shook his head.

"I think she's far too tired to sleep."

I nodded, slightly confused by the sentence.

"Mr Todd," Anthony began, his voice timid. "Mr Todd, may I ask you something?"

Unable to think of how to answer, I merely shrugged.

"It hasn't at all escaped my notice," he said slowly, coyly, "that you don't exactly like me being here."

"It didn't escape my notice either."

"Then why am I still here?"

My lip twitched slightly, wishing to sneer.

"For Johanna's sake. I thought this was agreed."

"I have no other wish but to be here, with Johanna, but-" He sighed, shaking his head. "I will not deny it is as easy for you to force me from this house as it is for me to fetch this water."

Each of us stared at each other, confusion lain across our faces. I could not speak- I had not right to, I suppose. It would be far too painful to tell the truth, not to mention utterly a waste of my efforts. Yet, to deny I had any actions against him would be a waste of breath. He knew very well that he would pay for what he had done, even if he did not know how horrifically.

"Anthony?" said a bright voice at the door. Both of us turned, seeing Johanna standing in the doorway, smiling. "Anthony, I'm thirsty."

"I said I'd be through soon enough," Anthony told her, walking quickly towards her.

"But soon enough isn't soon enough," she complained.

Anthony looked back at me, his face pained. Abruptly, he looked to my daughter.

"Will you not say hello to your father?"

I straightened slightly, as if the slightest invitation would make much difference. Johanna's eyes passed across my face once, but ignored me yet again.

"No," she answered quickly, then smiled. "Toby's been telling the most lovely-"

"Johanna," Anthony said firmly, as if he were her father instead. "I think you should at least greet him."

"But-"

Johanna looked at me once more, her face slightly forlorn. A few moments passed, feeling almost as if to last a lifetime.

"I can't," she whispered, and with that she turned to the door again, slightly slower than I had once remembered- I did not expect the child did help.

"Johanna!" Anthony called after her, then sighing. "I suppose I should-"

But I did not listen to the rest of his sentence. My anger and sorrow had forgone the point of simply pushing it to the side. I rose from my seat and followed Johanna out of the room, ignoring Anthony as he called after me as well.

Johanna was still slow, the child weighing her down, and so it was not long before I had her in my grasp again. She closed her eyes tightly as I took hold of her upper arms gently, turning her to face me.

"Johanna," I began, my voice imploring. "Johanna, look at me for a moment."

She shook her head, squirming.

"Please, just for a moment, my dear." I uttered those last two words with gritted teeth, forcing any compliment through to gain eye contact. Still, she ignored me.

I shook her slightly, my temper rising. Anthony's hand lay itself on my shoulder, pulling me away as best as he could.

"Mr Todd, I don't think that-"

"Johanna," I persisted, desperate by this point. "Look-at-me!"

"Mr-"

"Leave me be!" Johanna finally cried, her voice shrill. At this, Toby appeared, his face pale.

"What-"

"Toby, please, go back inside," Anthony said earnestly, worried.

"But-"

"Go back inside!"

"Let go of me!" my daughter shouted, repeating the words over. "Let go of me! Let go of me!"

"Not until you finally open your eyes and look at me!" I shouted, enraged by this point.

"I won't, papa! You can not make me! I won't, I won't, I won't!"

I growled lowly, shaking her shoulders with a fury I had never used upon her.

"My own daughter- betrayed in spirit by my own daughter! Why can you not even look upon me?"

"You can not make me," she whispered, crying now. My grip tightened without me even realising it, and she winced. I wished dearly that I could stop myself, but I could not. Something in my mind had simply snapped.

"I worked so long to find you," I muttered, to enraged to speak properly. "And this is how I am repaid?"

"Stop this!" Anthony said, his voice raised, and his tone firm. He pulled desperately at me, but I shrugged him off. As he had said only minutes ago, it was simply for me to force him away.

"Look at me," I said sternly, my voice wavering. "Look at me, or else."

At those two small words, Johanna's eyes finally flew open. Her bottom lip quivered, and with all the air that she could muster, she screamed, fighting fiercely against me.

I jumped back, flinching slightly as I let go of her. Anthony pushed past me, holding my daughter up before she could collapse to the floor with unsteady legs. I could only watch, petrified.

"S-s-she can't-"

"It can't very well be helped!" Anthony said, his voice worried. "We need Mrs Lovett."

"We can't," I whispered, staring still at my daughter, who had started to turn slightly grey.

"I don't care if we can't, we need her now!"

Toby left the room he had been forced into, and seemed almost as worried as Anthony. He gaped at the scene, frantically bounding up and down from room to room, searching for something I could not comprehend.

"Mr Todd!" Anthony cried out again, enraged by this point. "Mr Todd, please! Just go and get Mrs Lovett! This child isn't going to wait for any of us!"


	35. Johanna 18

I writhed in agony, not knowing quite where I was after the first few hours passed. All that I could remember was Anthony's hands smoothing my hair and laying a cold towel upon my forehead every so often.

"Anthony," I murmured, my eyes almost rolling into the back of my head. The pain had become immense, and I could not concentrate. "What's happening? It-"

"Hush, now, hush," he whispered into my ear. "It'll be alright. Just save your energy."

I winced, feeling that same pain in my stomach again. I clutched at Anthony's hand, and he held mine tightly. Perhaps it was to reassure me, but the desperate way he held me foretold the pain yet to come.

Papa was nowhere in sight. My voice finally found its way to plead for his appearance, but neither Anthony nor Mrs Lovett- who had been rushing about the room with different assortments of towels and such- could answer me.

"How long can it be?" Anthony finally asked frenziedly, almost moaning the words in distain. Mrs Lovett shook her head.

"'eaven knows! I've 'eard it can go on for 'ours if I'm honest."

I groaned, at least understanding her. Another pain flashed through me, causing me to utter a single scream, but it had delivered no release, just as it had not done before. Anthony whimpered slightly, clenching my hand tightly. The moment I drew breath again, he stroked my hair again, hushing me.

"Where's Papa?" I whispered, still faint from the pain. "Please, where is he?"

I repeated my question over and over, still not receiving any answer. Finally, Anthony placed a gentle finger upon my lips.

"Do not fret, Johanna, I'm sure- I'm sure he will be here soon."

"But I need him here now," I told him, gaining a small amount of my voice back before screaming out again.

"We will get him, I promise you," he said firmly, then looked at Mrs Lovett desperately. She shook her head.

"I can't leave now," she said quietly. "The pains are coming quicker, love. If I leave now…"

"Toby!" he called, and within moments he appeared by my head. "Please, take Johanna's hand for a moment, I must find-"

"No!" I said quickly, clinging to his arm. "You can not leave me now, Anthony, I won't allow it!"

"Only a moment, I promise you, Johanna," he told me firmly, shaking my hand away.

I quickly tried to grab at his arm before he could leave me, but it did not work. Too hasty for me, Anthony had disappeared from my sight before I could blink.

For once, though, Toby could not calm me, nor did he satisfy my need for a companion. I did not wish for the young boy who I called brother. I wanted- no, _needed_- my Papa, and my dearest companion holding my hands.

"Breathe carefully," Mrs Lovett told me, finally staying put at the end of my bed. I squirmed, annoyed she must sit there of all places.

"I can't breathe at all!" I gasped. My spare hand clutched my throat in distress. "Mrs Lovett, please, make it stop!"

Mrs Lovett stared into my eyes for a moment, her expression pained.

All of a sudden, the door opened, and there came Anthony again, followed by Papa. I cried out for him, reaching forward as if a child waiting for a teddy. Both of them sat either side of me, clutching my hand.

"Where were you?" I murmured, the pain having ripped through me again.

"That does not matter now," he told me, placing a cool hand on my cheek. "All that matters is now."

"I don't like now."

Anthony laughed forcefully, nervously even. Toby retreated against the wall, confused and wary. Mrs Lovett was beginning to sweat slightly under some effort, and her eyes caught Toby's for a moment.

"Toby," she said suddenly, beckoning him. "It won't be long, fetch the water, quickly. And a towel."

There was a slight pause in the room- one where I felt suddenly painless, where there was pure silence. But this moment was so fleeting that I myself did not notice it, and nor did anyone else. Toby set to the task, his face less traumatised than it had been seconds ago.

"It's time, love," Mrs Lovett said quietly, although her voice seemed to strike both Papa and Anthony harshly. At once, they both clenched my hand, and a pain more immense than before took hold of me.

The next few minutes were a daze to me. My head rolled as I lost myself in the agony, and I tried only to concentrate on Mrs Lovett's command for me to push. I barely knew what to do, but somehow I managed. Anthony kissed my cheek once every so often, whispering words into my ear.

Papa, however, said nothing. I wished dearly that he would have spoken to me, given me a kind word. Without even knowing it, my head had turned from him. I seemed barely to be able to stand to look at him.

Suddenly, I gasped silently, in far too much pain to even make a sound. All breath had been taken from me, and I felt ready to die. I almost begged for it in my own mind, and most likely would have done so out loud if I had been able to.

"Just keep breathing," Anthony whispered into my ear frantically. "Just do that for me, please, just keep breathing steadily."

I forced the air down my throat, gulping as if I were a fish of some sort. However much pain I was in, Anthony's plea was to be obeyed.

Then, as quickly as any of that pain had appeared to me, it had gone.

All that I could hear through the room now was the sound of my breath, and a shrill screaming from where Mrs Lovett sat. Toby picked up one of the towels lain beside him and the two of them fumbled, finally finishing whatever it was they were doing. Mrs Lovett stood tall again, smiling brightly. I looked at her, my eyes out of focus.

"'ere," she said softly, handing the blankets that she had in her arms to Anthony. "A girl. A pretty, little girl."

Anthony held out one of his arms in an awkward way, where Mrs Lovett then placed the bundle of blankets and towels. I blinked twice at it, confused, and then towards Anthony's face where a soft smile lay.

"Oh," he said breathily, quite excited and yet forcibly calm.

There, amongst the blankets, sat a small little thing. A child. A small, pink, whimpering and flailing child. I wrinkled my nose, knowing not what this child had to be so excited over.

Yet, I could not help but love it.

This child had not been there moments ago, and suddenly there she lay in front of me, and I was condemned to love her. I had no reason to, and knew there was no plausible reason, but despite this, I loved her.

I sucked in my breath, snatching back my hands from the two men beside me. Both of them stared at me, slightly alarmed.

"Johanna?" Anthony said warily, his eyes wide in what seemed to be fear. I looked at my hands, trembling.

At the sight of the child, I had loved, but there was something else. I took in my surroundings, and thought back quickly. Yes, I could think back. And I hated it.

"_You," she said, her voice shaking, her finger pointing at me accusingly. "How dare yeh do this to us? Mr T's been waiting years for yeh. And yeh know what? I've been waiting fifteen years for 'im."_

All of those memories.

"_M-m-ma'am, I-"_

"_No!" she said breathlessly. "I'm not listening to any of those excuses! I want yeh to understand this. Yeh better make sure yeh're listening, little missy. Yeh're gonna call Mr T papa. Yeh can call me ma'am or mama, I don't care which. But yeh're gonna be part of this little family if it kills yeh."_

I detested all of the last things I could remember.

_My eyes widened, and then it was as if I were suddenly fresh._

_I did not like it._

_I had finally gone mad._

And yet, despite it all…I remembered them.

I stared at my hands still, and quickly brought my ring finger to my lips, touching the cold ring once. I took hold of Anthony's hand, and kissed the ring he wore, the one that signed our bond to each other. Almost forgetting the child in his arms, he wrapped his arm around me desperately, our child held in between us. He let out a sob.

"It can not be…"

"It is! It is!" I cried, knowing exactly now what he meant. "Anthony, it is true!"

"Dear God, I had thought you lost to us, Johanna!"

Anthony kissed me feverishly, his lips passing each inch of my face until they found my own. I kissed him back, having missed that same, familiar feeling of him kissing me. Quickly, Anthony pulled away, presenting me with our child. Trembling, I embraced the child, tears pouring down my cheeks. It was a wonder I had not lost my mind a second time- everything happened in such a blur that it was enough to overwhelm anyone else.

"She's…she's so-"

"She's ours," Anthony muttered, drawing my closely to him. We were lost to everyone else now. To Mrs Lovett, to Toby, to Papa- then I shuddered.

"What is it?" Anthony asked me, concerned. My face turned to see Mr Todd, having backed away to the wall. I pressed my lips into a tight line, thinking.

"Mr Todd?" I whispered. "Papa? What name must I call you now, sir?" He did not answer me, but I could see that he shook as much as I had. I looked at him desperately, then turned back to my daughter, who was now calm in my arms. She no longer whimpered, but instead looked at me with curiosity.

"She has your eyes," Anthony told me, smiling. I brushed a finger across her head, seeing the same thin hair that covered each newborn baby's head.

"She had your hair," I told him, smiling. I kissed our daughters forehead lovingly, unsure and yet completely certain.

Both I and Anthony looked at each other again, smiling. Such a moment had not been often for us. We had for so long been lost to each other, and there we were, together at last.

Quickly, my stomach started with such a pain that our daughter almost flew from my arms. I groaned, clutching her to my chest.

"Anthony!" I cried out, confused yet again. "T-take her, please!"

He did so, but very reluctantly, and after giving the child to Mr Todd, he returned to my side. Mrs Lovett leapt to her feet, her face pale.

"Dear God!" she said, her voice shrill. "It can not be…"

"Mrs Lovett, do not be so vague with your words," Anthony pleaded, speaking out on my behalf.

"What can not be?" I asked, gasping.

"Another child," she whispered, ordering Toby to get another jug of water and more towels.

"But, it can't be!"

"I'm afraid it is," she said clearly. I groaned again, feeling the same exact pain I had felt the moment before my daughter was born.

"It's going too quick," I murmured, writhing again in agony.

"I know," Mrs Lovett agreed, unable to deny the fact. Her voice was pained, but she seemed determined. I could not help but be as determined as she was.

A second child…the room was spinning with the amount of pressure upon my head. I had not even thought until a small while ago that I even had a child within me, and now my second was attempting to free itself. My love had proven to be immediate with my daughter, and I did not wish to lose a second of that love with her brother or sister.

My heart pounded fiercely in my chest, and again I could not breathe.

"Johanna," Anthony said fretfully, gripping my hand in both of his own. "Johanna, breathe, now!"

"I-can't-" I gasped, unable to even force the air to my lungs. "Anthony-"

"Don't speak," he commanded me. "You'll only make it harder on yourself."

I shook my head, not exactly disagreeing, but not knowing what to do. My head became light, and I could feel myself ready to faint. My heart still beat quickly, even when Mrs Lovett gasped aloud as the child was born.

"A boy!" she trilled, ecstatic that the deed was done. "Johanna, yeh've got a son!"

I nodded weakly, still catching my breath.

I could not.

"Johanna?" Anthony said softly, still entranced with the child. Suddenly, his tone became hesitant. "Johanna?"

"Anthony- I-"

I uttered a silent scream of pain and terror, clutching my throat, trying to breathe.

"Johanna, it is done! Calm yourself!"

"I-"

"Johanna!"

The perspiration on my forehead was evident still, and all I could hear was Anthony's voice fading to a soft murmur in my ear, as if he was disappearing from me entirely, although still calling my name.

I could not listen to the voice, however much I concentrated on it. I was looking ahead, being pushed into the one place I had once wished I was, but now tried to turn from.

Home.


	36. Sweeney 18

My back was pressed against the wall firmly as I watched the scene before me. Anthony beat at Johanna's breast, pausing only a few times to place his lips on hers, breathing into her rapidly.

"Please!" I shouted, unable to control himself. "Please, you can't! No, you can't!"

I looked about the room, determined to lay my eyes on anything but that in front of me. Mrs Lovett had left the moment that Johanna had closed her eyes, carrying my granddaughter with her while Toby followed, carrying my grandson.

Five minutes had gone by continuously where Anthony desperately tried to bring my child to life again. I myself knew it was quite impossible, but did not wish to say it, just simply because I hoped that if he carried out the action long enough, it might be that she would live again.

At last, he saw the hopelessness as well, and collapsed in despair. He still clung onto Johanna's form, shaking with the tears of it.

It was a sight that even I was not prepared to see.

Slowly, I found my feet and came towards the pair, my trembling hands reaching out to what was once my daughter. As if sensing it, Anthony beat my hand away, almost snarling like a beast.

"You weren't even holding her hand!" he cried out, tears of rage in his eyes. "You were cowering in a corner like a child- not even that! Even Toby could stand to be here! You couldn't even hold her hand before she-"

Uttering a furious sob, he embraced his dead wife, shaking.

I refused to move from the bedside, looking now only at Johanna's face. It seemed as if she could easily be resting. Her skin was pale, and her lips were starting to turn blue, but all in all it was still my daughter's face.

My hand reached out and stroked her cheek gently. It was colder than I had imagined. I winced, having only ever felt the warm blood of the dead, never once feeling the coldness that came upon them afterwards.

Unable to take it any more, I quickly rushed from the room, clutching my chest. Yes, it was true. I could feel my heart breaking in two. I stumbled through the hallway, not quite able to see where I was going.

To my misfortune, the first room I came to was the parlour, where Mrs Lovett had taken my grandchildren. The word seemed alien to me, although it meant very little. I could not concentrate on family when the last of it I knew was gone.

Mrs Lovett sat with the girl in her arms, rocking gently. I watched silently through the crack of the door, surveying her. I could not help but be soothed. It was a more peaceful scene than I had been used to.

"_By the sea, __you and me, that's the life I covet,_" she sang gently, her tone as sweet as she could sing. "_By the sea, you and me, oh I know you'd love it._"

Toby sat on the opposing chair, staring down at the young boy he had on his own lap, who squirmed ever so slightly more than his sister. It was easy to see who would be favoured. I sighed to myself, leaving the scene. I retreated out to the platform that looked out to the sea. The one Mrs Lovett had always gibbered about.

It seemed to be the only place I could find peace of mind.

At last, I could think without the small voice in my mind that told me to see Johanna again. To look her once more before I was sure she would no longer look like my Johanna. Yet, even though I ignored the voice, the voice did not ignore me. Her face appeared to me, flashing through my mind, disallowing me the peace that had been there when I first came outside.

As the images came to me, I concentrated on the ocean, trying desperately to distract myself. It would have been possible had I not loved her so dearly.

Slowly, the sun began to set, and it seemed as if a cool breeze had come to remind me of what lay indoors. I had not counted how long I had simply been standing there, but wished not to concentrate on it. No one called for me, and I was glad enough of it. I could not help but wonder if Anthony still held onto Johanna.

The air became chilly to the point where I could no longer stand it, and with clenched fists I turned back to the house. Not a sound emitted, and no other sense could be satisfied as far as I knew. No smell- no once could have found the courage to eat. No sight- everyone had locked themselves away.

Upon closer inspection of the house, I saw Mrs Lovett had long become weary and lay asleep on a sofa in the parlour, Toby sleeping alongside her. The two children had been wrapped tightly in blankets and placed together in a bassinette that had been bought a while ago.

My footsteps almost echoed, making the scenes before me even more desolate.

All of a sudden, a noise could be heard. It was not a usual noise, not one of a voice or of footsteps indicating life. It was a crunching sound, that of soil and mud, nestled in the wind. The sound did not come from inside the house, but instead from outside, from the grassy land we had in front of our door.

I ventured towards the sound, desperate for the distraction of whatever I could be given.

Suddenly, the spark lit up in my head. I heard the sound of the metal digging into the ground, but tried not to think about the obvious event taking place. I almost flew through the door, my speed as fast as my breath. When the door had opened and the scene was revealed to me, I clutched my chest again, feeling the wall behind me so as to stand straight.

There, Anthony stood with a shovel, digging at the ground solemnly, his back turned on the figure lain on the ground with a large blanket above her form. Even I could see the tears that rolled down his cheeks, but my anger was too pure to see such a sadness.

"What do you think your doing?" I hissed, still leaning against the wall for support.

"She deserves a proper burial," he informed me, his voice breaking. I stumbled across to him, attempting to grab the shovel from his hands. I was so weak he only needed to move away, leaving me to fall to my knees beside the body.

"It isn't time," I said through gritted teeth.

"She wouldn't have wanted us to dwell," Anthony said, his voice feigning a confidence.

"What she would have wanted is of no importance if she can not be here to say it!"

Before I could gain my boundaries, Anthony spun around and with a sickening thud, the wooden end of the shovel crashed upon my back, leaving me sprawled across the floor. I looked up, seeing Anthony shaking and crying with rage.

"If she were here, would she have it any different?! No, she is not here, but I can not allow her to simply rot here in my presence!"

"Better than to quickly be buried and forgotten!"

Again, the wood came crashing across me again, and Anthony howled in fury as if he were a beast again.

"Forgotten? Forgotten! The man claims she can be forgotten! How foolish are you? My wife, your daughter, the mother of my child and your grandchildren! How can she be forgotten by anything as silly as soil?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it, looking towards my daughter's body. My fists gripped a few blades of grass in each hand and tore them from the ground.

"I only meant that-"

"I think it wise you say nothing else, Mr Todd."

Finally, Anthony seemed content enough with the depth of the hole he had dug, and moved towards Johanna. At this, I straightened up, pushing Anthony away lightly.

"No," I said firmly, and before he could argue, I continued: "If you so wish this, I shall be the one to carry it out."

Anthony paused, watching me, then nodded, biting his bottom lip in fear of weeping aloud. I gently took hold of the form, making sure it was still covered by the blanket. At least, her face should have been. I could not bear to look at her face again, to see those pale cheeks and blue lips.

Before her body was placed in the grave, my lips brushed the blanket softly where it lay over her forehead. It was the very least I could do to say goodbye.

And then, as quickly as all that, Johanna had been placed in the grave, and Anthony quickly started to fill it. I do not know whether he had already said goodbye to her- perhaps the tears beforehand had been enough to show his grief to say goodbye.

I backed away again, turning my eyes from the scene. I only looked towards them again the sound of the shovel being thrown to the ground confirmed that the deed was finish. Anthony's cheeks had gone pale, a sweat upon his brow making the fact more prominent.

"What have you in store for me now?" he whispered, the question clear, though.

"I had my plan, you needn't worry about that."

He turned to look at me, his eyes dull and more soulless than I had seen them before.

"Do not mock me, sir. I only wish to know what there is left for me now."

"You have your children."

"Please," he said, laughing darkly. "You would never allow me them."

"You are right," I replied, sighing. "I should think I would not let you touch my grandchildren."

"Then you are going to kill me? Send me to prison?"

"I had never planned to kill you. You saved my life once, boy, and that I shall never forget. And I could never send anyone to prison. Such has been done to me before, and I had lost everything until you brought it back to me."

Anthony stared, confused. I must say, I myself was confused.

"Mr Todd…"

"I planned to run away from you," I continued. "When the child was born- in this case, children- I would take Johanna, Mrs Lovett, Toby, the children and we would be gone from you in the middle of the night. As I was, you would be left with nothing. It was the least you deserved."

"Then why tell me now? Why prepare me for my downfall?" Anthony's voice quivered as he asked me, causing me to smile slightly.

"Because, Anthony, tonight I am instead going to die."

There was silence now. Only the wind broke this silence, and even that hushed for us.

"Die?"

"I had never planned to see Johanna again," I said, my voice morose. "When I had killed the Judge- dear God, it seems such a long time since I have had to think of the man- my taste for vengeance would be satisfied, and with nothing left, I would have died."

"You mean to say…this was all a mistake?"

"Every single moment of it. I knew you would bring Johanna to my shop that day, but I was too caught up in my thoughts of murder to think that I might see her again. So much so I had almost killed her. I would indeed have done so if it were not for the fact she screamed your name."

Anthony gasped out loud, a shuddering sob echoing through the grounds.

"And so, I would have killed myself, and none of this would have happened. You would be somewhere, grieving for her, or possible even marrying another. Or, if my predictions were wrong, you may have married her anyway, and have your children beside you now. Toby would never have come back into our lives, and Mrs Lovett would have retreated back to her life of pie making."

"Bu why would you admit to all this?" he asked me. "You could just have easily have taken my children from me, to run away."

I smiled weakly.

"The ghosts never go away, Anthony."

"That's exactly what Johanna had told me."

"She had learnt a lot," I said grimly. "In fifteen years, she seemed to have been taught the same lessons as me. Sad that a girl of her age should be so learned."

"Sadder yet it should be thought of so lightly."

I shook my head, still in disbelief of it all.

"Never lightly. Never once thought upon so lightly. But, I forget. You have your children to tend to."

"They are your own flesh and blood as well," he reminded me.

"They may never be my flesh and blood. I have not earned the right to it, and I daresay they would not enjoy knowing that their ancestry was ever the likes of me."

"Will they find out?"

Again, I shook my head. The question was very clear. Would Anthony ever be able to tell them the tale of their grandfather?

"I would rather they did not. The world is cruel, but I would rather it was not forced upon them in such a way that it was forced upon me or their mother."

Without another word, I departed from Anthony, knowing very well that I was not destined to see him again. I sat alone through the night, not in anyone's company, nor thinking of anyone but Johanna. It would be her I thought of when I died, and her alone.


	37. Anthony Epilogue

Mr Todd was as good as his word. By that morning, when I had finally let myself free from that horrid parlour- for, you see, I had not slept, and a place may become dreadful when you do not leave it for a great amount of time- Mr Todd had left. He was never found again. I was surprised he had taken such care with his death that no one should ever know it, nor find the body. To this day, it has not been found.

The children woke many a time throughout the night, but it was clear that I had only the ability to care for one at a time, and my daughter was the one to be cared for firstly and with most tenderness. I curse myself I should be so open about my immediate preference, but it could not be helped. My son would forever be known as the child who killed his mother.

Not, to say, that I still did not love him as a father should. I simply did not _like_ him. Dear God, the thought still sickens me that I should not like my child, even if I did love him.

As Johanna never had the chance to name our children, it was left to me to do so.

Our daughter was to be named Eleanor, after Mrs Lovett. I somehow had to repay her for taking us in, and for giving Johanna a true friend before I could find her again, even if they were not on best terms afterwards. Mrs Lovett cried her eyes out like a child herself when she found out, holding little Eleanor in a way I imagined she would hold her own child.

Our son was to be named Benjamin. He had started to sprout dark hair, almost black, on the top of his head, similar to his grandfather's. I knew it would be foolish to name the child Sweeney, and remembered that once upon a time Johanna had told me he once called himself Benjamin Barker. It seemed a much more innocent name, and may have been a much more innocent man. I could only hope for the best.

I was glad to know, before any long term plans could be made, that Mrs Lovett seemed to have realised Toby's existence again. They often would embrace as a mother and her child in front of the fire at night as I tended to Eleanor and Benjamin.

"Without Mr Todd, she don't have no one but me," Toby said to me once, slightly glad about it.

It was a thought to ponder on. However cruel, scheming and evil the man had been, he had been loved. Strange how someone like that should be missed. Murderers and men who thought themselves above the law would often die alone, with no one to mourn over their graves. And yet Mr Todd had a wife who loved him, and one beforehand who he had loved.

The idea came that perhaps, through it all, he had been a normal man.

Normal men could be loved, no matter what they did. A man could burn a shirt and his wife would still love him. A father could accidentally throw out a teddy bear, but his child would still love him, albeit after a small fuss. Perhaps, even though a man could murder another, almost bathe himself in an enemy's blood, he could still be loved.

Stranger still, I thought, that perhaps once upon a time he had been a normal man without plots of vengeance.

A man who could have been anyone I had met in the streets whenever a boat stopped at the ports of London. I shuddered at the mere thought of it.

It was decided, for the best, that I would not stay at the house for much longer than a month, at which point my children would have been strong enough for sea air. I would return to a life at sea, to raise Eleanor and Benjamin there. I supposed they would like it. They could decide that for themselves one day, in the future.

Toby seemed quite sad to let me leave, but he was also glad enough that his life should got back to one of a happy family. He prayed to me in private that Mrs Lovett would not marry again, and that it would just be the two of them, as he had once hoped. I promised myself to pray for such every night as long as I lived, having grown fond of the boy as if he were family. I only wished the best for him.

It was pure luck that an old friend of mine who had once sailed the Good Ship Bountiful had landed at the nearby ports, and contacted the captain of the ship to enquire a job for me, and to allow my two children on board as well. We were given access to the ship, and within that week we were prepared.

Any farewells given were brief, and before the evening was out, I was onboard the ship I now dubbed home. It took me a while to realise how much I had missed the ocean. Ever since my own father had taken me on board at six years old I had lived at sea, stepping on land only when we would dock in London so as to look about my home away from home.

Before the anchors were lifted, I looked out towards the ports. It was strange that I was not looking at London. Each time I had ever looked over the edge of a boat, it was at London. I wondered if I would ever return to the city I remembered, but then realised I had promised Johanna once we would never return. Even if she were not there, I was to keep that promise at least to myself.

And so, with that, we started to move.

I could not help but wish, though. Throughout the whole journey, I was wishing.

Wishing that Johanna had never died.

Wishing that she had never gone mad.

Wishing that we had not been found that day by Mr Todd.

Wishing that we had escaped from the barber shop.

Wishing that she had never even been put in a mad house.

Wishing that she had never had to live with that Judge Turpin.

Wishing that, to the extreme, he had never fallen so desperately in love.

Wishing it away.

_Gah! Finally finished it all! I can't believe it took so long, but it's done. Anyway, I hope all my favourite people have enjoyed this! Especially ObscureBird, Verity Strange and Falling Stardust!_

_I will be making another story that follow after this one based on Eleanor [[Ellie, as she will be called]] and Benjamin's relationship, their life, what happens, etc. I have very little homework, so just look up and within the week [[when I say that, I actually mean three days, to be accurate when thinking of my boredom]] and it'll be there. Not sure what to call it yet...if you can think of random titles, I'll work it around that._


End file.
